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Dear Kylie

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Messages: 1 - 18 of 18
  • Message 1. 

    Posted by Vicky S (U2258400) on Friday, 16th March 2012

    Dear Kylie, those Greek Tragedies can be very confusing. Here is a synopsis.

    Act 1

    Despair follows the untimely death of the eldest child in the Archipelago family as he is crushed by an over enthusiastic goddess disguised as an infernal machine . Driven mad by grief his mother, Queen Patras, leaves on a pilgrimage to distant hills but not before she has banished his former lover Sharonis, a lowly nymph, from the kingdom for all eternity. His father, King Moniyus retreats into his leek field and weeps silently, comforted only by the rough songs of the potato picker's chorus. The younger children are also mourning in their own way. Hellenic believes she can only live as a wraith and attempts to become one while Pigaelus swears to live with pigs until his brother's death is avenged through the accumulation of gold. The kingdom suffers plagues and floods of excrement .


    Act 2


    Hellenic forms an unlikely alliance with a bored God disguised as a turkey baster and gives birth to a child. Meanwhile Pigaelus blames Moniyus and Patras for his brother's death and berates them for allowing the kingdom to fall into disarray through their bad management. Patrus discovers that Sharonis has borne a child and believing that their bad luck will be broken if the child is restored to them persuades Moniyus to agree to this. Hellenic and Pigaelus accidentally learn of the plan to restore Sharonis' child to the kingdom and, fearing for their heritage, attempt to wrest control from them. But Moniyus falls ill and his life is only saved Pigaelus' intervention.

    Act 3

    Shocked by Moniyus' close encounter with death the family are temporarily reunited, Hellenic and Pigaelus agree that their brother's child can return to the kingdom. But when he arrives, Hellenic fears that he will compromise her child's inheritance so again allies herself with Pigaelus against their parents. They hatch a plot to kill the boy with poisoned food at a celebratory feast, sadly the plot misfires and Hellenic's child dies too. In her grief she throws herself into the Lagoon of Despair and is drowned. Pigaelus is savaged by his own pigs as he attempts to feed them cheese his sister had prepared earlier. Patrus vows that she will resume her pilgrimage and leaves for the mountains to live in a commune of holy women. Moniyus mends his glasses and goes out to trim his leeks.

    Report message1

  • Message 2

    , in reply to message 1.

    Posted by Elnora Cornstalk (U5646495) on Friday, 16th March 2012

    Genius, Vicky. I think this is one of my Favourites Ever. (I know I think that every time I read one of your works, but .. ) Kylie will get an Alpha Plus with this revision crib.

    Report message2

  • Message 3

    , in reply to message 1.

    Posted by FleetingEileenM (U14106338) on Friday, 16th March 2012

    I repeat: Snork, snork and thrice snork! One for each Act.

    Report message3

  • Message 4

    , in reply to message 1.

    Posted by Organoleptic Icon (U11219171) on Saturday, 17th March 2012

    very good. But I have a strong sense of ήδη φαίνεται (deja vue)

    Report message4

  • Message 5

    , in reply to message 4.

    Posted by waslantana (U15073790) on Saturday, 17th March 2012

    Sorry, Vicki, but I've read the third act, and I don't see why it's at all tragic.

    Report message5

  • Message 6

    , in reply to message 1.

    Posted by sunnysakasredux (U14979019) on Saturday, 17th March 2012

    Dear Vicky this is so promising as a tragedy. But the third act is just tragically funny!! The deaths are not painful enough! I think the outcome of the third act could be a tragedy if you just made the deaths more Greek. Pigaleus and Hellinic must keep suffering and the ungodly smelly cheesus. so a alpha minus and a bit of re-writing of the third act.
    a clue is in repetition, eternity of suffering. Plus Patrus needs more punishment.
    xxxx
    It is ROFLWST! you are soooooooo funny and good at this.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

    Report message6

  • Message 7

    , in reply to message 1.

    Posted by Pahnda (U14681704) on Saturday, 17th March 2012

    Great stuff Vicky, I heart Moniyus.

    Report message7

  • Message 8

    , in reply to message 1.

    Posted by Sturmey Archer (U2328688) on Monday, 19th March 2012

    I was unaware of this amazing fantasy until pointed in its direction earlier this evening. Utterly brilliant, and I look forward to the continuing saga. Many thanks, Vicky S. You're good! Damned good!

    - sa

    Report message8

  • Message 9

    , in reply to message 1.

    Posted by Otamot (U14934598) on Monday, 19th March 2012

    BRAVO!

    Report message9

  • Message 10

    , in reply to message 9.

    Posted by Vicky S (U2258400) on Tuesday, 20th March 2012

    Honestly lantana and Sunny, what are you two like? Still, I love you both, you ghouls, so for you, a revised Act 3.


