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Barf-arama

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Messages: 51 - 79 of 79
  • Message 51

    , in reply to message 48.

    Posted by wynkyn de worde (U14928439) on Wednesday, 19th September 2012

    Afternoon All,
    Not awwnlee woz it fantaaaaastick, pahnders, it sent WR into an awestruck swoon.

    Just why some posters are determined to defend the indefensible, unless they are SWs undercover, I have no idea.

    The idea that Dopey Drawers would take himself over to the LoLo gifte shoppe on a regular basis to drool over books and cards when all his spare time is taken up by fixing holes in fences and shoving his arm up cows' front bottoms is simply larfable.
    MJ 

    >>
    Just why some posters are determined to defend the indefensible, unless they are SWs undercover, I have no idea<<

    Is it possible to have a critical faculty bypass? Or be born without any critical faculty at all?

    Report message1

  • Message 52

    , in reply to message 46.

    Posted by irene (U14262395) on Wednesday, 19th September 2012

    yes it was, pahnda. i'm not surprised you cant remember ashok, ushas erstwhile fiance, he was so utterly dull. she had a lucky escape imo.

    Report message2

  • Message 53

    , in reply to message 52.

    Posted by SteveKills (U14949122) on Wednesday, 19th September 2012

    You are extremely fortunate, Pahndars. Ashok made Harry look positively charismatic and the late Phil a vibrant and entertaining raconteur. He was mind numbingly dull- the captain of all the Ambridge bores. He was a titan of tedium, a sultan of stolidity.

    Report message3

  • Message 54

    , in reply to message 49.

    Posted by JoinedPeetsBoard_Smeesues_too (U14519481) on Wednesday, 19th September 2012

    In spite of JPBS' sterling defence (as usual), it was entire pants and vom-inducing and really rather a shame - the 'feud' was actually quite amusing as DimDave struggled; pity it didn't ramble on in its unrealistic way for years and years.

    Awestruck WR is without question worse than honking or prurient WR and she was absolutely ghastly last night

    In my opinion

    xx 
    Not a defence - couldn't care less actually - I was remarking on other posters NIH view of the whole thing ..

    And as to being a script writer

    ha ha ha ..

    How about criticise the post and not the poster ..?
    JPBS

    Report message4

  • Message 55

    , in reply to message 53.

    Posted by wynkyn de worde (U14928439) on Wednesday, 19th September 2012

    There must be the equivalent of Mohs scale for archer dullness. 1 dullest to 10 brightest.

    My personal scale would encompass

    Harry ..3
    Ashoke... 2
    Spencer... 1

    Now where to put The Idot Welsh Barman?

    Report message5

  • Message 56

    , in reply to message 51.

    Posted by Lady Trudie Tilney Glorfindel Maldini (U2222312) on Wednesday, 19th September 2012

    Is it possible to have a critical faculty bypass? Or be born without any critical faculty at all? 

    is it possible to have a charm bypass? I completely disagree with JPBS on this one, I'm afraid Elizabeth is guilty of hoodwinking her gullible brother with her remaindered stock, but JPBS is allowed to say it how s/he heard it, if s/he wants.

    Report message6

  • Message 57

    , in reply to message 50.

    Posted by MsMumbo-Jumbo (U3613133) on Wednesday, 19th September 2012

    Good afternoon, Mumbers. Long time no parlare. I was put in mind of WRs paean of praise to shooting stars when on Lakey Hill and the rest of the country was enshrouded in thick fog.

    The thought that she seemed to be on the verge of orgasm when viewing a 1912 photograph made me wonder if she should cancel the trip away for a weekend of tickling and early nights and simply retire early to give the Old Borchester book a decent thumbing. 
    Afternoon backatcha Squire.

    My experience of these cheap Good Old Days stylee modest sized cheapo cheapo coffee table books is that grainy 1900s photos are just that: grainy. To say nothing of blurred in the case of any human subjects who didn't hold their breath.

    The likelihood of WR finding any resemblance between a besmocked straw-chewing blurry elderly yokel and her frightful sprog beggars belief.

    Unless, that is, he has a blurry sepia face.
    Which might explain it.

    We of course are completely in the dark as if Josh had been born with acute blurry-faced disease the odds that any buggre in the village would have remarked on it would be about a million to one.
    MJ

    Report message7

  • Message 58

    , in reply to message 56.

    Posted by JoinedPeetsBoard_Smeesues_too (U14519481) on Wednesday, 19th September 2012

    I think Elizabeth has enough resources to find a suitable book - the question is not that but if she keeps up her amiable attitude ..
    which she won't ..

    The book might even have come from the LoLo library .. or she might have got Lewis to get it for her ..
    JPBS

    Report message8

  • Message 59

    , in reply to message 52.

    Posted by Pahnda (U14681704) on Wednesday, 19th September 2012

    I can remember Ashok ... just .... but not the photos of the coos.

    And another thing, where was Miss Princess Perfect Bluddy Know-it-all on Daddy's birthday? In fact we haven't heard from her for ages, not that I'm complaining or anything.

    Report message9

  • Message 60

    , in reply to message 58.

    Posted by barwick_green (U2668006) on Wednesday, 19th September 2012

    < The book might even have come from the LoLo library .. or she might have got Lewis to get it for her ..>


    Lewis prefers dipping into 'Cottages of Borsetshire'.

