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Anna Clare's Crash Course in Writing

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  • Message 1. 

    Posted by Anna Clare (U14863644) on Tuesday, 30th August 2011

    Hey everyone :D

    English Host suggested, because I've spent the whole summer on here, that I share a few of the tips I've learned with you guys. I decided she was right, so here are a few bits of advice I'd like to give everyone.

    1. Write when inspiration strikes. I find that if I've got an eureka moment that I work a lot better than when I'm forced to.

    2. Sometimes you don't have to write what you know. Sometimes it's possible to write about stuff beyond anything you've experienced. I mean, clearly I haven't been in al the situations my character have - my parent's have never disappeared in the middle of the night, my Mum's never fallen into a coma, and the only boyfriend I had was in Year 4 and we never even went on a date - but if I put myself in their place, I can often imagine what I'd be feeling if I was them.

    3. Openings are one of the most important things when it comes to writing. They decide whether a reader carries on with a story, or puts it back on the shelf. The best opening will capture the readers attention so that they are desperate to continue. There are many ways to do this.

    One way is a bold opening sentence, like: The morning Daniella Harrison woke up, she knew she was going to die. This immediately grabs the audiences attention.

    Another is to have a prologue. These often give mystery to the reader to lure them on. The best one I've read so far is the Confessions of a teenage Drama Queen, where the prologue ends with: This is my story. It starts with the end of the world. Want to read on, huh?

    3. Description is key, but don't go on overload. It's really important to describe things in a story - then the reader can imagine what you are imagining - but sometimes all you need is a little illustration instead of a lot.

    A little too much description:

    The trees wailed desperately as Mandy Hudson strode briskly through the creepy, haunted woods.

    Good amount of description:

    The trees wailed as Mandy Hudson strode through the haunted woods.

    See?

    4. When a new character speaks, start a new paragraph. ALWAYS.

    I'll leave it at those four tips for now. I may put on some later. If anyone else has any tips to add, please post them below :D

    Report message1

  • Message 2

    , in reply to message 1.

    Posted by Snowflake (U14897211) on Tuesday, 30th August 2011

    You see, If you follow all those things you'll be as good as Anna Clare when she writes!!

    Anna Clare, I think you've covered everything x x x thankyou for all the great advice too :D

    Report message2

  • Message 3

    , in reply to message 2.

    Posted by Kittykat (U14877346) on Tuesday, 30th August 2011

    Thank You For The Advice! smiley - biggrin

    Report message3

  • Message 4

    , in reply to message 2.

    Posted by Anna Clare (U14863644) on Tuesday, 30th August 2011

    You see, If you follow all those things you'll be as good as Anna Clare when she writes!!

    Anna Clare, I think you've covered everything x x x thankyou for all the great advice too :D 
    No, thank you :D

    Report message4

  • Message 5

    , in reply to message 2.

    Posted by Love is All That I Need (U14855037) on Tuesday, 30th August 2011

    I totally agree with Anna Clare and U14897211 if you do those things you will be perfect smiley - biggrin

    Report message5

  • Message 6

    , in reply to message 4.

    Posted by Snowflake (U14897211) on Tuesday, 30th August 2011

    No, no, no NO, thank you x x x x x :P

    Report message6

  • Message 7

    , in reply to message 1.

    Posted by Anna Clare (U14863644) on Tuesday, 30th August 2011

    Thanks everyone :D So should I put up any more?

    Report message7

  • Message 8

    , in reply to message 7.

    Posted by girlbrainbox (U13839387) on Tuesday, 30th August 2011

    Anna Clare, thank you for the advice! ;D
    I <3 your stories. They're always superb!

    Jess xxx

    Report message8

  • Message 9

    , in reply to message 7.

    Posted by Pickle Plum (U14961636) on Tuesday, 30th August 2011

    Great advice! I'm going to keep it in mind when writing. And yeah, put up more! :D

    Report message9

  • Message 10

    , in reply to message 1.

