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Four Go Festive

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Messages: 1 - 17 of 17
  • Message 1. 

    Posted by Vicky S (U2258400) on Thursday, 2nd August 2012

    Jolene clung to Kenton's arm, "I know I'm being a bit of an old hen ," she whispered, "But I can't help worrying about them going off on their own. It's such a long way."

    Kenton sucked on his pipe reflectively. "Now, now old girl, " he said eventually. "You know they'll be fine. Harry's a very sensible lad, tall for his age and a natural leader. He'll keep an eye on things and make sure they are all safe and don't get into any scrapes with foreigners or arty types. I admit Jazzer can be a bit of a silly billy, but he's a practical sort of a lad, so if anything breaks down Jazzer will be able to fix it with his pen knife and some string, and he's a good man to have watching your back in a tight corner. We know they won't starve - not with young Kirsty looking after the tucker, and as for your Fallon...... well, I've tucked a few packets of three into her rucksack so I don't think there's anything for us to worry about with her. Now, wipe your eyes on your pinny and let's go down and wave them off."

    At last, thanks to Harry's excellent organisational skills, everything was packed neatly inside the camper van and they were ready for the off. Except that there was no sign of Kirsty!

    " I suppose she's still putting on her lippy " smiled Harry, and the others laughed heartily in agreement - just then Kirsty hurried into the carpark, carrying a huge picnic basket that was almost as big as she was. "Sorry everyone" she gasped, "I lost all track of time while getting a few bits together for a picnic on the way I thought it would be so much more fun than a stuffy old motorway services meal."

    "Jest es lang es yu dinna maike a habit of it." grumbled Jazzer in his quaint accent, but Kirsty could tell by the twinkle in his eyes that he wasn't really cross.

    "Keys Fallon?" queried Harry, and held out his hand, Fallon hesitated for a second, it was HER van, and after all not many girls of her age owned their own camper van, but Edinburgh was a long way off, along busy motorways so maybe it would be better if the boys took charge of the driving . "I've left a space for you and Kirsty in the back," Harry continued, "Jazzer and I will do the driving and map reading stuff while you girls enjoy the scenery and have a bit of a natter."

    So the giggling girls climbed into the back of the van and sorted themselves out with their cushions and magazines. "Seat belts on," Harry reminded them, sensibly.

    "Aye Aye Cap'n," responded Jazzer and they all laughed heartily and clicked their seatbelts closed..

    With lots of waves and blown kisses and a final beep of the horn the little camper van chugged out of the pub carpark and made its way towards the bypass. Kirsty and Fallon leaned out of the windows and waved excitedly at everyone they passed. "We're off on our holidays," called Kirsty "Just us, with no grownups!" They all laughed heartily again. It was true, the holiday had started!

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  • Message 2

    , in reply to message 1.

    Posted by DiamondLil (U11107751) on Thursday, 2nd August 2012

    Oh, I hope they have packed sandwiches and lashings of Ginger Beer...

    Edinburgh is such a very long way away, they will need lashings of petrol too, but I'm sure they will have plenty of adventures on the way, eh Vic?

    (lovely btw, specially Kenton with a pipe!)


    Report message2

  • Message 3

    , in reply to message 2.

    Posted by Vicky S (U2258400) on Friday, 3rd August 2012

    Some time before Manchester Jazzer ate his last rolo and consequently became restive.

    "So Kirsty hen, whit's in yer goodie baskit then ?"

    Harry and Fallon perked up expectantly.

    "Well," she began, " Helen kindly let me buy some still good organic veg from the shop so I made roasted vegetable gazpacho, that's soup Jazzer, which should be delicious. Then to follow I've made some quinoa and smoked tofu wraps with avocado pesto and micro salad leaves seasoned with a sweet chilli and basil oil dressing . Then for pudding I've played safe with some of our famous apricot flapjacks. Hope that's OK for everyone. Oh, and I've got some bottles of special organic, and of course strictly non alcoholic Tom Archer ginger beer, to wash it down."

    "Do ye no sell English fud in tha' shop? " said Jazzer. "Ye know, like sandwiches made av thick sliced ham wi' a bitta le'ice on crusty farmhoose bread , firm tamatas, broon shell hard boiled eggies? A slice of home made froo' caike. That sorta thing. "

    "Goodness Jazz," laughed Harry, heartily, "I never had you down as an afficionado of retro picnic food. Welcome to the 21st century. Sounds delicious Kirsty, well done you."

    Kirsty giggled and blushed, "Gosh thanks, Harry, but honestly it was nothing. I was going to get up at 5 o'clock anyway."

    "So where shall we stop to eat?" interjected Fallon hastily, "I vote for getting off the motorway and seeing if we can't find a kindly old woman who will let us eat in her garden if we promise not to make a mess."

    "Bangin' idea Fallon, and we could mebbe ask her to warm the soup up for us too, and mebbe make us a cuppa tea fer afty." said Jazzer, with more enthusiasm that he felt.

