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how does one deal with folk who creep you out

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Messages: 1 - 43 of 43
  • Message 1. 

    Posted by loveearth (U9193504) on Saturday, 31st May 2008

    one of my neighbours at flats - so not so easy to avoid - thinks hes the mutts nutts(but really has low self esteem issues i suspect-certainly got the big ego to match), and does inuendo stuff, and makes me feel quite sick, at least did on the first time i ever saw him, and didnt even know he had just moved in.....how do people deal with those that give you the creeps???? tips please.......hes one of those who thinks he knows you and is a real space invader, full of assumtions and creepy

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  • Message 2

    , in reply to message 1.

    Posted by Babs (U12089863) on Saturday, 31st May 2008

    Not easy. Quite often people (are they usually men?) like that are oblivious to the fact that you don't find them attractive, so whatever you do short of telling him to "Get lost, creep!" is likely to go over his head. I'd say avoidance was best, although as you say, difficult.

    If you don't have a resident male of your own, can I suggest you borrow one? The bigger the better. Even better if he looks like a prizefighter with fists at the ready. Parade him around for a short while and you might find the creep retreats back into his corner.

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  • Message 3

    , in reply to message 2.

    Posted by floopowder (U4607613) on Saturday, 31st May 2008

    In the 80s we were acquainted with a really creepy bloke. His wife had left him and he somehow gained custody of his two young daughters. I remember once coming across him and his daughters in the swimming pool to which I had taken my own three girls. With the children splashing around us he asked me if I would like to take a look at his manhood!!! smiley - yikes I used some expletives which do not normally sully my lips!

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  • Message 4

    , in reply to message 3.

    Posted by Babs (U12089863) on Saturday, 31st May 2008

    What a horrible experience. Did the volley of expletives do the trick? I think that backs up what I thought - that sometimes blatant honesty is the only way to dislodge someone like that.

    I remember my mother (many years ago!) dealing very effectively with a creep who tried it on, by telling him in no uncertain terms that she would inform his wife of his suggestions.

    Obviously this only works if the creep in question has a partner (can't imagine how they'd have/keep one, your acquaintance obviously didn't).

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  • Message 5

    , in reply to message 4.

    Posted by floopowder (U4607613) on Saturday, 31st May 2008

    My husband thought the incident very funny when I related it to him!

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  • Message 6

    , in reply to message 5.

    Posted by albback (U11643252) on Saturday, 31st May 2008

    There's a difference between being dangerous and being socially inept (see The Big Bang Theory).

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  • Message 7

    , in reply to message 2.

    Posted by jamie (U12144626) on Saturday, 31st May 2008

    WofBabylon
    Quite often people (are they usually men?) like that... 
    Well I must say, as a male member (oops) I must take exception etc, but sadly you're right, and I'm full of sympathy for what ladies sometimes have to go through
    I'm a man who now lives with another man and we too get a lot of cr*p, of a different sort, usually from men of course - their attitudes puzzle me, but I can empathise with the problem in question
    Jamie

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  • Message 8

    , in reply to message 3.

    Posted by Nora-Bella (U5768358) on Saturday, 31st May 2008

    Yikes, how awful, bad enough if you were on your own but in front of children - outrageous!

    I had a nasty experience in hospital in the 1970's, I was 14 and although there and the only person occupying a 4 bedded unit. The caretaker (yes the flippin' care taker) used to talk to me as he might and as the days went by (I was in for 5 days altogher) he started to tell me he had a 10 inch w*lly, I dont remember on which day it was but he offered me a feel, I declined and prayed he would leave me alone every day afterwards, and no I did't tell anyone, who would have believed a 14 year old?

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  • Message 9

    , in reply to message 6.

    Posted by Skylark (struggling to be more blythe and spirited) (U6629883) on Saturday, 31st May 2008

    There's a difference between being dangerous and being socially inept  

    Too true, and a lot of the strange people around us aren't dangerous, but just lonely people who don't know how to make friends.

    However, it is probably not wise to give too much encouragement, especially to people of the opposite sex who live in the same block of flats.

    My advice is to be formal, polite, make your excuses and leave.... after (perhaps) giving some suggestions as to how they could meet new people?

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  • Message 10

    , in reply to message 1.