    Posted by Anna Clare (U14863644) on Tuesday, 30th August 2011

    Thanks for all the positive feedback. Here are a few more pointers. :D

    B.T.W, I'm sorry this is so long, but it's not actually as large as it looks - brownie promise.

    5. Check through your work. It doesn't have to take more than a minute, but if you look back through a small segment of work after you've written it, you can pick out any small spelling mistakes or grammar errors. That's one I need to do a bit more too. :D

    6. Sometimes the key thing is to reedit, reedit, and then reedit again. If a sentence doesn't look right - which I often notice - then change it. It's simple as. Often I look back on something and find a better way to explain what I was trying to say. All books you see in stores have been redrafted countless numbers of times, so sometimes it's just a matter of looking back and changing.

    7. Speech. When writing speech, there are just a few things you need to remember to make it perfect. I'll do an example.

    Missing Grammar in speech:

    "good morning" Cindy said.

    With grammar included:

    "Good morning," Cindy said.

    See the difference? Also, there are more words you can use to describe how someone said something.

    Using said:

    "Come on, let's get out of here!" Harry said.

    Using a more descriptive and interesting word:

    "Come on, let's get out of here!" Harry hissed/ hinted/ snarled/ bellowed - take your pick :D

    I may do more on speech later.

    8. A wide range of grammar is really important. In exams they mark you on your use of grammar. I actually looked this up because I thought it was quite interesting, and found out the KS3 English mark scheme from 2003. I'd just skim through this if I were you :D

    0 marks: full stops and, sometimes, commas.

    1 or 2 marks: sentences normally include other punctuation apart from full stops, such as speech marks or, the fancier word for them, inverted commas. I'm learning something new every day :D

    3 or 4 marks: some use of a range of punctuation, such as fully gramatized sentences - if you need help with that, look above :D

    5 or 6 marks: Range of punctuation used to mark structure of sentences and give clarity - basically, help sentence structure (I'll talk about that some other time) and make your sentences clearer.

    7 marks: Really great punctuation with punctuation such as semi colons, e.t.c

    8 marks (top of the range): Wide range of punctuation used to enhance meaning and create particular effects.

    I'm going to say a lot more on how you can fit in punctuation on my next post, but I think this is long enough as it is, so for now - goodbye :D

    Report message10

  • Message 11

    , in reply to message 10.

    Posted by LaUgHiNg_BaBeX (U14971748) on Tuesday, 30th August 2011

    Great Tips smiley - smiley

    Tip 3... Daniella! That's my name :D

    Report message11

  • Message 12

    , in reply to message 11.

    This posting has been hidden during moderation because it broke the House Rules in some way.

  • Message 13

    , in reply to message 11.

    Posted by ILikeCherryPiesOnTuesdays (U14836603) on Tuesday, 30th August 2011

    Amazing as usual, Anna.

    Yay Daniella! You got your account back!

    Report message13

  • Message 14

    , in reply to message 13.

    Posted by English Host (U1934188) on Wednesday, 31st August 2011

    Anna Clare - I am SO happy you decided to take up my challenge! Do you find that writing down your tips actually solidifies some of them in your mind? I often find it's the case - that I hadn't actively thought about a concept until I tried to put it into writing, and suddenly it just seems obvious!

    Well done. This is a fantastic thread.

  • Message 15

    , in reply to message 14.

    Posted by Anna Clare (U14863644) on Wednesday, 31st August 2011

    Thanks for all the positive comments :D

    English Host - I guess it does kind of help me remember them. Especially stuff about checking twice, which recently I've been getting lazy at.

    Okay, here are some more tips. I think this post will mainly be about punctuation.

    8 part 2. So not only is grammar important in stories, but in exam papers as well. So here are a few pointers on what type of punctuation you should use to get full marks, and where you should use it.

    One thing to remember is that you can still use basic punctuation such as full stops and commas. Using a wide range of punctuation doesn't mean not using commas, it just means including other punctuation in your work.

    Okay, I'm going to try and explain where to use the top punctuation in a piece of work.

