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Ahmed Morris: "going to the gym won't reduce crime"

Come Fly With Me: The NLP's Last Minute Attempt To Woo Voters

In the final days of the election campaign the Natural Law Party has made a last minute bid to win over floating voters. At a news conference party spokesman Morris Ahmed described how yogic flying would be the "cornerstone" of his party's programme to tackle Britain's problems.

By using yogic flyers who will radiate "peace, happiness and harmony", Mr Morris believes his party can reduce sickness, crime, violence, and all other forms of negativity. In total they propose to have around 7,000 yogic flyers who, it is hoped, will provide the UK with a coherent consciousness that will remove stress and inertia and thereby uplift the whole economy.

flyers

Yogic flyers

Mr Morris described the experience of yogic flying as being mental rather than physical. Ordinary exercise does not compare to yogic flying as Mr Morris was keen to point out, "going to the gym doesn't solve crime."

The Party is extremely confident of the benefits to be derived from yogic flying and has pledged to reduce taxes, cut unemployment and even to reduce disease by 50% within the first three years of their government. The party is also in favour of devolving power from the centre and placing more responsibility in the hands of local authorities.