Fantasy Archers  permalink

Borsetshire Life Exclusive: Jim Lloyd Interviews Mike Tucker, Artisan Milk Producer

This discussion has been closed.

Messages: 1 - 8 of 8
  • Message 1. 

    Posted by tisviv (U15188212) on Thursday, 4th October 2012

    In Jim Lloyd's second interview for Borsetshire Life, he talks to Mike Tucker - Ambridge Artisan Milk Provider: Original Transcript.

    Jim: So Mike, you’re the proud owner of a micro-dairy. Can you explain just what that is?
    Mike: Like a dairy, only smaller.
    Jim: I see – anything else you’d like to tell us about it?
    Mike: Not really. I’m a man of few words.
    Jm: But would you say your milk is different from that found on supermarket shelves?
    Mike: Well, yes. We do doorstep deliveries.
    Jim: Any difference in the taste?
    Mike: All tastes the same to me. To be honest, I’m not a big fan of dairy produce generally. Oh! I’m supposed to say it’s a quality product so it commands a premium price.
    Jim: I see. Now, I understand you’re married to Vicky –
    Mike: Certainly am.
    Jim: What first sparked your interest in her?
    Mike: Her cha-cha-cha. Never seen anything like it.
    Jim: Your prized possession?
    Mike: A gold cup, presented to me and the wife for our public display of the paso doble.
    Jim: You’re also a keen woodsman. Like to say something about that?
    Mike: I like trees; they don’t talk back at you. Their bark’s worse than their bite -ahahaha!
    Jim: Er, quite. Your dream destination?
    Mike: What do you mean? It’s here, isn’t it? Ambridge is Shangri-La to me.
    Jim: But if you could go anywhere, get away from Borsetshire for a holiday, where would you go?
    Mike: Finland. They’ve got some lovely trees AND Santa Claus.
    Jim: Ahahaha.
    Mike: Why are you laughing?
    Jim: I thought you were joking.
    Mike: I never joke. Life’s a difficult business. In fact, until I took up the tango, I hardly ever smiled.
    Jim: Any regrets?
    Mike: There are some things I didn’t take seriously enough. I never foresaw the rise of yogurt and I made the mistake of totally underestimating crème fraiche.
    Jim: Any plans for retirement?
    Mike: Where have you been, Professor? I’ll be on the milk round until I’m at least eighty-two and a half. We’ve a baby on the way.
    Jim: Of course! Silly me. May I offer my congratulations? It’ll be hard though, all those sleepless nights at your age.
    Mike: Thanks. The hardest part is actually deciding on a name. We thought maybe: Twinkeltoes-Fluffykins St. Beddy.
    Jim: Goodness!
    Mike: It’s after Vicky’s mother and my late wife.
    Jim: Very original. We don’t seem to have talked much about your pioneering work as a small businessman.
    Mike: I’m taller than you, Prof.
    Jim: I don’t think so. My height is appropriately patrician – you’re more of a stocky yeoman.
    Mike: I’m very light on my feet though.
    Jim: Though perhaps not quite as light as your erstwhile roundsman Harry.
    Mike:Eh?
    Jim: What would you do if you could be invisible for a day?
    Mike: That’s an easy one. I’d get Tom Archer by the ears and I’d say to him: “For goodness sake get a grip, son. Nobody’s interested in hearing you going on and on and bloomin’ on about Ready Meals, least of all my Brenda.”
    Jim: I see. Finally Mike, has anything amusing ever happened to you regarding the dairy business?
    Mike: I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you.
    Jim: Ahahaha.
    Mike: Why are you laughing?
    Jim: What are you most looking forward to?
    Mike: The safe birth of my baby daughter to my beautiful wife.
    Jim: What a splendid chap you are.. I don’t know quite what to say now…sniff.
    Mike: Well, that certainly makes a change, Professor. Haven’t you got an appropriate Roman quotation for me?
    Jim: Perhaps, Titus Livius: “Fortune Favours The Brave.”
    Mike: That’ll do, Prof; that’ll do. Now can I interest you in a bogoff offer on single cream?
    Jim: Wouldn’t that make it double cream? Ahahahaha.
    Mike: No.

    END


    Report message1

  • Message 2

    , in reply to message 1.

    Posted by Elnora Cornstalk (U5646495) on Thursday, 4th October 2012

    Love both of these, tisviv; thank you!

    (Hoping for Maurice Horton next .. Hint.. hint.)

    Report message2

  • Message 3

    , in reply to message 1.

    Posted by Tayler Cresswell - Host (U14232848) on Thursday, 4th October 2012

    Splendid interview tisviv! Very Jim ; )

  • Message 4

    , in reply to message 2.

    Posted by tisviv (U15188212) on Thursday, 4th October 2012

    Love both of these, tisviv; thank you!

    (Hoping for Maurice Horton next .. Hint.. hint.)  
    Thanks, Elnora.

    Unfortunately I think Maurice has taken a vow of silence - a bit like Freda Fry.

    Report message4

  • Message 5

    , in reply to message 3.

    Posted by tisviv (U15188212) on Thursday, 4th October 2012

    Splendid interview tisviv! Very Jim ; )  Thanks!

    Report message5

  • Message 6

    , in reply to message 4.

    Posted by Vicky S (U2258400) on Friday, 5th October 2012

    Love both of these, tisviv; thank you!

    (Hoping for Maurice Horton next .. Hint.. hint.)  
    Thanks, Elnora.

    Unfortunately I think Maurice has taken a vow of silence - a bit like Freda Fry. 
    You could do Joe though couldn't you? He's not a silent, so you could, couldn't you? Pretty please.

    Report message6

  • Message 7

    , in reply to message 4.

    Posted by Elnora Cornstalk (U5646495) on Friday, 5th October 2012

    We have met the divine Maurice and know of his ills and of his reading preferences (Moby-Dick), but I agree, he's not the most talkative of characters. Sadly.

    I'll be happy (re-)reading any of Jim's transcripts. True classics yield new matter at every encounter!

    Report message7

  • Message 8

    , in reply to message 6.

    Posted by tisviv (U15188212) on Monday, 8th October 2012

    Love both of these, tisviv; thank you!

    (Hoping for Maurice Horton next .. Hint.. hint.)  
    Thanks, Elnora.

    Unfortunately I think Maurice has taken a vow of silence - a bit like Freda Fry. 
    You could do Joe though couldn't you? He's not a silent, so you could, couldn't you? Pretty please. 
    Thanks, Vicky.
    Jim's Dictaphone has gone missing, but he'll do his best to "get" Joe when I - I mean he - returns from hols in a couple of weeks. By which time of course ANYTHING might have happened in Ambridge.....

    Report message8

Back to top

About this Board

Welcome to the Archers Messageboard.

or register to take part in a discussion.


The message board is currently closed for posting.

This messageboard is now closed.

This messageboard is reactively moderated.

Find out more about this board's House Rules

Search this Board

BBC © 2014 The BBC is not responsible for the content of external sites. Read more.

This page is best viewed in an up-to-date web browser with style sheets (CSS) enabled. While you will be able to view the content of this page in your current browser, you will not be able to get the full visual experience. Please consider upgrading your browser software or enabling style sheets (CSS) if you are able to do so.