    The others laughed heartily , Harry explained about gazpacho in some detail, but they eventually agreed that freshening up was a good idea. Consequently the little camper van soon indicated a turn into motorway services.

    Jazzer was stunned. Things were deteriorating rapidly. If the soup was cold, he reasoned, what hope was there for the rest of the menu. He thought quickly.

    As they drew up and parked between two foreign registered cars, [causing Harry to make a quick note in his pocket note book for future reference] he turned to Kirsty.

    "Kirsty," he began, and smiled his extra order smile," Did you say they was avocado in them rappy jobbies? Only I think it's avocado I'm allergic too, it's either avocaat or avocado, one or the other, brings me oot in terrible hives, and vomitin', and I wouldna want to take the risk so far from home. So would you mind awful if I popped in here to see if they could do me a wee carry oot, a bacon butty, or a wee bag o'chips or summat."

    Kirsty looked concerned, "Oh Jazzer, I'm so sorry, I had no idea! I feel awful. If only I had known I could have left out the avocado and put in some aubergine and tahini coulis instead. Look, please, take this, no I insist, you shouldn't have to spend your own money when it's not your fault you can't eat the same lunch as the rest of us."

    Jazzer climbed out of the van, stuffed the tenner in his pocket and stretched his legs as he looked around the carpark. "You're a wee treasure Kirsty, canna understand why you havna been spoken for long ago. Listen, these places have long queues, dinna wait for me to come back. Why don't youse all start your fud and I'll be as quick as I can. Afty all, you wouldna want your soup to get warm, would you?"

    He didn't wait for a reply but set off, timing his arrival at the entrance to perfection by approaching at the same time as a pair of tall Swedish girls with heavy rucksacks and puzzled expressions .

    So Kirsty dipped into the hamper and drew out three linen napkins and a gingham tablecloth.

    "I don't know why it is," sighed Fallon, "But food always tastes better in the open air." And the others nodded their agreement as they set to the delicious lunch with gusto.

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  • Message 4

    , in reply to message 3.

    Posted by Organoleptic Icon (U11219171) on Saturday, 4th August 2012

    Great, but was it strawberry or apple gusto?


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  • Message 5

    , in reply to message 3.

    Posted by tisviv (U15188212) on Saturday, 4th August 2012

    Love it. Do hope they meet some sinister types along the way.

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  • Message 6

    , in reply to message 5.

    Posted by Vicky S (U2258400) on Wednesday, 8th August 2012

    Disclaimer: I have never been to Edinburgh. All I know about the city has been gleaned from reading Rebus and The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie. Any similarities between the city and its inhabitants is purely accidental. I apologise for the rest.

    There was silence in the small white van as they drove into the camping ground and found their allocated space.

    "Well, this looks fine." said Kirsty, "Not quite the panoramic sweeping views over the city of the last place, but I think we'll do OK here."

    "I'll say it wan muir time, that wuz wheer me and my mates dossed down fer the night the last time I wus here and there wasna any prablem.Weel, not mach of wan, " explained Jazzer patiently.

    "Shame you didn't tell us that the reason you were parked by the Castle was because your van had broken down and you were all too bladdered to move it," Fallon pointed out, "Anyway, I think it's jolly lucky Harry was able to explain it to the officers and get it sorted. Even the one you threatened to kiss was fine in the end."

    "That was just luck," said Harry modestly, "As soon as he came into the interview room with his coffee and I realised he was a fellow Blue Mountain skinny flat with a shot of hazelnut sort of guy I knew we had a connection. The rest was probably down to you two girls appealing to his better nature by asking for a towel to dry off your t shirts. I have to say this rain is pretty constant isn't it? Is it always like this in Edinburgh Jazzer?"

    "Rain?" Jazzer peered through the steamed up windscreen, " Ach, this isna rain. More like a passin' shower. Your trouble is youse all've got tae soft, tae used ta that southern jessie Ambridge weather. It'll clear up fine inna wee while, we just haveta sit it oot. "

    "If you say so, but actually I don't think we have the time to 'sit it out', we're only here for a couple of days remember." Harry wriggled into his well worn drizabone. "I'm going to scout around a bit and check out the other campers. You never know what sort of rough types end up on sites like this. Has anyone seen my notebook? Thanks . And my pen? I won't be long. I suggest you get the tent up while I'm gone Jazzer, then the girls can get on with rustling up a bit of supper. I don't know about the rest of you but I quite fancy a spanish omelette, tossed leaves with anchovy dressing and some walnut bread. I'm sure I noticed a little artisan bakery as we drove in. I'll go back and take a closer look."

    The door slammed behind him.

    "Tent? Whit tent? Are we no' all kippin' in here together like pals? I thought that wuz the point o' this trip, gettin' to know each other betta an' all?"

    The girls laughed heartily and exchanged a glance.

    "No Jazzer," explained Fallon, "You and Harry are sleeping in the tent, while Kirsty and I share the van. Here, it's easy enough to put up. I'll sort out a couple of mats and sleeping bags for you when you're ready."