    Colons:

    I struggle with colons, but after countless minutes of research, I'm going to try and explain them.

    Colons can be used in many ways. One is introducing an idea. Eg: John realized there was only one thing to do: he was going to have to revise for the test. You can also use them before a quote. Eg. A famous quote from a Shakespearian play: 'to be, or not to be.' Another is introducing a list. Eg: The recipe included some odd ingredients: egg shells, washing up powder and broken glass.

    PLEASE DO NOT TRY THAT RECIPE AT HOME. :D

    Dashes:

    Dashes can be used instead of commas. Eg. I went to the shop yesterday - it was a fun trip. They can also be used in dates - e.g, Jane May, daughter, wife and mother, lived between 1902 - 1999. They can also sometimes be used to abruptly end a line of speech. E.g: "You know, I think we should-"

    I'm going to end with... ellipses.

    Ellipses are generally used to leave something on a cliff hanger, say, at the end of a chapter or book. E.g, And that's when she realized the gun was still in his hand... They can also be used to trail off speech. E.g: "I mean, after Harry left..."

    I'm going to finish now. I have a bad feeling I may have left out semi colons, but if I do anymore I'm going to bore you all out of your minds. I promise next time I'll do something more interesting.

    You know, writing these I feel like an English teacher. It's kind of fun. Maybe I will be an English teacher...

    Report message15

  • Message 16

    , in reply to message 15.

    Posted by ILikeCherryPiesOnTuesdays (U14836603) on Wednesday, 31st August 2011

    Thanks for all the positive comments :D

    English Host - I guess it does kind of help me remember them. Especially stuff about checking twice, which recently I've been getting lazy at.

    Okay, here are some more tips. I think this post will mainly be about punctuation.

    8 part 2. So not only is grammar important in stories, but in exam papers as well. So here are a few pointers on what type of punctuation you should use to get full marks, and where you should use it.

    One thing to remember is that you can still use basic punctuation such as full stops and commas. Using a wide range of punctuation doesn't mean not using commas, it just means including other punctuation in your work.

    Okay, I'm going to try and explain where to use the top punctuation in a piece of work.

    Colons:

    I struggle with colons, but after countless minutes of research, I'm going to try and explain them.

    Colons can be used in many ways. One is introducing an idea. Eg: John realized there was only one thing to do: he was going to have to revise for the test. You can also use them before a quote. Eg. A famous quote from a Shakespearian play: 'to be, or not to be.' Another is introducing a list. Eg: The recipe included some odd ingredients: egg shells, washing up powder and broken glass.

    PLEASE DO NOT TRY THAT RECIPE AT HOME. :D

    Dashes:

    Dashes can be used instead of commas. Eg. I went to the shop yesterday - it was a fun trip. They can also be used in dates - e.g, Jane May, daughter, wife and mother, lived between 1902 - 1999. They can also sometimes be used to abruptly end a line of speech. E.g: "You know, I think we should-"

    I'm going to end with... ellipses.

    Ellipses are generally used to leave something on a cliff hanger, say, at the end of a chapter or book. E.g, And that's when she realized the gun was still in his hand... They can also be used to trail off speech. E.g: "I mean, after Harry left..."

    I'm going to finish now. I have a bad feeling I may have left out semi colons, but if I do anymore I'm going to bore you all out of your minds. I promise next time I'll do something more interesting.

    You know, writing these I feel like an English teacher. It's kind of fun. Maybe I will be an English teacher... 
    Like I said, you gotta love Anna Clare x

    Report message16

  • Message 17

    , in reply to message 16.

    Posted by Anna Clare (U14863644) on Wednesday, 31st August 2011

    Thanks Yaz :D

    9. Read. It's one of the most important things about writing. you can't write if you don't read. It doesn't matter what it is you read. It can be the stories on here, it can be any children's book, any classic, anything that interests you really. It helps you self consciously pick up notes on how the author writes, which can then transpire into your own work.