    Shocked by Moniyus' close encounter with death the family are temporarily reunited, Hellenic and Pigaelus agree that their brother's child can return to the kingdom. But when he arrives, Hellenic fears that he will compromise her child's inheritance so again allies herself with Pigaelus against their parents. They hatch a plot to kill the boy with poisoned food at a celebratory feast, sadly the plot misfires and Hellenic's child dies too, possibly of a new strain of e coli. In her despair Hellenic becomes fixated by the vengeful ghost of her dead lover who goads her by constant reference to her singleton status on facebook , eventually she locks herself inside the dairy and tries to emulate his suicide. The attempt fails, and from being doggedly independant she is now left reliant on the help of others, a situation she finds intolerable. This further example of her ineptitude fuels her distress and grief and leaves her with an overwhelming compulsion to eat economy pork pies. Disgusted by her self image, she throws herself into the Lagoon of Despair hoping to drown, however she makes the mistake of taking a pork pie with her, as she sinks beneath the fetid surface the pork pie becomes stuck in her swan like throat and she chokes. That night Pigaelus is brutally savaged by his own pigs [ they use a 3 3 1 formation] as he attempts to cover their tracks by feeding them pure Mankwold, the deadly source of the poisoned cheese his sister had prepared earlier. His girlfriend, Brendova, slaughters the pigs and makes them into meat products as a tribute to him, ironically the resulting sausages and spicey meat balls sweep every prize known to man and Gods in the Organic food community and beyond. Brendova is subsequently courted by the demi God of the Underwoods who has been living among them disguised a simple slaughterman, they marry and live more or less happily ever after. Patrus vows that she will resume her pilgrimage and leaves for the mountains to live in a commune of holy women only to find that they have taken a vow of silence so her voice is silenced forever.

    Moniyus mends his glasses, goes out to trim the leeks, trips over an unseen veg box and stabs himself with his favourite leek trimming knife. As his life blood drains back to replenish the earth his harpie/gorgon sisters appear to divide the spoils of the kingdom between them.

    Report message10

  • Message 11

    , in reply to message 10.

    Posted by Sturmey Archer (U2328688) on Tuesday, 20th March 2012

    Wonderful!!!!


    …harpie/gorgon sisters appear… 

    I can almost hear the skirl o' the pipes playing "The Gay Gorgons" (Jazzer?. please - pretty please!!!) What a great start to Spring! Many thanks, I ♥ Vicky S. - you've made an old man very happy!!!

    - sa

    Report message11

  • Message 12

    , in reply to message 11.

    Posted by Sixties Relic SAVE ML (U13777237) on Tuesday, 20th March 2012

    "In her grief she throws herself into the Lagoon of Despair and is drowned. "


    Wonderful! I just love the Lagoon of Despair.....


    Report message12

  • Message 13

    , in reply to message 10.

    Posted by Sturmey Archer (U2328688) on Tuesday, 20th March 2012

    …and live more or less happily ever after… 

    Second reading: I think this might provide a germ of what might turn into a gem of an on-going story of privileged folk. BTW - I think the 3 3 1 formation might need to be explained (for the benefit of soccer-starved infidels such as this writer, who played cricket and rugger at skool, and whose only exposure to what is described as the world's most popular sport has been "Bend It Like Beckham").

    - sa

    Report message13

  • Message 14

    , in reply to message 13.

    Posted by sunnysakasredux (U14979019) on Tuesday, 20th March 2012

    I am not sure it is possible to explain vicky's 3 3 1 formation in terms of actual football! it is usual to have 10 players outside of the goal and 1 in goal! So perhaps Vicky thinks 22 pigs are not necessary to chew on Piglus? Not enough of him to go around.xx
    Vicky xx This is sooooooooo much better, more pain, more gain (for the furies who must be fed!) The gods are on the war path and must be avenged! Maybe it is time for the cows and sheep to take their revenge on Pip and Ruth!!! I like Josh and Ben though! Anyway it is brilliant and now deserves an alpha+ !! You are so talented. It is still a bit of a tragic comedy though! Perhaps Lynda, Vicky and Susan could sing the chorus!
    xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

    Report message14

  • Message 15

    , in reply to message 14.

    Posted by Sturmey Archer (U2328688) on Tuesday, 20th March 2012

    Not enough of him to go around. 

    You can't be talking about his ego then?

    - sa (who lives with 2 furries¹ who always need to be fed)

    ¹ fellow inmates Mr. Monty & Mr. Tumble (pics available on request)

    Report message15

  • Message 16

    , in reply to message 1.

    Posted by tisviv (U15188212) on Wednesday, 21st March 2012

    This is genius! Loved it.

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  • Message 17

    , in reply to message 16.

    Posted by waslantana (U15073790) on Wednesday, 21st March 2012

    My humble thanks, Vicki. I particularly liked the formation pigs and the appearance of the gorgon sisters at the end was worthy of Euripedes himself. Poor Monyius - still I am sure replenishing the earth is what he would have wanted.

    Report message17

  • Message 18

    , in reply to message 1.

    Posted by Deb Z (U2256349) on Friday, 23rd March 2012

    <quote>Hellenic forms an unlikely alliance with a bored God disguised as a turkey baster <\unquote>

    Classic!

    Deb

    Report message18

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