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Messages: 51 - 97 of 97
  • Message 51

    , in reply to message 50.

    Posted by U4299637 (U4299637) on Monday, 31st July 2006

    This one of course!


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  • Message 52

    , in reply to message 50.

    Posted by Rhoda Dendron (U2176380) on Monday, 31st July 2006

    It was a long long time ago Wombat, when the Daleks were first around and couldn't get down stairs or anything. Actually I seem to remember being more interested in a doughnut making machine as we got free doughnuts. In those days no home was complete without a dalek!

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  • Message 53

    , in reply to message 49.

    Posted by 1stClassAlan (U2459016) on Monday, 31st July 2006

    Ah yes Gartenmeister, the "man" in the Thing suit was James Arness in one movie - remember him? He played Marshall Matt Dillion in "Gunsmoke" for many a year amongst other stuff to pay the rent.

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  • Message 54

    , in reply to message 48.

    Posted by 1stClassAlan (U2459016) on Monday, 31st July 2006

    Hi Rhoda - that's O.K. - thought I had you perplexed getting all heavy in a gardening thread!

    Some of these SciFi stories are quite entertaining even with the faults but when you are creating not only your own scenarios but also your own planets and technology much of the time - I really do think the writers should do better. Alien was good and the best thing since The Forbidden Planet - made in 1959! But that makes the huge boo-boo of not predicting solid state electronics and has relay contacts opening and closing! 2001 has spacemen walking about in the memory bank of a mainframe (HAL) computer, where these days a bargain basement laptop could outperform it.

    If you were frightened by Johnny Morris spare a thought for the nine foot python George Cansdales put round my neck at the Boy & Girls exhibition - many years later I met his son who runs a B&B - his wife is an official army artist.

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  • Message 55

    , in reply to message 53.

    Posted by U4299637 (U4299637) on Monday, 31st July 2006

    Hi Alan,

    I'm not old enough for Gunsmoke I'm afraid smiley - winkeye I'm the 'introduced to Star Wars from a jumble sale' generation... I've never gotten into Westerns, but I'd wouldn't mind seeing Westworld. What's you expert opinion on that?

    Now I'm remembering loads of childhood experiences about Sci-Fi... I used to visit Central London a lot as a lad, and got an early tube on a Saturday into town with my brother. The Beeb was filming a documentary and had Daleks rolling around on the Embankment by Jubilee Gardens with the Palace of Westminster in the background. What fun! We stood and watched for a while in amazement; I guess it was about the time of the 90s 'revival'.

    Re: 'gardening'(!) I had a lecture from a 'Posh Geordie' (if that's not an oxymoron, MikeyToon'll probably say there not soft enough to be 'posh' smiley - winkeye ) who had been part of the Biosphere II project. He said they had huge problems with ants and they couldn't do anything about it. I've never seen anyone lecture with the bamboo 'pointing stick' in his hand all the time. As it was about 2m, he had almost a 'tribal' strut as he paced in front of the slides. It made me think of the apes in 2001 waving the bones about at the time... Too much Sci-Fi as a kid? smiley - erm


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  • Message 56

    , in reply to message 55.

    Posted by mr naughty corner (U2456974) on Tuesday, 1st August 2006

    So, what about that star trek film with the "genesis programme"(i think) that not only brought a desert planet to life but also brought Spock back. I think. Or it might have been "Jocky" or whatever the engineer was called. I can't remember, but he looked like a darts player.
    Anyway, I'm prepared to bet that that's a none goer, at least for a while, and that the current problems of desertification will not be solved through star trek. But, can anyone out there apply any good sci fi bunkum to any of our current problems about climate change? I know nothing about sci-fi but I do send a lot of pointless letters to my local MP and i see a thread developing here. If you have any sci fi solutions,I think he should be told.
    And GM, I think Sting has gone a bit soft. In fact he's as soft as clarts and wor lass would chin him.

    Report message6

  • Message 57

    , in reply to message 56.