    Posted by NettoFabulous (U2259715) on Sunday, 1st June 2008

    Sun, 01 Jun 2008 11:38 GMT, in reply to loveearth in message 1

    There's nothing wrong with just telling him politely that you don't want him to make sexual comments to you - if you can bear to. It might make him feel embarrassed and uncomfortable, but so what, this is what he has already done to you. You don't have to be rude or unpleasant about it. His social life or lack thereof is not your concern and you have a right to feel comfortable going about your business in and around your own home. I worry that if you do as Skylark suggests and get into helping him meet other people, you will never get rid of him. I might sound callous, but tbh this man displays no evidence of any problem other than not respecting other people's boundaries. Listen to your gut instinct, and get some distance between you. Instinct is there for a reason.

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  • Message 11

    , in reply to message 10.

    Posted by Skylark (struggling to be more blythe and spirited) (U6629883) on Sunday, 1st June 2008

    Gillo, on reflection I think you are right, and suggesting other social activities is probably not a good idea. I mentioned it only as a "perhaps."

    If the man is making sexual innuendos, I might pretend I hadn't heard them, but it would depend on the circumstances. Either way, I wouldn't want to antagonise him, so keeping a polite distance would be my option.

    Report message11

  • Message 12

    , in reply to message 11.

    Posted by Jamaeli (U2334539) on Sunday, 1st June 2008

    Some of your expereinces sound horrid. I certainly wouldn't want to be a woman on the receiving end of creepy male attention.

    But men aren't the only creatures who're capable of being creeps. My neighbour, a lovely elderly lady I get on with very well, has a daughter who will not stop knocking on my door and making suggestive remarks over the fence when she visits. It's not something I've come across often I admit but it's still unnerving and very irritating, though not frightening.

    To women receiving unwanted passes from creepy men, I'd say that, based on past experience, a lot of men really don't understand subtle signals. I'd suggest being polite (to avoid too brutal an ego-lashing) but very firm (so he's left in no doubt). If it happens a next time, say that you've asked for his co-operation already and mumble something about the police.

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  • Message 13

    , in reply to message 7.

    Posted by Babs (U12089863) on Sunday, 1st June 2008

    Apologies Jamie - no offence was intended. I think there are some women who behave in socially inept but (and I risk depending on sweeping generalisations here!) the pattern of behaviour does seem to be different depending on gender. The media reports women more often using stalker-type behaviour and men behaving as the OP above.

    This might be complete rubbish and far from the actual truth, but the usual stereotypes of the Psycho-Bitch-From-Hell and the Dirty Old Man must have their origins somewhere?

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  • Message 14

    , in reply to message 13.

    Posted by floopowder (U4607613) on Sunday, 1st June 2008

    I agree there are plenty of creepy women around too!

    Report message14

  • Message 15

    , in reply to message 10.

    Posted by Jart (U2565866) on Sunday, 1st June 2008

    I am with Gillo on this, you need to be firm and polite but nothing else.

    I was in a similar position some years ago but with a police constable as the perp. There had been a violent rape in the neighbourhood and two officers came to my door "making enquiries". I explained I had seen or heard nothing and they left. Later that evening one of them came back and said he needed to check my home security. He came in and when he entered my bedroom commented on my undewear. He sat on the bed and asked me to join him, I was completely freaked and said no, I was just about to make supper. He asked for a cup of tea and I made him one - his conversation was suggestive and interagatory, started on about my sex life. My chum turned up (thank goodness) and he left.

    Two days later he came back and I had a real battle to keep him out of my home, he insisted that he needed to ask me more questions and was quite cross when I refused to let him in, saying he would be back. He didn't return but I was in fear for several weeks.

    I was much younger and felt completely powerless and he knew it. If it happened today I would not hesitate in putting in a complaint, but perhaps men like him will only prey on young inexperienced women?

    Report message15

  • Message 16

    , in reply to message 10.

    Posted by JamesStGeorge (U225334) on Sunday, 1st June 2008

    Yes firm polite tell him you do not like him or welcome his company. Men often do not do subtle inference, hints, say what you mean without biting his head off, swearing, or being unpleasant.

    Report message16

  • Message 17

    , in reply to message 1.

    Posted by listener (U10967204) on Sunday, 1st June 2008

    As others here have said, firmly tell him that you have no interest in him and ask him to leave you alone. Don't pussy foot around as he may misunderstand you as a recent study found out:

    "Faulty male introspection may explain why men so often misinterpret women's indirect messages to stop or slow down the escalation of sexual intimacy, according to new research by UC Davis communication professor Michael Motley."

    www.sciencedaily.com...

    Report message17

  • Message 18

    , in reply to message 1.