    Jazzer took hold of the tent reluctantly. Then his eyes narrowed. "Whit's this?" he hissed. "Whit in heaven's name is this?"

    His hands shook.

    "It's my old tent," said Kirsty calmly.

    "It's pink." Jazzer stared at it bemused. "Are you expectin' me an' Harry to sleep inna pink tent the noo like a coupla nancy boys or summat? Supposin' some wan seez us? They might think we was more than pals if you get ma drift. Hoo am I expected to strike lucky if all I hev to offer is a pink girly tent wi' flowers an?"

    "Oh honestly Jazzer, do stop reverting to type. Harry's fine with the tent, we talked about it and he explained that as far as he was concerned sleeping in a pink tent for a couple of nights didn't affect his personal concept of his own sexuality in the slightest. So get over it. Anyway, this is Edinburgh, at festival time. No-ones cares what anyone gets up to."

    "Is that so," Jazzer smirked, "So duz thet mean thet when youse and Fallon are tucked up in youse jammies in the privacy o' this wee van of a night youse will be tekkin the opportunity to explore ........"

    The girls laughed heartily and exchanged a glance.

    " Oooh no." they chorused .

    Just then the door flung open and Harry scrambled back into the van drenching the others as he flicked his wet hair back into its usual sleek style. He looked worried.

    "Harry! What's wrong? " asked Fallon.

    "You look worried!" exclaimed Kirsty.

    "I don't want to worry you," he began, "But I've seen something rather unsettling........."

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  • Message 7

    , in reply to message 6.

    Posted by JustJanie - Fairweather Strider (U10822512) on Wednesday, 8th August 2012

    I say, Vicky, this is a jolly decent yarn. And that nice chap Keri has just tweeted it!

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  • Message 8

    , in reply to message 7.

    Posted by borchesterbouncer (U14738918) on Wednesday, 8th August 2012

    Yes just popped in to say you have been tweeted!

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  • Message 9

    , in reply to message 8.

    Posted by Vicky S (U2258400) on Thursday, 9th August 2012

    Thanks you two ( and Mr K), I've never been tweeted before. Does this mean that I could be come an overnight viral phenomenon and make millions from the collected edition of my FA posts? I'm wishing now I'd put more effort into the sex scenes, or indeed put in some sex scenes.............

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  • Message 10

    , in reply to message 9.

    Posted by typewright (U14048004) on Thursday, 9th August 2012

    Yes. And yes.

    I'm now waiting for 50 Shades of Grey Hair, starring Mr Pullen and Mrs Noakes.

    Now there's a thought...

    Report message10

  • Message 11

    , in reply to message 9.

    Posted by poodlesparlour (U13792095) on Friday, 17th August 2012

    Thanks you two ( and Mr K), I've never been tweeted before. Does this mean that I could be come an overnight viral phenomenon and make millions from the collected edition of my FA posts? I'm wishing now I'd put more effort into the sex scenes, or indeed put in some sex scenes.............

    Oh please Vicky, do! I think they should hire you as a SW.

    Thank you so much,

    Poodle x

    Report message11

  • Message 12

    , in reply to message 2.

    Posted by joe (U13868420) on Monday, 20th August 2012

    Oh, I hope they have packed sandwiches and lashings of Ginger Beer...  Which I suppose they did...

    Report message12

  • Message 13

    , in reply to message 11.

    Posted by LesleyJ (U15332343) on Monday, 20th August 2012

    Hilarious. I think you are one of the SW because as I was reading Jazzer and Kirsty's lines I could hear them speaking! Are you moonlighting?

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  • Message 14

    , in reply to message 13.

    Posted by waslantana (U15073790) on Wednesday, 29th August 2012

    Simply wizard, Vicky. Can we hope for an update?

    Report message14

  • Message 15

    , in reply to message 14.

    Posted by Deb Z (U2256349) on Wednesday, 12th September 2012

    Simply wizard, Vicky. Can we hope for an update?  Yeah and then what happened???? (Or should I have listened to [spit] Ambridge Extra)?

    Report message15

  • Message 16

    , in reply to message 15.

    Posted by Organoleptic Icon (U11219171) on Wednesday, 12th September 2012

    Simply wizard, Vicky. Can we hope for an update? Yeah and then what happened???? (Or should I have listened to [spit] Ambridge Extra)? 

    Do the deniers /still/ not know about you know who and you know who doing you know what you know where?

    Report message16

  • Message 17

    , in reply to message 16.

    Posted by Vicky S (U2258400) on Wednesday, 12th September 2012

    Sorry all, I've sort of lost the will with this one - I've tried a last epi where Old College Friend was found working in camp site chippie having let his buff body go the fried mars bar route, but my heart wasn't in it. Just feel completely hung out to dry by SWs, honestly, for years they give us plot twists that you can spot a mile off, then they throw a curve ball like this. I'm like Totally Gutted . Sick as a parrot ........ ect ect. Can't even rise to a limerick.......

    Report message17

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