    Posted by U4299637 (U4299637) on Wednesday, 2nd August 2006

    Hi Mikey,

    Yes, Sting has gone soft and he didn't do much to stop desertification in "Dune" either. Shame on him! Does having your 'toast done on one side' *ahem* do this often to Geordies?

    One theory for your local PM is to paint a load of ping-pong balls silver and chuck them in the sea. They'd reflect sunlight away from the water, shade it and cool it down. Perhaps we could even genetically engineer some silver quail eggs to do this? They could have even converted the Brent Spar as a barn for this.


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  • Message 58

    , in reply to message 57.

    Posted by daddiesgarden (U3990430) on Wednesday, 2nd August 2006

    <quote>Sting has gone soft and he didn't do much to stop desertification in "Dune" either<quote>.

    You would have thought that Dune would have been a little more productive though with the worms they had in the ground....

    Report message8

  • Message 59

    , in reply to message 58.

    Posted by sweetleaf (U3262132) on Thursday, 3rd August 2006

    What the PM could look into, would be inventing the "flux capacitor" and sending me back in time.
    While I`m back there I can work on inventing a decent solar/tidal/wind powered, power station network... I can pay for it by buying microsoft shares at launch prices, and shares in japanese electronic companies too then selling at the right time....there are no rules about insider trading via time travel are there? Then I could set up the power corporation to run itself with "green" policies and then take myself home to check the effect Ive had on the atmosphere, job done!

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  • Message 60

    , in reply to message 59.

    Posted by Obelixx (U2157162) on Thursday, 3rd August 2006

    Seems to me flux capacitors can get you in an awful mess Sweetleaf - says hse having just watched Back to the Future 1, 2 and 3 on consecutive nights last week as there was nothing else suitable to watch in the evenings with 11 yr old Possum.

    As for the rest, go for it but don't forget to share your goodies with your pals on here - or maybe just buy a huge garden with the potential to be a permanent and decent host to GW.

    Report message10

  • Message 61

    , in reply to message 56.

    Posted by 1stClassAlan (U2459016) on Thursday, 3rd August 2006

    To Mikeytoon and "Climate Change." Well there's always been changes and they haven't all been the quiet and gentle type. IN THE BEGINNING this little old lump of rock ( it was actually lots of little peices of rock getting ever more squashed together by gravity ) was constantly bombarded by other lumps still flying about - when they hit us - we got rather hot,( space, you see, in a pretty good insulator ) so hot in fact, the entire planet melted!

    At that melting moment - all the heavy elements immediately sank to the centre of the Earth in an amazing boiling cauldron effect I would have dearly liked to have seen.

    While in this molten state, we were hit by a lump of stuff so big that the Moon was split away ( both it and us are made from all the bits )and the collision was so immense that we are still wobbling on our orbit 4.5 billon years later!

    Now until this lot cooled down the planet could not retain an atmosphere at all - it just floated off into space - later on when was created out of various gases leaking out of the interior - it was not what you would call homely.

    What we are experiencing at the moment are very, very, small beer incomparison to the past and may not be anything to do with us at all - humans always overinflat their importance - though ultimately we cannot go on liberating incrasing amounts of energy and not expect some effects.

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  • Message 62

    , in reply to message 61.

    Posted by mr naughty corner (U2456974) on Monday, 7th August 2006

    Hi Alan- a 1st class degree at Jeremy Clarkson University for this I'm afraid;

    "What we are experiencing at the moment are very, very, small beer incomparison to the past and may not be anything to do with us at all - humans always overinflat their importance - though ultimately we cannot go on liberating incrasing amounts of energy and not expect some effects"

    There is not one single peer reviewed scientific paper saying that it isn't us. Its just been the beef of a few chaos theorists and apologists for the oil industry who have tried to sow the seeds of doubt. Any doubters - who believe that an increase in carbon dioxide in the atmosphere from 220ppm in 1750 to 373ppm in 2002 does not have something to do with the industrial revolution and that this has not changed the climate - are in a gang with Clarkson, Wogan, Edmonds and that's about it. Oh, and pompous scientific fraud Bellamy.

