Day Twenty!

Day Twenty!

David Laughing

If we could change one thing about Christmas what would it be? Busy shops? The fact that we don't really like mince pies? No! It would be the standard of jokes you get in Christmas crackers. To combat this and to spread a little festive cheer we're providing a load of Doctor Who related jokes for you to memorise and share...

Thanks to everyone who sent in their gags... sorry there are a few groaners... But Christmas wouldn't be Christmas without a few terrible jokes...

The Doctor Who web team came up with these:

Q: Did you know that chefs all over the world are worried about a shortage of herbs over Christmas?

A: It's because many people are predicting we'll see The End of Thyme.

Q: Have you heard that Sigma, the Master and the Abzorbaloff are making a new movie?

A: It's called The Ood, The Bad and The Ugly.

Q: Who is the scariest Time Lord?

A: Doctor Boo!

And thanks to everyone who sent these in...

Q: What is the Cult of Skaro's favourite food?

A: Darlick bread!

Q: Why do Judoon officers go around in threes?

A: One reads, one writes, and the third keeps an eye on those two dangerous intellectuals!

Q: Why do Daleks like apples?

A: Because an apple a day keeps the Doctor away!

Q: How does a Dalek keep its skin soft?

A: Exfoliate! Exfoliate!

Q: Why did the Dalek apply for a job in pest control?

A: He liked the job description - "Exterminate! Exterminate!"

Q: What do you call an angry Dalek creator?

A: Davcross

Q: Hey, did you know that Daleks have special make-up for their eyestalks?

A: Yeah, they call it Ma-Skaro!

Q: What happened when Father Christmas decided to playfully belt my friends and me with a rubber hatchet?

A: The Claus Soft-Axed Us (The Claws of Axos!)

Q: What happened when a stupid pub devoured my friends and me?

A: The Dumb Inn Ate Us (The Dominators!)

Q: What happened when a popular music publication went global?

A: It became The NME of The World (The Enemy of . . . oh, you get the picture!)

Q: Why does the Doctor regularly visit the dentist?

A: Because he doesn't want to lose his K9!

Q. What do you get if you cross Dizzee Rascal and Doctor Who?

A: The first of the Grime Lords!

Q: What do you call a frightened Time Lord?

A: A Gallifreydee cat!

The Doctor: I say, I say, I say, K-9's been damaged on a nearby star.

Sarah Jane: Sirius?

The Doctor: No, he'll be fine.

A Dalek went to the job centre looking for a job, but in the end he didn't apply for any because there wasn't any temporal-shift work...

And finally, it wouldn't be a collection of Doctor Who related jokes without this antique and much-loved gag...

Knock, knock!

Who's there?


Doctor who?

You said it!

Thanks to everyone who sent in their jokes, and in particular....

Philip, Adam, Steve, Tommy, Hannah, Kate, John, Karan, Harvey, Lewis, Emily, Hannah, Aisling, James, Will, Luke, Rebecca, Aisha, Anoushka, Sarah, Dave, Steven, Harry, Amber, Brodie, Melanie, Hannah-Rose, Charlotte, Stephen, Bella, Nathan, Sam, Matt, Kevin, Izzy, Hannah and James

BBC © 2014 The BBC is not responsible for the content of external sites. Read more.

This page is best viewed in an up-to-date web browser with style sheets (CSS) enabled. While you will be able to view the content of this page in your current browser, you will not be able to get the full visual experience. Please consider upgrading your browser software or enabling style sheets (CSS) if you are able to do so.