Essex Life

I thought I’d geared myself up properly for it but nothing could have prepared me for the sheer effort required to get round the course.

I was probably the first competitor down there at 8am, three hours ahead of the race, as I was helping set up BBC Essex’s roadshow on the promenade.

Feeling confident before the start

Luckily the conditions were about as perfect as they could be considering that it was the middle of winter – mild temperatures, no wind and no rain.

Stood on the edge of the promenade, looking out over the mud, I concluded that if there was any good time to run the race, it was now.

However, I still had to wait for the start at 11am – well, as it turned out, more like five past once the delayed and rather confusing start kicked in!

We assembled on the start line, in the mud, shortly before 11.  As soon as I stepped onto the soft, sticky surface, the stench rose up and hit me in a wave, it was everywhere.

Trying to get a decent grip was impossible as your feet sunk instantly, so there was plenty of squelching at the start as people tried to stop themselves slipping over.

So you don't loose your shoes....

Some of you may have heard about the false start, so I guess I’d better explain what happened from the front line!

BBC Essex Breakfast Show presenter Ray Clark was doing his best to keep the crowd happy whilst we waited for some late arrivals, so he tried to start a Mexican wave going – a great idea, but hard to implement with around 4000 people!

The wave took so long to organise that by the time Ray had got everyone ready and said “3, 2, 1, go,” some of the racers said “sod this” and started sprinting for the river!

Having little other option, I started running too, or rather squelching my way down the bank to the river.

I got there without falling over and waded across the river with little problem, thinking “what’s all the fuss about?!”

However, then I tried to make my way up the bank on the far side of the river and suddenly realised just how tough the race gets.

Exhausted at the end of the race

It was impossible to try and find a clear path up the bank, all the mud ahead of me was churned up and gave me no choice other than to go on my hands and knees and crawl forwards.

The mud was literally everywhere – each time I tried to stand up, I sunk back down to my thighs in the stuff, and would then proceed to fall over, so I decided hands and knees were the best way forward.

I couldn’t stop laughing as I was slowly making my way round, simply because the whole event was so ridiculous.

It was really good-humoured, everyone seemed to be having a good time, I was even having a joke with one of the other competitors as I was making my way round.

Having said that, it was far from an easy race.  Every step or slide was a huge effort as I inched closer to the finish, and there were several things under the mud as well.

I’ve got several cuts and grazes on my legs from where they scraped over anchor moorings or rocks – I understand now why they needed everyone’s shoes to be taped to their legs along with having a tetanus jab!

After 10 minutes of strenuous effort I crossed the line in 77th place, not bad out of over 180 competitors.

Just enough time to have a quick word with Ray before I headed off to a lovely cold shower – the first of five showers I had that day, and I’ve only just about got rid of the smell!

As a one-off event it was actually quite good fun, and I raised around £280 for charity so it’s for a good cause.

That said, I can’t say I’ll be rushing back to do it next year – some other mug can do it, any takers?!