    I saw the moronic article in this week's Hortweek regarding climate change and as usual I replied to it, doubt they'll print it, they never do. Not that I have any faith in them anyway. I was mowing in the Rose Garden behind the palm House when a Kew student, a week before their graduation, came and asked me "is this a cylinder mower or a rotary? How do you start it?" They then left and reappeared in Hortweek, important garden writer. Probably be on TV next. I ask you. Kew students? Load of rubbish!!

    Lets be hearing your wise science then Alan.

    Report message12

  • Message 63

    , in reply to message 62.

    Posted by 1stClassAlan (U2459016) on Tuesday, 8th August 2006

    Hi MikeyToon,

    I have a personal beef against Clarkson and his ilk about the way they encourage studid morons to drive in country lanes full of horses which is all the more surprising when you consider that his lady is a committed Horsey!

    However, I do subscribe to anyone's theories because they polarise into a particular point of view - I don't even support a sports team - even though I am a committed fan - I just want to see a good game whatever.

    I don't really care what the parts per million of anything is - or any other "marker" because it does not mean a thing in itself. When the dinosaurs were here the carbon count was off the scale compared with today and the atmosphere was stable for millions of years.

    As I have posted to other threads - most of northern Europe froze under a mile of ice without any input from humans and it also thawed without us, when it did the sea rose by THREE HUNDRED FEET!!!! Now this is Global Warming.

    What most folk are talking about are slight blips in an ocean of uncertainty - it was only a few years ago when most of the "experts" currently banging on about the heat - that we were headed for another Ice Age.

    And I can assure you that I know my way around a Honda 536 QXE Pro Roller or for that matter a Wessex 912/2 1.2mt cut rotary finisher as I've sat on the Iseki that pulls it for 655 hours at the last oil change!

    Report message13

  • Message 64

    , in reply to message 63.

    Posted by sweetleaf (U3262132) on Thursday, 10th August 2006

    Everyone Knows that the earth is orbiting around the sun and that our sun is the centre of our galaxy and that our galaxy is also on the move... orbiting god-knows-what. But I watched and partially absorbed a program on discovery a few years ago that postulated a theory that magnetic forces tilt our planet off its normal axis once every 10,000 years and that during this time we pass through an area of space which is full of meteors and space garbage.
    The top scientists on this prog who`s names I dont remember were English, Russian and American (politically poles apart) and they all seemed to believe that the Earth undergoes Ice-ages on a regular basis due to this orbit/polar shift and that we are almost wiped out, and start again with a clean slate over and over again... like a kind of cosmic deja-vu.
    They postulated that this was what wiped out the Dinosaurs (who didnt all die at once) but in stages.
    They said that the southern tip of Africa is the only place which was never covered in Ice, which is why all our ancestors seemed to "originate" there but were in fact the only survivors of a planetary cooling trend.
    The bad news was that they think we have almost reached the point where another ice-age is inevitable and that the magnetic pole was already shifting.

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  • Message 65

    , in reply to message 64.

    Posted by Obelixx (U2157162) on Thursday, 10th August 2006

    Time to go out and buy lots of thermal undies and socks then! Not to mention fleece for the garden.

    Report message15

  • Message 66

    , in reply to message 64.

    Posted by 1stClassAlan (U2459016) on Saturday, 12th August 2006

    Dear Sweetleaf, I've seen many a programme as you suggest but ALL of them leave more questions than answers and for anyone casually watching they have a hard job to - educate, inform and entertain before Joe Public hits the remote.

    Our sun for instance is a rather mediocre star way out on an arm of a spiral galaxy that we just happen to call the Milky Way - the Milky bit is actually the centre so we can't be in it if you have to look up to see it!

    Magnetic forces play a part in cosmology but a small part - Gravity ( also a very small force compared to many about the place ) has far more effect. Our planet's own magnetism is a product of it having a molten core but don't think of it as hot stuff slopping about in a saucepan as the centre has 4000 miles of rock sitting on top of it so it can't move very far! The amazing pressure down there is prefectly matched by the gravity pulling the surface down - balanced like fantastically accurate scales.