    Posted by U12142684 (U12142684) on Sunday, 1st June 2008

    As ever best remady is to ignore this person, they will get bored and just go away and in time will ignore you! don't rise to the bate.

    Report message18

  • Message 19

    , in reply to message 17.

    Posted by Skylark (struggling to be more blythe and spirited) (U6629883) on Sunday, 1st June 2008

    James and Listener, while what you say may be absolutely right, telling someone politely that they aren't welcome is easier said than done. I've come across too many people who have lived to regret the day they have inadvertently upset their neighbours.

    Some suggestions for how such a message could be passed without causing offence to this charactr might be useful. Sorry, but I can't think of any at the moment.

    Report message19

  • Message 20

    , in reply to message 19.

    Posted by loveearth (U9193504) on Monday, 2nd June 2008

    thank you for all your input x

    i was shocked to hear about the copper who came back round, that is far too creepy*....and the care taker....gross......and all the others......creep is the right word

    and i agree, women can be pretty full of inuendo too, i think it depends on the age of the people involved, and men are definitely more of a threat to me personally.....even tho i know that females can be quite hideous too

    im an upfront kind of a person, but sometimes, all you do inside is just feel like a squirming mess, unable to do, say whatever, and being left with a really bad feeling

    im hoping that he wont continue to be a threat, but will be on guard!

    thank you all

    ive not read all the link Listener, but yep, people really do have some strange ways of interpreting people, and it shows that even when your up front, you still cant always get thro. and so ....now im feeling a bit better..... i would say myself - ignore (and have been) - and walk away really quickly. if more is said that makes me squirm, as recommended i shall be v curt.

    * Jart - im even wondering whether its worth checking if the excuse for a copper is still at that station???? its awful to feel powerless to do anything, especially with the fear instilled by older generations and those in obvious authority like police folk

    Report message20

  • Message 21

    , in reply to message 15.

    Posted by handsomefortune (U2927651) on Monday, 2nd June 2008

    hey jart.... i had a text message from a policeman too. the text read: 'i'm really sorry that i can't protect you in your street' i thought: pardon, i don't have any problems in my street? my dealings with said copper were work related and he suddenly had my street under surveilance, so he reckoned. he said i must be petrified as the street was so busy with crime apparently. funny that - it's actually pretty quiet round here. he then phoned my mobile and i happened to be in marks n spencers food dept ......asking dietry questions. i was a bit scared but then i thought no, he probly does this to loads of women. i probly should have reported this but what an odd story it makes? i didn't bother in the end. i remember the powerless sensation alright though, which would have been serious, had things (unfortunately) escalated. flippingheck - of all blummin people too! ;@.

    Report message21

  • Message 22

    , in reply to message 21.

    Posted by loveearth (U9193504) on Monday, 2nd June 2008

    blimey Hansdsome,

    and they have all your info at the tip of their fingers just like that too, jeez, its well scary

    Report message22

  • Message 23

    , in reply to message 22.

    Posted by handsomefortune (U2927651) on Monday, 2nd June 2008

    no love earth - soz - i didn't mention, i made the (fatal) mistake of working/living as a community dev wrkr in the same small urban community. the policeman knew where i lived AND worked automatically. if not, he'd only have to ask someone at work/in the street.

    ironically, having been rebuffed or ignored, by me after these incidents, he then made a strange comment passing in the street. 'strange' since considering all my training has been round soc/econ exclusion and community participation - he said 'how come your still round here then? if you're that good at your job, you'd have moved somewhere better' .....

    zero comprehension skills or what? ;@.

    Report message23

  • Message 24

    , in reply to message 23.

    Posted by loveearth (U9193504) on Monday, 2nd June 2008

    Handsome,
    all i could say about that fella is what a complete *rse

    (but i shall say again that - they do know all your info, and can get it, so its scary if you know a scary coppa.....mind you, the privicy right is being challenged all the time from all angles......id cards and the like)freaks me out, but then there are good coppas too thankfully - its just something you wouldnt like to have to challenge.

    blimey life can be hard

    Report message24

  • Message 25

    , in reply to message 24.

    Posted by handsomefortune (U2927651) on Monday, 2nd June 2008

    >its just something you wouldnt like to have to challenge.<

    precisely love earth!

    i'm hoping that community policing will sharpen up slack slobs in the forces. i met some great comm police and it really cheered me up, especially after the other negative experience. i really felt relieved to chat with people with equal brain power baring in mind 'the law' are relatively powerful folk, making serious decisions. ;@.

