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Posted by Lady Macbeϯh - not without mustard (U550479) on Wednesday, 10th October 2012
A fairy story in sundry parts:
Once upon a time there were 3 little piggies who lived together in a rented house called Number 1 The Green – or was it Number 8? It didn’t really matter as none of the piggies could read anything but the leaflets which came through their door on a daily basis.
One day a leaflet arrived, very early in the morning, and the smallest piggy was awoken by the clatter of the letterbox and the thud as the very large leaflet hit the doormat.
‘Bother!’ squeaked the piggy and went downstairs to investigate.
There was a long silence and then the little piggy squealed. Very loudly.
He dashed up the stairs and shook his bothers awake. They were very grumpy and complained at being woken so early, especially as the youngest piggy seemed quite unable to explain why he had woken them so unceremoniously. All he could do was to point his trotters at the leaflet and garble. Since the older pigs didn’t speak garble, they were compelled to look at the leaflet.
The cover showed 3 little piggies, just like them. They were round and fat and white with black spots and were rootling around in an orchard, eating lovely, rosy apples.
“Aww” said the oldest piggy. “They look just like us.”
“Aww” said the other piggy “I wonder where we can find lovely, rosy apples like that? I could just fancy a few of those for my breakfast. “
But the youngest piggy just kept garbling and pointing. Then his trotters started to shake uncontrollably and the shaking moved up to his shoulders and up to his nose and all over his body till it finally reached his tail and he was shaking so much that he dropped the leaflet and it fell onto the floor and opened to reveal what was contained within.
But this one wasn’t of nice, fat round pigs in an orchard eating lovely, rosy apples. It was of ‘Tom Archer’s Organic Pork Ready meals’.
When they saw those pictures, the other two piggies started shaking, too. They shook so much that the whole house began to rattle. And as the house started to rattle their teeth started to chatter and this is what their teeth were chattering about:
‘The Big Bad Wolf is coming to get us and he will turn us into meatballs and chops and bacon and sausages and we’ll never be able to eat lovely, rosy apples in an orchard. And we are scared.’
To be continued …
Posted by HolRose (U15447369) on Wednesday, 10th October 2012
This is great Lady M. Looking forward to the next instalment! Thanks.
Posted by Vicky S (U2258400) on Thursday, 11th October 2012
I hope this has a happy ending - for the pigs that is.
Posted by poshquilter (U3799549) on Thursday, 11th October 2012
I fear it won't.......
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