    Any force that affects us - affects us ALL the time - catastrophic switches only occur in science fiction. The slight orbital shifts to which you refer started when the Earth was still primordial - don't forget there's much evidence to say that a great molten body hit us while we were still in the same state - after the tremendous collision the Earth and the Moon took their present shapes and are still locked in a dance like a pair of skaters though drifting further part.

    I almost hate to tell you that some rocks at the Southern tip of Africa show great evidence of extreme glaciation 850 million years ago.

    The dinosaurs almost certainly died out as a result of many causes rather than one event but I wouldn't have thought an Ice Age was one of them as the timing is way out.

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  • Message 67

    , in reply to message 66.

    Posted by sweetleaf (U3262132) on Tuesday, 15th August 2006

    I was surprised that you mentioned that the southern tip of Africa was covered in ice 850 million years ago, when my point was about the human Race, which as far as Im aware has only been around a tiny fraction of that time about, 50,000 yrs,perhaps I was unclear on that point.
    I was always taught that cold weather, "nuclear winter"due to meteorite activity, and the onset of the Ice ages were at least in part responsible for the demise of ancient species including the larger vegetarian dinosaurs which were the food of the meat eating dinosaurs, perhaps Id better go back to school and have it out with them?
    Of course I know about the relationship of Earth to the milky way but the milky way is orbiting also and taking us with it through areas of space which are impossible to map until we reach them,although earth has almost certainly been there before, bearing in mind that the universe is still expanding.
    Our view of the cosmos is exactly that, just a "view" with much more out there than man can imagine or speculate. Having said all this please refer back to my original message where I said "Scientists postulated a theory" and never said "proved"
    Im sure you have a rebuttal, so Ill sit back and wait for it.smiley - biggrin

    Report message17

  • Message 68

    , in reply to message 63.

    Posted by mr naughty corner (U2456974) on Tuesday, 15th August 2006

    are you talking about Milankovtich cycles? That's why Newcastle was under a mile of ice. You don't need to post that on loads of other threads, its perfectly explainable, I did it in geography when I was 13. At school. At a rubbish comprehensive school. Not one for clever people. Milutin (?) Milankovitch was a Serbian mathematician who traced and linked the orbital variation of the earth to the increases and decreases in the polar ice caps. There are a number of them that do change the rotation and orientation of the earth. Off the top of my head they are known as obliquity, eccentricity and precession. I'm sure there were four. Would you like to know what the three I can remember do?

    We are headed for an ice age but its still a long way off and there is nothing we can do about it. So, to win your bursery at the University of Clarkson, tell me in a few hundred words why this means we should do nothing about the current human induced surge in carbon dioxide concentration and why we have no moral responsibility for future generations. And you could also win a chelsea tank.

    Milankovitch cycles demonstrate the futility and transient nature of existence if that is the path you wish to go down. They are used by people like Clarkson and scientific fraud Bellamy to say that man cannot affect climate. They do not of course explain why we have a sudden massive increase in carbon dioxide in the atmosphere. Or am I missing something?

    Please Alan don't put "experts" in parentheses. it is cheesy and beneath you. Likewise, "ocean of uncertainty", or you will set me off down the corridoor or misappropriation or something.

    I agree about the idiots in their fast cars not slowing down for horses. I can't stand that, unless they are hunting, then I'll happily run them over.

    Tally Ho!

    Report message18

  • Message 69

    , in reply to message 68.

    Posted by U4299637 (U4299637) on Wednesday, 16th August 2006

    Mikey, are the Milankovitch Cycles why magnetic north gradually sways to and fro from our polar north? I thought anyone that saw a OS map legend would know this. Correct me if I'm wrong...

    I regularly account for this discrepancy when joining Mr Swallow's 'extreme land surveyors' club on the weekend. In fact, it's almost a private joke for us now, after I once forgot to complete a back-check, and almost ended up 3 degrees askew! Great days! and I still have the hat... smiley - smiley

    When this all gets far too 'cosmic' for me, I enjoy sitting in my garden temple which is shaped like a pyramid and listening to Sun Ra and his Arkestra. I'll share a snippet with you all. It makes all the answers in life become so clear to me.... (don't forget to turn the volume up!)