    10. In a story, don't introduce too many characters at once. I find it's best if characters enter into a story at a natural pace. This gives readers a chance to learn about and then remember characters.

    11. When it comes to describing characters, it's often better not to launch into lengthy detail about their appearance, but gradually let it sink into the story.

    Eg: She pushed a lock of her golden hair behind her ear - or - She hitched her old fashioned glasses off of her nose.

    These sort of sentences give the reader an image of what the character looks like, without boring them to death with details.

    12. Endings. Endings are a massive part of writing. What is a story without an ending? The best ones wrap up any loose ends, and leave the reader satisfied, which is my example 1. Another good way to finish is on a cliff hanger - which is my example 2. These usually imply that there is going to be a sequel, and they leave the reader wanting to read on.

    Example 1

    "So thats why the body was in the closet!" I sighed a breath of relief.

    "Yes." Robert flashed me his ever so familiar smile. "You know, Olivia, I think I might just love you."

    My heart somersaulted in my chest. "I love you too, Robert."

    "Oh, Olivia." Robert pulled me into a hug. "We're going to be together forever."

    Example 2

    "So thats why the body was in the closet!" I sighed a breath of relief.

    "Yes." Robert flashed me his ever so familiar smile. "You know, Olivia, I-"

    "Wait," I interrupted him. "Then what was the body under the stairs."

    "What body?" Robert's face immediately tensed. "There's no body."

    "Yes, there is," I insisted. "Under the stairs."

    "Oh. Well, I can explain that. You see..."

    And that's when he pulled out the gun...

    Okay, that's it for now. Goodbye! :D

    Report message17

  • Message 18

    , in reply to message 1.

    Posted by aishah (U15015937) on Wednesday, 26th October 2011

    Thanks for ur suggestion i'm new to this can u help me smiley - smiley

    Report message18

  • Message 19

    , in reply to message 17.

    Posted by Anna Clare (U14863644) on Wednesday, 26th October 2011

    Hi Aishah; welcome to the messageboards! I'd be happy to help in whatever way I can is there anything in particular you need hep with?

    Today I'm just going to cover one of the most important things in Story Writing:

    13. Characters

    Characters. These are key in a story. Without them, there wouldn't even be a story. They make the decisions in the story; they CONTROL the story.

    The best characters have strengths and weaknesses that normally balance out each other. Example: the character may be beautiful, however she may be an idiot as well. Or the character may be the most popular girl in school, but have a terrible home life. If you do this, your characters become a little more relatable as everyone has flaws, and ultimately, a lot more realistic.

    However, there are a lot of professional authors who DON'T put flaws into their characters. These are what as known as Mary Sue's.

    A Mary Sue - in writing terms - is, simply put, a perfect character; someone with no major flaws. An good example of this is Harry Potter. You may not have realized this, but Harry Potter has very few flaws. He has stack loads of money, he is the 'chosen one,' and probably the most popular out of all the characters. He saves the day every time. This doesn't mean I don't like Harry Potter; I love him, I've read all the books. And in some cases I believe there is a place for perfect characters, i.e, in PeaceGirl's story - Facebook - My story - I like the use of the perfect character it's then revealed, later in the story, that this girl DOES have flaws. But for most stories, I think it's just better to stick to more balanced characters.

    On the other end, though, there is another type of character that I have grown to dislike a little. This is the character who has nothing but flaws. The character who is ugly, not particularly smart, and a loner. These characters can be almost as aggravating as although they are a little more down to Earth, they can be be unrealistic in the fact that there is NOTHING good about them what so ever. Again, in some cases these sort of characters can be used, i.e: if your character starts out thinking that there's nothing attractive about themselves, then realizes that there is something he/she is great at. But otherwise, it's better not to use these sort of characters.

    I'm going to stop here before I bore you all to death. :D BYE!

    Report message19

  • Message 20

    , in reply to message 19.