    Report message25

  • Message 26

    , in reply to message 23.

    Posted by rockEnfieldian (U12171554) on Monday, 2nd June 2008

    Walk up right and with purpose and ignore thoses who would intimidate you, another sort of related tip Ladies keep a big coat in your car if you breakdown you will be kept warm and the bulky coat makes you appear less vaulnerable!

    Report message26

  • Message 27

    , in reply to message 20.

    Posted by billygoatgruff (U11135437) on Monday, 2nd June 2008

    Creepy, Loveearth. Verrrry creepy.

    I’ve had two bad experiences with creepy male neighbours in my building – one (middle aged unattractive gay man) did all the pitiful stuff to ingratiate himself, and despite my gut instincts that there was something very odd about him, I allowed him into my flat for a drink as he was “feeling low” and I felt the usual mistaken female obligation to be neighbourly.

    He subsequently became a real attention seeking nuisance, then started complaining that I wasn’t giving him enough attention and “didn’t care” about him. This blew up into full blown harassment, I had him banging and kicking my door demanding that I “talk things over with him”, then trying to block my getting through the door of my flat, then threats of physical violence. I ended up going to the police to complain under the Protection from Harassment Act and wouldn’t you know it, El Creepo was already known to them and had what they diplomatically referred to as “a history”.

    Just over a year later, another strange individual, German this time, knocked on my flat door brandishing a bottle of wine, suggesting that I come to his flat “to drink wine so that we can be good neighbours” (Strangely, no-one else in the building was invited…..). I politely declined on the grounds that after my earlier experience, I now preferred to have no contact whatsoever with male neighbours.

    He then took some secret photos of me, cut the heads off and stuck them on paper and drew images around them – me in an electric chair, me in a hangman’s noose, etc. He stuck these posters in his window. Obviously I was reluctant to go to the police again, as one is reluctant to appear to be an attention seeking, hysterical female. I didn’t need to though – after banging on my door late one night insisting that he could hear “sounds of people being tortured and murdered and things” in my flat, when I went on holiday he reported me to the police as “missing believed kidnapped and murdered”, claiming that he had heard sounds of a struggle etc in my flat before I “went missing”.

    As I am a lessee and these two men were shorthold tenants, I was able to have them evicted in the end but it was all very stressful. I’m afraid I don’t have any useful practical advice – you could simply ignore the innuendo but he’ll still get his sad kicks. You could confront him but he’ll get his kicks out of that, too. Please don’t pity him and get involved – the poster who said listen to your gut instinct is absolutely right. Is there any sort of harassment policy in your building? Anyone you could discuss this issue with? E.g. estate manager?

    Report message27

  • Message 28

    , in reply to message 27.

    Posted by loveearth (U9193504) on Thursday, 5th June 2008

    blimey jan, thats hideous......i spose all there is is relief from knowing what could have happened, and having escaped that and avoided that.......

    i will keep myself guarded, the annoying thing is that he has his windows open - ground floor - and sits hanging out of the window - i spose he will get the message even louder with me ignoring him.....and hes really sucked in one of the older women on the ground floor - i would never set foot in his place, or let him in mine - but this woman was in there with him. dont know if to warn her or not, or to say anything, maybe she even fancies him (thats just wrong - noooo), so i dont know if to just keep stum in order to protect myself from getting agro if she were to pass it on. and she has been rather loose lipped about my life explaining me to him on my behalf. which really grossed me out. that was the v first time i saw him, as they were all sat in the yard talking. i wont be hanging my smalls out there again.....oh no

    Report message28

  • Message 29

    , in reply to message 28.

    Posted by loveearth (U9193504) on Thursday, 5th June 2008

    if i get really creeped again, then i will speak to the landlord......it really is an uncomfortable situation. im just hoping it will fade and not be an issue

    Report message29

  • Message 30

    , in reply to message 29.

    Posted by flamethetruthwillout (U11171471) on Thursday, 5th June 2008

    It's ashame there are so many sad people out there really. I've also had trouble with neighbours. One guy thinks he's gods gift (even though he's in a realtionship) He came round to the neighbours to do some work for them and since then he acts as though he knows me, stopping his car when I'm walking ot the shops, knocking at the door at 10.30 at night. He says to me "Listen, if you want to talk, just let me know ok"? But I could substitute the word talk for something else. He is obseesssed with modelling, he told me I must meet his 4 year old daughter, as she's so pretty and that he'd taken her for a photo shoot for catalogue modelling, then he said why didn't I try to model for catalogues (!)