    I never wanted to be a part of planet Earth, but I am compelled to be here, so anything I do for this planet is because the Master-Creator of the Universe is making me do it. I am of another dimension. I am on this planet because people need me 

    GM smiley - star

    Report message19

  • Message 70

    , in reply to message 67.

    Posted by 1stClassAlan (U2459016) on Wednesday, 16th August 2006

    Hi Sweetleaf, I'm not going to rebut you or anything so kindly - we are merely having a friendly discussion here, passing on what we know for others to chew over and perhaps take another few steps.

    In the beginning - well for this planet - the material that slowly began to coagulate were all at the same temperature as space and that, in the absence of anything nearby to warm it up is very near to absolute zero -273 degrees K and this is a pretty good ice age just to start.

    Of course things started to warm up real good because there were many objects crossing and indeed sharing our path which promptly hit each other causing heat - eventually the entire planet became molten.

    I think it was mistaken of your school to teach you that ALL ice ages were induced by meteoric activity because there are so many things that could do it from slight enery output changes in the sun to dust in space. The nuclear winter scenario is interesting because although devastating it would not cause a true ice age but stop photo synthesis for a number of years and that would kill the majority of plants - not just the cold. And trouble is - some plants survived and so did some animals.

    As for Man's imagination not being up to the task - you only have to scan these message boards to see that it often outstrips facts by miles.

    Report message20

  • Message 71

    , in reply to message 69.

    Posted by mr naughty corner (U2456974) on Wednesday, 16th August 2006

    Hi Gartenmeister Brian.
    I do remember now, it was you wasn't it wearing a quite magnificent hat when i stumbled upon you in the mountains of Spain. Can you remember the name of the endemic Crocus beyond the snow line in the Sierra Nevada? Was that the flower you were wearing? A truly magnificent hat of which i was truly jealous. I take mine off to you.

    Mr Swallow is of course a firm favourite of mine too. I only wish i had been taking more notice when he had his heart attack.

    The obliquity Milankovitch cycle affects the differential between northern and southern hemispheres. The wobble of the earth on its axis varies between 22.1 and 24.5 degrees on a 42,000 year cycle. Its current angle is around 23.45. The lower the angle, the lower the seasonal difference between northern and southern hemispheres. When the angle is greatest, the seasonal differences are greater. The lower degrees of axial tilt will produce the ice sheets. This is because when the suns rays are evenly split between summer and winter, the winter will be warmer, warmer air will hold more moisture and produce more snow. The summer wil be cooler therefore less of the snow will melt.

    I think.

    I look forward to seeing you in your new hat at the other place soon. I shall be visiting Bertie and I spoke with The Beast of Ventnor this afternoon. He was living on a beach, fishing, and is unable to convert back into pounds from rupees. And he has a fantastic "touching the void" story.

    chin chin

    Report message21

  • Message 72

    , in reply to message 71.

    Posted by U4299637 (U4299637) on Thursday, 17th August 2006

    Hallo Mikey,

    Thanks for clearing that one up. Of course, I should have said that the Earths magnetic deviation is slightly different subject indeed! smiley - laugh

    Was it the Bowler you saw in Spain or the Tricorne? I often wear that when travelling. One point for each corner of the Earth so to speak. When surveying however, the third corner always obstructed the eyepiece, hence to two-corner, PVC surveyors hat. Weathervain does quite a variety of colours nowadays, but I must admit a soft-spot for the traditional yellow.

    The flower you saw perhaps would have been the Andalusian Snapdragon – Antirrhinum cowardii – the Parc Natural give me a sprig whenever I'm over that way. Most kind of them I'm sure you'll agree. however, if it were when staying in that charming mountain hotel, that was a totally different hat I was wearing that night...

    Regards to Bertie when you see him,

    Bong, bong!