    Posted by RedVioletPartyChipmunk (U14966489) on Wednesday, 26th October 2011

    Ive just real ALL of that and thank you for sharing it with us!!! And Yaz is right, you cant help but love you! x

    Gizmo<3 xx

    Report message20

  • Message 21

    , in reply to message 20.

    Posted by Anna Clare (U14863644) on Wednesday, 26th October 2011

    You read ALL of it! Wow! I'm impressed.

    And thank you :D

    Report message21

  • Message 22

    , in reply to message 21.

    Posted by RedVioletPartyChipmunk (U14966489) on Wednesday, 26th October 2011

    Yupp! And I ate a whole pack of cookies while doing it... XD!

    Welcome!

    Gizmo<3 xoxoxo

    Report message22

  • Message 23

    , in reply to message 22.

    Posted by Anna Clare (U14863644) on Wednesday, 26th October 2011

    Ha :D

    Report message23

  • Message 24

    , in reply to message 23.

    Posted by RedVioletPartyChipmunk (U14966489) on Wednesday, 26th October 2011

    XD!

    Gizmo<3 xoxoxox

    Report message24

  • Message 25

    , in reply to message 23.

    Posted by RedVioletPartyChipmunk (U14966489) on Wednesday, 26th October 2011

    XD! xx

    Gizmo <3 xoxox

    Report message25

  • Message 26

    , in reply to message 8.

    Posted by U15020414 (U15020414) on Saturday, 29th October 2011

    I agree totally- thanks Anna Clare

    Report message26

  • Message 27

    , in reply to message 7.

    Posted by U15020414 (U15020414) on Saturday, 29th October 2011

    I really think you should put some more up!
    Your tips are great- I got an A+ in my english essay because of this superb 'Crash Course'.

    Report message27

  • Message 28

    , in reply to message 27.

    Posted by Anna Clare (U14863644) on Sunday, 30th October 2011

    Well done! And thank you, but I'm sure that that A+ wasn't all down to me. :D

    Report message28

  • Message 29

    , in reply to message 19.

    Posted by Anna Clare (U14863644) on Sunday, 30th October 2011

    Thanks so much everyone who's replied. It really means a lot :D

    14. Openings

    I know I covered this briefly, but I think I'd like to spend some more time on them as they decide whether the reader reads on or puts the book down.

    There are so many different types of effective openings you can use. But before I go onto that, I'm going to start with an opening that, to me personally, puts me off reading a story completely.

    Example 1:

    My name is Emerald Perfect and I'm the most popular girl in school. I have beautiful long blonde hair and perfect blue eyes like the ocean. My best friend is Amelia Nearly-as-perfect-as-I-am. She is the second most popular girl in school. She has shiny black hair and deep brown eyes...

    In that short paragraph alone I have been completely put off reading the rest of the story. The story may've been great, but I'll now never know.

    There are two main problems with this opening. Firstly, the opening is very predictable. The plot may actually be very interesting, but if the opening sounds boring, not many people will bother to read it. Secondly, the list of details about how the girls look becomes very boring very quickly. Subtly adding short amounts of detail is perfectly okay, but too much can really put people off a story.

    However, if the opening was altered even a small bit, it could be so much more effective. Here's just one example of how this could've been written to attract more attention, and not bore the reader to death with details.

    Example 1:

    "Emerald!"

    I spun on my heel. My best friend, Amelia, was running to catch up with me - her black hair coming loose of her pony tail. "Emerald - wait up!"

    "Sorry," I grinned. "I didn't realize you were coming."

    Amelia sighed. "Just because you're now the most popular girl in school doesn't give you the right to forget about your true friends."

    So lessons we've learnt today.

    1. An opening decides if a reader reads your story or not. So for that reason, your opening is probably the most important part of your story.

    2. Don't make the opening predictable and/or common. Make sure your story has an opening that stands out from the crowd and makes people want to read on.

    3. Don't bore your readers to death with detail about how your characters look. A little bit is acceptable, but anymore and you put your readers to sleep.

