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Phoebe explains her family

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Messages: 1 - 11 of 11
  • Message 1. 

    Posted by LaughingGas (U14852402) on Sunday, 29th July 2012

    On the flight home from South Africa, a nice person sitting next to Phoeve asks her about her family:

    Well on my mother’s side there is my uncle Adam. His Dad is not my grandfather – not sure who he is actually. And Uncle Adam has this really nice Irish Partner Ian who is a really great cook. Then there is my aunt Debbie. Her father has the same surname as Adam but she uses my real grandfather’s name. My Aunt Alice has the same biological parents as my mother. She’s married to the local farrier – he’s ok but some of his relations are a bit dodgy. His sister lives with a guy who is brother to her divorced husband. My uncle Ruahri is younger than me – half Irish, his mother who died is different from the mother of my mum and her other siblings. My Mum lives in South Africa and is married to a really nice African guy and I’ve got a half brother and sister there.

    My dad was never married to my mum. He married someone else and their daughter is my sister Abbie. My Dad’s family is quite small but I am expecting a new aunt or uncle quite soon.

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  • Message 2

    , in reply to message 1.

    Posted by Organoleptic Icon (U11219171) on Sunday, 29th July 2012

    Who needs laughing gas when we've got Laughing Gas to make us laugh? It's a gas.

    Report message2

  • Message 3

    , in reply to message 2.

    Posted by DSKIPJONES (U14823803) on Tuesday, 31st July 2012

    The Aldridge's - An Everyday Story of Dysfunctional Folk!

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  • Message 4

    , in reply to message 1.

    Posted by footintwocamps (U9458464) on Sunday, 5th August 2012

    On the flight home from South Africa, a nice person sitting next to Phoeve asks her about her family:

    Well on my mother’s side there is my uncle Adam. His Dad is not my grandfather – not sure who he is actually. And Uncle Adam has this really nice Irish Partner Ian who is a really great cook. Then there is my aunt Debbie. Her father has the same surname as Adam but she uses my real grandfather’s name. My Aunt Alice has the same biological parents as my mother. She’s married to the local farrier – he’s ok but some of his relations are a bit dodgy. His sister lives with a guy who is brother to her divorced husband. My uncle Ruahri is younger than me – half Irish, his mother who died is different from the mother of my mum and her other siblings. My Mum lives in South Africa and is married to a really nice African guy and I’ve got a half brother and sister there.

    My dad was never married to my mum. He married someone else and their daughter is my sister Abbie. My Dad’s family is quite small but I am expecting a new aunt or uncle quite soon.
     
    "Oh, and my Auntie Brenda has lived with a guy called Tom for ages. They're engaged but she gets really grumpy if anyone asks if they're going to get married soon. Tom had a brother, who got squashed by a tractor. It turns out he had a secret lovechild, whose Mum had another baby with an arsonist. And he's also got a sister who had a baby through a sperm donor. Before that she used to live with a man who shot himself.

    So I suppose we're just like any other family really. Except my Grandad has a glass eye"...

    Report message4

  • Message 5

    , in reply to message 4.

    Posted by Lilians twin (U4487710) on Sunday, 5th August 2012

    Seeing it all written down by laughinggas and footintwocamps it's abolutely ridiculous. Yet, developing over 40 years or so, it has all seemed quite ordinary.

    I now realise my own family and acquaintances are completely boring and lacking in any sort of adventurous spirit in their relationships.

    (3 SWs have now been read the thread and been admitted to secure institutions laughing and crying hysterically).

    Report message5

  • Message 6

    , in reply to message 4.

    Posted by strokecitydave (U5467417) on Monday, 6th August 2012

    Quelity thread - but sh'e forgetting th newly discovered Polish part of the family!

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  • Message 7

    , in reply to message 4.

    Posted by JoinedPeetsBoard_Smeesues_too (U14519481) on Thursday, 16th August 2012

    On the flight home from South Africa, a nice person sitting next to Phoeve asks her about her family:

    Well on my mother’s side there is my uncle Adam. His Dad is not my grandfather – not sure who he is actually. And Uncle Adam has this really nice Irish Partner Ian who is a really great cook. Then there is my aunt Debbie. Her father has the same surname as Adam but she uses my real grandfather’s name. My Aunt Alice has the same biological parents as my mother. She’s married to the local farrier – he’s ok but some of his relations are a bit dodgy. His sister lives with a guy who is brother to her divorced husband. My uncle Ruahri is younger than me – half Irish, his mother who died is different from the mother of my mum and her other siblings. My Mum lives in South Africa and is married to a really nice African guy and I’ve got a half brother and sister there.

    My dad was never married to my mum. He married someone else and their daughter is my sister Abbie. My Dad’s family is quite small but I am expecting a new aunt or uncle quite soon.
     
    "Oh, and my Auntie Brenda has lived with a guy called Tom for ages. They're engaged but she gets really grumpy if anyone asks if they're going to get married soon. Tom had a brother, who got squashed by a tractor. It turns out he had a secret lovechild, whose Mum had another baby with an arsonist. And he's also got a sister who had a baby through a sperm donor. Before that she used to live with a man who shot himself.

    So I suppose we're just like any other family really. Except my Grandad has a glass eye"... 
    Oh and my Uncle Chris ( husband of my mothers sister) has TWO uncles who are arsonists.

    You look confused! One of the arsonists is the one I've already mentioned - he is the the father of my second cousin Rich. I forgot to mention too that the Tom I've already spoken about (who is engaged to my Auntie Brenda) is my first cousin once removed .

    The second arsonist is the first one's brother though ..

    Would you like a barley sugar? You look a bit pale ..
    JPBS

    Report message7

  • Message 8

    , in reply to message 7.

    Posted by barwick_green (U2668006) on Friday, 7th September 2012

    ",,,,,Did I mention that Uncle Chris' uncles' dad used to beat one of his sons with a belt just for messing around in in his shed? And Chris' aunt lived for years with a man who turned out to be a serial rapist. One of his victims was the woman who was the landlady of the local pub who husband had an affair with the woman who know owns the pub together with a woman who partner went to jail for fraud?

    It's really boring in Ambridge which is why I went to South Africa you know,,,,,,"

    Report message8

  • Message 9

    , in reply to message 8.

    Posted by LaughingGas (U14852402) on Monday, 10th September 2012

    Love the responses to my first post. Thanks.

    It continues

    Are you feeiing a bit better now? I forgot to say that the sister of my aunt's husband, tha farrier, has two children. The father of the boy is her ex husband, the father of the girl is he ex brother in law so they are half brother and sister as well as being cousins.

    More barley sugar? We've still got a few hours to go.

    Report message9

  • Message 10

    , in reply to message 9.

    Posted by annamirabilis (U14338778) on Monday, 10th September 2012

    Fabulous, guys!!!! Made me laugh till I cried. Chair dampish too. Just what I needed after a day with 50 4 year olds.

    Report message10

  • Message 11

    , in reply to message 10.

    Posted by DSKIPJONES (U14823803) on Tuesday, 18th September 2012

    And don't let us forget Great Grandma whose husband lives in a home and is so confused he thinks she is an angle-poise lamp!

    Report message11

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