    Report message22

  • Message 73

    , in reply to message 72.

    Posted by Derek Pig (U14833635) on Saturday, 21st April 2012


    Report message23

  • Message 74

    , in reply to message 73.

    Posted by Gartenmeister (U14860990) on Sunday, 22nd April 2012

    Greetings my British Broadcasting Chums,

    Does anyone remember the original B movie of 'The Thing'? The titular antagonist was part martian, part vegetable. An 'intellectual carrot' as I recall... What with science now demonstrating synthetic DNA evolving, it's about time we started deciding what plants we definitely do not want going on a rampage and stopping them before it's too late.

    I personally shudder at the thought of sentient Choisya ternata 'Sundance' tracking me down for the glyphosate fuelled atrocities I have committed against their kind.


    Brian (GM)

    Report message24

  • Message 75

    , in reply to message 74.

    Posted by Derek Pig (U14833635) on Sunday, 22nd April 2012


    It is right that we should meet here at this, the end of days...

    but imagine if the world was ending- and that end was due to some sort of amorphus collaboration of animal and vegetable? A bit like the audience on Jeremy Kyle. But with more slavering blooded teeth and more grabbing claws and stabbing barbs, with fouler breath and even more blinded by evil..

    It makes me shudder to think about it.

    My own personal hell would be being surrounded by heavily armed Brassicaceae; ones that had mated with those egotistical Caesar like judges from the Voice. Imagine the hate, the bitterness and the spite as they track you down, cut off your retreat and then absorb you into their collective billious interiors. How you would scream! A bit like the borg, only more cabbage-like.

    Gosh, can you imaging it?

    Warrior Spirit, etc


    Report message25

  • Message 76

    , in reply to message 75.

    Posted by Obelixx (U2157162) on Sunday, 22nd April 2012

    Not really, but I've been in tears of laughter over the space thread so do please carry on with running your imaginations wild.

    Report message26

  • Message 77

    , in reply to message 75.

    Posted by Gartenmeister (U14860990) on Sunday, 22nd April 2012

    Greetings Dezza,

    It has indeed been too long. Alas, I fear we are too late to stop the plant uprising. Check out the Ted talk online that the Italian botanist / neurobiologist Stefano Mancuso gave a while back. He introduced the concept of 'The Plantoids'. Amoral, unstoppable plant machine hybrids to conquer and colonise new worlds. It's like the Skynet of the plant kingdom. Our only hope would be a fearless warrior, much like the Terminator, but thinner from working in a tropical environment, armed with a backpack mist blower full of herbicide...


    Report message27

  • Message 78

    , in reply to message 77.

    Posted by Derek Pig (U14833635) on Sunday, 22nd April 2012


    Amoral unstoppable plant machine hybrids that conquer and colonise new worlds has beeen the objective of every generalist mad man for the last thousand years. Its not too wild a theory to speculate that any alien civilisations would belooking at our planet with similar objectives in mind.

    I hope that the bigwigs have gotten themselves around the table to consider this. Much military technology is directed towards deep penetrating shells and fast moving aerial attacks. Would these be the right way to repel dangerous and insane Curcurbitaceae? would our missile defences really do much harm to parachuting pumpkins or flamethrower weilding turnips?

    I doubt it. i doubt it a lot.

    I hope that in the current round of cuts, the government is thinking about this and will ensure that our armed forces are well prepared to see off this kind of thing. I'm thinking giant mashing machines, blender bombs and puree plasma. I'm also seeing a platoon of tanks- shaped like and modelled on big tongued mockney TV chef Jamie Oliver to put the fear of god into them- firing out paraquat like there is no tomorrow. After all, if they failed, there would be no tomorrow.

    The carnage that would be created would be considerable. The clean up expensive. And the rivers would run green with sap. But life must continue; man must continue.

    I feel that I know the skinny terminator in the mist, the man you speak of... there is much disturbance in the force, a feeling I have not felt for a long time...


    Report message28

  • Message 79

    , in reply to message 78.