    4. DON'T, and I mean DON'T give away all the plot in the first paragraph.

    Hope that helped and that I haven't put you to sleep :D

    Report message29

  • Message 30

    , in reply to message 29.

    Posted by Snowflake (U14897211) on Sunday, 30th October 2011

    This is really helpful too my story opening challenge Anna Clare thanks!!! x x

    Report message30

  • Message 31

    , in reply to message 30.

    Posted by Anna Clare (U14863644) on Sunday, 30th October 2011

    This is really helpful too my story opening challenge Anna Clare thanks!!! x x
     
    Well I'm very happy to help :D

    Report message31

  • Message 32

    , in reply to message 31.

    Posted by English Host (U1934188) on Monday, 31st October 2011

    Can I just say I'm loving this thread Anna Clare!

  • Message 33

    , in reply to message 29.

    Posted by Anna Clare (U14863644) on Monday, 31st October 2011

    Aw, thanks English Host :D

    Oh my gosh, I am so embarrassed. My Dad found this thread, and went and emailed my teacher; telling her that the BBC moderator had personally requested for me to write a blog on the BBC website. This email was promptly forwarded on to my head master. Now everybody thinks that the BBC has personally tracked me down to write a blog for them :D

    Report message33

  • Message 34

    , in reply to message 33.

    Posted by English Host (U1934188) on Tuesday, 1st November 2011

    Tee hee - I am, of course, not a moderator - I'm just a host! And it was really just that you spent so much time on the board over the summer I thought it would be a good idea to share some of what you'd learnt with us! But it shows your dad's proud of you and that's never a bad thing...

  • Message 35

    , in reply to message 34.

    Posted by U15003097 (U15003097) on Tuesday, 1st November 2011

    wow thanks anna clare you rock like a rock ( good thing B.T.W dont worry)

    Report message35

  • Message 36

    , in reply to message 35.

    Posted by Kitti-Kat (U14950097) on Tuesday, 1st November 2011

    Anna Clare you're awesome smiley - smiley

    Love Yasmin xx <3

    Report message36

  • Message 37

    , in reply to message 29.

    Posted by Anna Clare (U14863644) on Tuesday, 1st November 2011

    Thanks everyone so much :D By the way, before I start, this lesson will be interactive which means that the end I will be asking questions :D

    15. Twists in stories

    I don't think I've ever read any story that hasn't had a twist in it; even if it was just a small one. Carried out properly, a twist is the part of the story that leaves the reader shocked and desperate to read more.

    The most common twists are when: something major is revealed about one of the main characters; a main character goes missing/ runs away from home/ dies; a main character is proposed to or finds out that they're pregnant; somebody is murdered.

    Executed well, these leave the readers on the edge of their seats. However, executed badly, they may lead the reader to promptly stop reading the story.

    Okay, now I really want to try something new. I'm going to put up three examples of twists at the same point in a romantic/real life story, and I'd like you to tell me which twist is better, why, and why the other one's weren't as good. Gosh, I sound like an English teacher :D

    Example 1:

    "Suzy, I've got something to tell you."

    Suzy looked up from her magazine. "Go on."

    Henry gulped. This was going to be hard. He'd been planning this for a long time but he'd never realized what it would really be like when it happened. He swallowed one more time, and then began...

    "Suzy, I'm not who you think I am. I'm a vampire. In fact I'm more than that. I'm a werewolf too. But that doesn't change the fact that I love you. Oh, one more thing, my names actually Robert. And will you marry me?"

    ---

    Example 2:

    "Suzy, I've got something to tell you."

    Suzy looked up from her magazine. "Go on."

    Henry gulped. This was going to be hard. He'd been planning this for a long time but he'd never realized what it would really be like when it happened. He swallowed one more time, and then began...

    "Suzy, I love you. More than anything. And I know, I just know, that you're the one I want to spend my life with." Henry knelt down onto the ground. Fumbling with his trembling hands, Henry reached into his trouser pocket to produce a ring. The ring he'd spent two years saving up for now. The ring that he hoped would sit on Suzy's finger for the rest of her life. "Suzy Elizabeth Barker, will you marry me?"