    I live in rural wales and welsh people give each other names relating to the work they do, or something which reminds them of who they are. I was telling another single mum about tihs creep, and she told me his nickname was "D**** wheeelbarrow", I thought the worst, but then she told me it was because of the way he holds his arms, just as though he was pushing a wheelbarrow, and it's absolutely true, now everytime I see him I can see an imaginary wheelbarrow infront of him, it's hilarious.

    There is another little creep who's nickname is "

    B**** **** off". I love these very graphic and descriptive welsh names, they certainly help to diffuse the situation, and let me know that the people in question already have a reputation.

    Report message30

  • Message 31

    , in reply to message 30.

    This posting has been hidden during moderation because it broke the House Rules in some way.

  • Message 32

    , in reply to message 31.

    Posted by floopowder (U4607613) on Thursday, 5th June 2008

    I remember being really creeped out once when I was in the supermarket with my eldest grandson, he would have been about three at the time. He is a good looking little boy, blonde, wavy hair and blue eyes. A chap walking into the supermarket, stopped and stood looking at my grandson in what could only be described as in a lascivious way, it made me feel quite sick. I couldn't get us out of there quick enough!

    Report message32

  • Message 33

    , in reply to message 32.

    Posted by loveearth (U9193504) on Friday, 6th June 2008

    yep plenty of inappropriate stuff goin on out there Flame, fancy coming round at that time of night, i actually pity the children of these people. no concept of boundaries, and people as sex objects, really quite offensive.

    Sarnia, i can remmember a few yrs ago, when i was in the town, and i had my hair up in pigs-as i call them (pig tails), and this really older bloke, walked round to see my face........i only realized that he was probly doing it to see how old i was, and when he realized i was 'old', he went away.......now if that was a normal encounter one would expect someone to say....oh i thought you were someone i knew......but no he was a creep......and seemed to be on the look out for young girls......gross.

    i think if it happend again, i would say a short expletive-off, not nice to do in front of your grandson, but we really shouldnt let these creeps get away with their lurid pass times.

    they send a shudder down your spine, the messages are certainly clear and its good to be able to put them in the right category as you get older and also to know that being an adult, theres no need to be scared of these people

    Report message33

  • Message 34

    , in reply to message 20.

    Posted by caissier (U7111922) on Friday, 6th June 2008

    I wonder if people see depictions of romantic encounters in TV and fim dramas and, in their loneliness, social ineptitude or frequently suggested male inability to sense the feelings of others, delude themselves that these are acceptable ways to get emotional and sexual gratification - for example, the Gold Blend Anthony Head/Sharon Maughan advert.

    The stories involving policemen are especially worrying given that they have some real power. Maybe they think women will automatically succumb instantly to a "man in uniform". Maybe that idea attracted them to policework.

    There are now a lot of people with various forms and degrees of mental illness living in the community in line with inclusivity policies. Autistic people, of course, who can be isolated, have difficulty knowing what is acceptable. When teaching I found this with students with mild learning difficulties who were very overtly sexual at times.

    I was once accosted by a woman in the street who asked for a favour, then asked if she could come home with me. I could see she was mentally ill but didn't want to hurt her feelings so took her home and gave her some tea - I was about 25 -and then she said she wanted sex. She was very persistant. I just talked to her for a while and then walked her to the station, but obviously she was very vulnerable to all kinds of ill-useage.

    Another time, while working up a long ladder, a man, grinning madly, climbed up behind me exposing himself, which was a tricky situation. As a man though, I didn't have the physical disavantage that women have to cope with.

    While it must be horrible for women to be subjected to this kind of treatment it may not be too necessary to be nasty. I have seen some very small women cow big hulking men by rolling their eyes, telling them not to be so silly, grow up, a go off and find a girl friend in the proper way - telling them off rather and embarassing them but avoiding agression or possible retaliation; a reality check to make them come to their senses. Ok - if you can do that, easy to give advice though.

    Unfortunately some men clearly and deliberately like to terify women in this emotionally invasive way while pretending some kind of romantic intention. They know what they are doing.

    Report message34

  • Message 35

    , in reply to message 34.

    Posted by Skylark (struggling to be more blythe and spirited) (U6629883) on Saturday, 7th June 2008

    cassier, that was a thought-provoking post.

    You say There are now a lot of people with various forms and degrees of mental illness living in the community in line with inclusivity policies. 