    Posted by nooj (U13729031) on Sunday, 22nd April 2012

    I don't feel well.
    Whatever happened to my cuddly warm world of Monty Don (and Nigel, who is like Robin to Batman))
    Cats lying in front of an open fire, vegetables growing nicely in nearly straight lines, my only problem being man -eating snails, and whether or not I should take an air rifle to sort out some of the almost humanoid neighbours?
    It's all too much, this science stuff.......
    Sob, and thrice sob...
    I'll put some Hendrix on.....

    Report message29

  • Message 80

    , in reply to message 78.

    Posted by Mycowaz (U14848091) on Sunday, 22nd April 2012

    Not a terminator gentlemen....

    what we need is a;


    This brave soldier of fortune will gladly take on killer cucurbitaceae or rampaging rubiaceae, taking one for the team, and probably not coming home.

    Failure is not an option

    Warrior Spirit!!

    Report message30

  • Message 81

    , in reply to message 80.

    Posted by Gartenmeister (U14860990) on Sunday, 22nd April 2012

    ...and if those best plans fail Mycowaz, I hope someone with guts will push the button. And we all know what a post-apocolyptic landscape would look like, just like the crudely drawn illustrations of the tribulations in the Book of Ketley.

    Charred, war-torn Cycads busting out of the tatters of their former glasshouses, mutant cockroaches duelling the only land mammal hard enough to survive. Just think of Mad Max set in cycad forests acted out by... badgers. Badgers so smart, they dug into WWII arms caches... Badgers with Lugers.


    Report message31

  • Message 82

    , in reply to message 81.

    Posted by Derek Pig (U14833635) on Sunday, 22nd April 2012

    This is getting serious gentlemen...

    Badgers with Lugers? what a terrifying apocalypse we face! Reliant upon only the much derided biological control agent. is there hope for our children?


    We must approach this problem in an intergrated manner. Mycowaz- you use the bio control. Gartenmeister- we're relying on you to manufacture some kind of friendly replicant we can use against the alien part animal part vegetable invaders. Me, I'll get my softball bat and kick some mutant-vegetable ass!

    Warrior Spirit!


    Report message32

  • Message 83

    , in reply to message 82.

    Posted by nooj (U13729031) on Sunday, 22nd April 2012

    This is getting more and more like When the wind blows
    I'll just get the washing in...... and I think I take a door off it's hinges?

    Report message33

  • Message 84

    , in reply to message 83.

    Posted by Mycowaz (U14848091) on Sunday, 22nd April 2012

    These boy's have far too much time on there hands eh Nooj!

    Report message34

  • Message 85

    , in reply to message 83.

    Posted by Gartenmeister (U14860990) on Sunday, 22nd April 2012

    Well Nooj, I've a list of plants here that would recycle enough CO2 that you could lock yourself permanently into a greenhouse to escape our badger ruled dystopia. You'd have to love Cycad soup though...


    Report message35

  • Message 86

    , in reply to message 83.

    Posted by Derek Pig (U14833635) on Sunday, 22nd April 2012

    This is no cartoon Nooj- did you not see Threads, focusing on the thermo nuclear destruction of Sheffield and the subsequent horror of life in the South Riding?

    When these vege-mal monsters start landing and the lights start going out, the knowledge that at least Yorkshire has been anihilated for ever will not be enough to sooth my terror. Stock up now- processed, tinned or powdered goods. Throw the babybio down the loo- they are attracted by it.

    Trust no one. the Big Green Giant is a meglomanic extra terrestrial psychopath hell bent on destruction. Those ribena berries, from the adverts? Evil. The pepperoni meaty thing that Vyvyn from the young ones voices over- a threat to civilisation.

    the only bit I'm looking forward to is feeding them ronald mcdonald.

    Report message36

  • Message 87

    , in reply to message 86.

    Posted by nooj (U13729031) on Sunday, 22nd April 2012

    Palmer Tomkinson?
    I'm in the West Riding - or I would be if they hadnt got rid of it all in the 70's, when i was wearing crushed velvet tops and black loons
    Perghaps because I was wearing that....we'll never know

    Report message37

  • Message 88

    , in reply to message 87.