    ---

    Example 3:

    "Suzy, I've got something to tell you."

    Suzy looked up from her magazine. "Go on."

    Henry gulped. This was going to be hard. He'd been planning this for a long time but he'd never realized what it would really be like when it happened. He swallowed one more time, and then began...

    "Suzy, I'm an alien from Jupiter and you are coming back with me to my home planet." With that, Henry took Suzy's hand, led her out to his spaceship that was hovering in their back garden, and took her inside..."

    ---

    Please reply with your answers. I'll be very interested to hear what people say :D

    To be continued...

    Report message37

  • Message 38

    , in reply to message 37.

    Posted by Snowflake (U14897211) on Tuesday, 1st November 2011

    I think example 2 is my preferred one out of the three. This is because I'm not really in to all the fantasy themes - I like real life not made up myths or spooky tales.

    I'm not saying the other two were bad, it's just in my opinion it's number 2!

    Also, in example 1 it's vert fast when Henry speaks and maybe a little too fast - or if it's because he's worried, that might be why he's rushing when he's saying it if so, maybe it should explain more on his feelings?? And what he is doing when he's saying it?

    But what do I know?!

    Report message38

  • Message 39

    , in reply to message 38.

    Posted by Anna Clare (U14863644) on Wednesday, 2nd November 2011

    You know a lot more than you give yourself credit for, U14897211.

    Any other answers before I put up my next section?

    Report message39

  • Message 40

    , in reply to message 37.

    Posted by Pickle Plum (U14961636) on Wednesday, 2nd November 2011

    Example 1 seems a bit too much - a vampire, a werewolf AND his name's actually Robert. That is waaay over the top.

    Example 3 is just... hilarious!

    And that's why I agree with U14897211. The 2nd one definitely has the best twist because it's the most realistic.

    Report message40

  • Message 41

    , in reply to message 38.

    Posted by Anna Clare (U14863644) on Wednesday, 2nd November 2011

    Thanks U14897211 and Pickle Plum for replying :D

    15. Twists in stories continued...

    I am so very glad that you said that example 2 was the better twist otherwise I may've just had to shoot myself.

    Before I look at example 2 and explain why it made a better twist, I'm going to firstly analyse examples 1 and 3 and explain why they WEREN'T great twists.

    The main problem with example 1 was that, as both U14897211 and Pickle Plum said, it was very rushed, and just too much to take in. This made it very hard for the reader to read and take in, because instead of being shocked by just revelation, they were being bombarded by many new confessions at the same time they didn't quite know what to focus on.

    This could easily be fixed by just scaling down the twist. Maybe you could just pick one twist, such as being a vampire. This means you have more time to write about the idea of being a vampire. and don't shock the reader with too many new ideas to take in at once.

    Fixed version of Example 1:

    "Suzy, I've got something to tell you."

    Suzy looked up from her magazine. "Go on."

    Henry gulped. This was going to be hard. He'd been planning this for a long time but he'd never realized what it would really be like when it happened. He swallowed one more time, and then began...

    "Suzy, I'm sorry, but I'm not who you think I am. I'm - I'm a vampire. This doesn't change the fact that I love you though." Henry was starting to sweat now. The way Suzy was staring at him, it - it made him, what was the word: nervous. Did she still love him? "You'll always be my true love," Henry rushed desperately. "And I'm still the same guy you fell in love with. I'm sorry I didn't tell you before I just - I thought you wouldn't love me anymore..."

    See the difference?

    The main error with example 3 was that the twist just didn't fall within the genre the story was written in. The story these twists were written for was a romance, and the twist really didn't work with the story. There's no harm in having a twist that changes the direction of the story, but again the twist was just too extreme to be taken seriously.

    This could've easily been fixed by making sure that the twist you're preparing really works with the type of story you've been writing. For example, if you're writing a real life story about love and friendship, then I'd advice that you don't then create a twist half way through where the main character gets murdered and it turns into a murder investigation.