    Sadly, there is no community for them to live in. Just friendless, isolated, probably frightened people who have to somehow struggle on their own, and who really don't know how to behave towards other people.

    Report message35

  • Message 36

    , in reply to message 35.

    Posted by floopowder (U4607613) on Sunday, 8th June 2008

    Many years ago we lived in Kent when our children were young. I well remember the grotesque sight of an elderly woman who would parade around the village centre with a painted black face and clown like orange lips! No doubt the poor lady was mentally ill, but it never failed to freak me out!

    Report message36

  • Message 37

    , in reply to message 28.

    Posted by rudiroo (U7864026) on Monday, 9th June 2008

    Loveearth, you have my heartfelt sympathy. You must get rid of this deadbeat even if requires overkill. As Wolfbabylon suggested, get your dad/brother/other male relative or similar to tell this guy to eff off with menaces. Tell the local plod that you're scared to death, add a little weeping, wailing and rending of garments for maximum effect. Appearances and being reasonable be damned - scare him off. I speak from experience.

    Report message37

  • Message 38

    , in reply to message 37.

    Posted by loveearth (U9193504) on Monday, 9th June 2008

    its hard to know what to do really.....im sure harmless in most ways....but still uncomfortable.....he sits outside with the other older women and i have to pass them.....and i must say it does put me off leaving with them there.....it means every day is an even bigger challege, because i get all irritated before leaving.....they could sit in the yard to the side of the flats, but that would be too out of the way for him.....i cant help but be creeped out

    each day as it comes

    i dunno

    Report message38

  • Message 39

    , in reply to message 38.

    Posted by Skylark (struggling to be more blythe and spirited) (U6629883) on Monday, 9th June 2008

    The kind of warnings suggested by rudiroo could lead to this "harmless" character turning really nasty. Unspeakable things through letterboxes, eggs thrown at windows - and of course you will never be able to identify the culprit.

    A friend of mine - a mild mannered, middle aged woman, consulted the police over a problem she is having with a neighbour and has since received death threats.

    Report message39

  • Message 40

    , in reply to message 1.

    Posted by Not_Using_Amplex (U11459753) on Monday, 9th June 2008

    I wouldn’t bother with the softly-softly attitude and I certainly wouldn’t waste time being understanding to him. Of course he knows you don’t find him attractive and of course he knows he’s frightening you. That’s what he enjoys. It gives him power. As long as it works, he’ll continue.
    Have you got any 16-hole steel toe-capped Dr. Martens? Wear them. Stand accordingly – stand toughly and aggressively. Next time he looks at you or speaks to you, look at him with utter contempt and say, “Listen creepo, you make me sick, when I bother to notice you at all. Speak to me again, look at me just once, come within 5 yards of me, and I’ll pull your ___ing liver up through your mucky mouth and fry it for the dog*. Now ___ off.” And make sure you perfect the sneer.
    *or cat, or breakfast.
    Important - make sure you do this in front of witnesses. Could be a friend, one of the other women, anyone, as long as there's someone else there. This is mainly because you probably wouldn't be able to do it with conviction if you were alone with him.

    Report message40

  • Message 41

    , in reply to message 39.

    Posted by Not_Using_Amplex (U11459753) on Monday, 9th June 2008

    "The kind of warnings suggested by rudiroo could lead to this "harmless" character turning really nasty. Unspeakable things through letterboxes, eggs thrown at windows - and of course you will never be able to identify the culprit.

    A friend of mine - a mild mannered, middle aged woman, consulted the police over a problem she is having with a neighbour and has since received death threats."

    Yes, because she's mild-mannered, etc. and because she went to the police but didn't get tough directly. I've been on my own for 25 years, travelled a lot and alone, used to attract those types constantly, till I got tough. Now they don't come near me.

    Of course, that's just my opinion and experince.

    Report message41

  • Message 42

    , in reply to message 41.

    Posted by loveearth (U9193504) on Tuesday, 10th June 2008

    i get where your coming from Fey, and his time will come......

    i understand peoples views on both sides, and it seems that most folk would say deal direct as being the best, which does tend to be my style, even tho it takes alot of effort and balls eh

    like i say.....his time will come when/if he is provocative again in a sleazy way

    thankyou all x

    Report message42

  • Message 43

    , in reply to message 41.

    Posted by rudiroo (U7864026) on Friday, 13th June 2008

    I agree Fey. But I would still retaliate, probably because I have family & friends who would back me up, if push came to shove. I just don't like bullies. Had quite enough of that when I was a child, thank you.

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