    Posted by Obelixx (U2157162) on Sunday, 22nd April 2012

    And there was me on t'other side o' th'ills (the right side obviously) thinking loons had to be purple or at least psychedilic! Shan't talk about the Geordie antecedents and yellow trolley buses.

    Report message38

  • Message 89

    , in reply to message 88.

    Posted by nooj (U13729031) on Sunday, 22nd April 2012

    Look, Obs - don't want to fall out - but you know as well as I do there's only one good side of the Pennines.
    loons were brilliant - insestructible!

    Report message39

  • Message 90

    , in reply to message 89.

    Posted by Yakram (U2443370) on Wednesday, 25th April 2012

    Thanks Guys and Gals! Hopefully we will see you on the Other Side (not the dark one) - on the GW magazine website fora??

    Report message40

  • Message 91

    , in reply to message 86.

    Posted by Gartenmeister (U14860990) on Wednesday, 25th April 2012

    Well my gardening chums, Obi-wan, Yakkers, Nooj, Myco, Dezza, the elusive Mr A...

    The most devilish plant based sci-fi plot came to me in a fever-induced vision last night, at this eleventh hour. Consider this: BRYOPHYTES. That's right - mosses, liverwort etc fused with humans.

    Now, I know that you might envision fluffy, wooly humanoids bumbling along on their feet, but think again... remember your plant science... remember the 'alternation of generations', diploids and haploids and all that... Yes, their dominant form is the GAMETOPHYTE phase! Think about it!!!

    Milky green creatures like The Blob, part liverwort like scales, part seminal conglomerate, pulsating amorphously, leaving a crusty, pearlescent trail in it's wake... Remorselessly firing chromosome splitting rays in a Brandhamesque fashion to instantly convert victims into haploid half-lings…

    Where will the home of gardening sci-fi be next?!



    Report message41

  • Message 92

    , in reply to message 91.

    Posted by nooj (U13729031) on Wednesday, 25th April 2012

    Do you want to know something very sad - my first thought was what a mess they would make when they had a bath.
    Don't know why....
    So, is the end of everything tonight.?
    i've lost the plot.
    If it is, goodbye nice life will be less without you

    Report message42

  • Message 93

    , in reply to message 92.

    Posted by Derek Pig (U14833635) on Wednesday, 25th April 2012

    This is it Nooj- the end of days. That the end should come in a mass of haploid gametophyte creamy wazz syrup is the not the way that i saw it ending. What are we going to do? Where are we going to be welcome?

    and this night of all nights, where is WAV?

    Report message43

  • Message 94

    , in reply to message 93.

    Posted by Mycowaz (U14848091) on Wednesday, 25th April 2012

    Dezza, I dont think we ever that welcome here....just ask David K!

    I'm open to suggestions though!

    Report message44

  • Message 95

    , in reply to message 93.

    Posted by Gartenmeister (U14860990) on Wednesday, 25th April 2012

    Blimey, the WAV beast... 'Flicking caterpillars' into the mossy flotsam smiley - sadface pass me the biocide, that's a bad metal image!

    Just checked his youtube video "in a small pot"... I'm sure it's some kind of performance art that we're never going to understand within his lifetime. When's his next gig Dezza?

    Report message45

  • Message 96

    , in reply to message 95.

    Posted by Derek Pig (U14833635) on Wednesday, 25th April 2012


    i keep a close eye out for him. last year I went to the Cumberland Arms in Byker and saw a bit of paper on the wall advertising his web site. It had hand written tear off labels so people could take the name of the site and leave the poster for others to admire.

    So i ripped it down and threw it in the fire.

    If he's doing his silent recorder playing anywhere round Tyneside I'll be onto it and I'll take a right bunch of idiots down to serenade him. I'll bring Dave Mental. He's a nutter



    Report message46

  • Message 97

    , in reply to message 96.

    Posted by Gartenmeister (U14860990) on Thursday, 26th April 2012

    And Chamone to you Dezza.



    Report message47

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