    Example 2 was written by me as the better of the three twists. I tried to make sure that it wasn't rushed, wasn't excessive, and worked with the genre of romance. I tried to make it so that it was easy for the reader to read, and obvious what the reader should be focused on.

    So things we've learnt today class are:

    - Make sure that the twist is not overly excessive and that the reader is not overwhelmed with too many revelations at once.

    - Be sure that the twist you're working on goes with the story you're writing.

    - Don't rush the twist. Take it at your own pace and make sure the reader has time to let it sink in.

    Hope this has helped and thank you for reading :D

    Report message41

  • Message 42

    , in reply to message 41.

    Posted by U14915870 (U14915870) on Friday, 11th November 2011

    Hi guys my name is Hassan and i want you to answer this question about the tempest for shakespear's play. The question is how is prospero presented in act 1 scene 2 and act 5 scene 1 ? can you please answer this question as soon as possible thank you.

    Report message42

  • Message 43

    , in reply to message 42.

    Posted by Anna Clare (U14863644) on Friday, 11th November 2011

    Hi Hassen.

    I myself haven't actually read the full play of The Tempest; I think it comes up later on the curriculum for me. So I can't fully analyze the text as I don't have a copy myself. However, I have read a basic version of the plot, and had a look into it, so here are my thoughts:

    From what I've read, I'd say that in Act 1, scene 2, Prospero is presented as a very powerful character, the magician who rules over everything and everyone but possibly still a little jealous and bitter about his brother, Antonio. However, in act 5, scene 1, it is clear that Prospero has been changed for the better by his love for Miranda, and it seems that he has become his better person for it as he gives up his magic.

    These are just basic ideas, and because, as I said, not fully analyzed and need to be expanded. My tips for you are to analyze the text properly, looking carefully at how Shakespeare describes Prospero in both scenes. Look carefully at the emotions of the characters, and see how he portrays them.

    I hope I've been some help to you and good luck!

    Report message43

  • Message 44

    , in reply to message 43.

    Posted by U14870313 (U14870313) on Saturday, 12th November 2011

    This has been really interesting Anna Clare (BTW love your work smiley - smiley )

    Please do some more soon!


    Cat
    xxxx

    Report message44

  • Message 45

    , in reply to message 44.

    Posted by Kitti-Kat (U14950097) on Saturday, 12th November 2011

    This really helps Anna Clare, thank you!

    I often struggle putting characters in stories and describe them without putting too much or too little - most of the time I mess up with openings too!

    Yasmin xxx

    Report message45

  • Message 46

    , in reply to message 45.

    Posted by smart art x (U14987857) on Saturday, 12th November 2011

    This has really helped! Thank you sooo much Anna Clare your the best. I have used this in my exam and got a 7a ! smiley - smiley You deserve a star for helping us write brilliantly smiley - star

    Report message46

  • Message 47

    , in reply to message 45.

    Posted by Anna Clare (U14863644) on Saturday, 12th November 2011

    Thank you so, so, so, so, so much Cat and Yasmin. You are both so sweet. I'll put some more tips up soon.

    Report message47

  • Message 48

    , in reply to message 46.

    Posted by Anna Clare (U14863644) on Saturday, 12th November 2011

    This has really helped! Thank you sooo much Anna Clare your the best. I have used this in my exam and got a 7a ! smiley - smiley You deserve a star for helping us write brilliantly smiley - star  Thank you! And really well done for getting a 7a!

    Report message48

  • Message 49

    , in reply to message 48.

    Posted by Daydreamer (U15031102) on Saturday, 12th November 2011

    Hey Anna Claire, I was wondering when you'd add more to our joint story?
    Please add more, as your part was brill!

    Report message49

  • Message 50

    , in reply to message 47.

    Posted by Kitti-Kat (U14950097) on Saturday, 12th November 2011

    No, no, no thank YOU Anna Clare smiley - smiley

    Report message50

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