    Report message10

  • Message 61

    , in reply to message 58.

    Posted by SteveKills (U14949122) on Wednesday, 19th September 2012

    The book might even have come from the LoLo library .. or she might have got Lewis to get it for her ..

    Where does it matter where it came from. Does anyone, other than you, even care?

    Report message11

  • Message 62

    , in reply to message 55.

    Posted by Mieteka (U14938651) on Wednesday, 19th September 2012

    HOw about in the Brokefield slurry pit/tank (whatever)?

    Once it is filled to a minimum depth of at least ten feet.

    Report message12

  • Message 63

    , in reply to message 57.

    Posted by SteveKills (U14949122) on Wednesday, 19th September 2012

    Very rarely does one see any teeth either, Mumbers, probably because all blurry faced peasants and even blokes in top hats kept their mouths clamped shut. I always suspect that the sight of blackened teeth, if indeed there were any, would not be appealing. hence the deeply serious looks.

    I like the idea of the clan having distinctive blurry faces though. You can always tell an Archer by the blurred look.

    Excellent.

    Report message13

  • Message 64

    , in reply to message 63.

    Posted by Pahnda (U14681704) on Wednesday, 19th September 2012

    I'll go with the blurry faces although in the case of Dave it is more like a blurry brain. My theory is that Josh holds the straw in his mouth at exactly the same angle as the bloke in the picture.

    Report message14

  • Message 65

    , in reply to message 58.

    Posted by Mieteka (U14938651) on Wednesday, 19th September 2012

    I think Elizabeth has enough resources to find a suitable book - the question is not that but if she keeps up her amiable attitude ..
    which she won't ..

    The book might even have come from the LoLo library .. or she might have got Lewis to get it for her ..
    JPBS 
    Indeed.
    Just as pigs may whistle, only the poor beasts have gey poor mouths for it.

    But let's cut to the chase and address the real point of interest: namely the thrills that lie in store now David has dicovered his burning passion for local history. My, I can hardly wait. Will this be a chance for JD to tout her credentials as official historian of Ambridge? Will David be struck by sudden rivalry and immerse himself in the county archives? And, most importantly, will first cousin once removed James reappear to do more to his own book.

    What unalloyed joys.

    Report message15

  • Message 66

    , in reply to message 63.

    Posted by barwick_green (U2668006) on Wednesday, 19th September 2012

    I wonder if back in 1912 John Archer's approach to farming was to 'muddle through, as always'? I doubt there would have been a farm left for David to run into the ground if his great-grandad, grandad Dan and father Phil had thought so negatively about their livliehood.

    Report message16

  • Message 67

    , in reply to message 64.

    Posted by SteveKills (U14949122) on Wednesday, 19th September 2012

    Josh chews on a strip of pizza carton, Pahndars.

    Report message17

  • Message 68

    , in reply to message 63.

    Posted by MsMumbo-Jumbo (U3613133) on Wednesday, 19th September 2012

    And they all spoke like Joyce and Arthur.
    MJ

    Report message18

  • Message 69

    , in reply to message 64.

    Posted by wynkyn de worde (U14928439) on Wednesday, 19th September 2012

    I'll go with the blurry faces although in the case of Dave it is more like a blurry brain. My theory is that Josh holds the straw in his mouth at exactly the same angle as the bloke in the picture.  I have this image of Dopey Dave being clocked with a large cast iron frying pan in the hands of his ever lovieng Sis a la Tom & Gerry

    I wish

    Bloody photo book Pah!

    Report message19

  • Message 70

    , in reply to message 65.

    Posted by SteveKills (U14949122) on Wednesday, 19th September 2012

    Unalloyed indeed, Mieters. I had forgotten all about the utterly preposterous James and the equally ridiculous Snell girl. They should be brought back on for another large poultice of cutting edge drama. If we can fit Arthur and Joyce, Ilona and my Derryl- ee zuch goot men- and a cameo from Rhys in one and the same episode I fear I may not be able to contain myself.

    Report message20

  • Message 71

    , in reply to message 70.

    Posted by MsMumbo-Jumbo (U3613133) on Wednesday, 19th September 2012

    Nor my bucket contain my barf, Squire.
    Is it just me or does anyone else find it as difficult to decipher what Rhys is saying as Jazzer?
    Though I dont think the souind of my grinding teeth helps.
    MJ

    Report message21

  • Message 72

    , in reply to message 66.

    Posted by Fi of little faith (U14298768) on Wednesday, 19th September 2012

    Is this the one that was the spit of young Josh?

    I expect if they look harder they'll find a sepia image of a short rather ugly young woman counting blades of grass

    Report message22

  • Message 73

    , in reply to message 71.

    Posted by SteveKills (U14949122) on Wednesday, 19th September 2012

    Nor my bucket contain my barf, Squire.
    Is it just me or does anyone else find it as difficult to decipher what Rhys is saying as Jazzer?
    Though I dont think the souind of my grinding teeth helps.
    MJ 
    It really is time for Jazzer, Chuckles O' Baster and Oliver Foxbreath to walk into the pub just so we can start the joke.....

    Report message23

  • Message 74

    , in reply to message 70.

    Posted by Mieteka (U14938651) on Wednesday, 19th September 2012

    Unalloyed indeed, Mieters. I had forgotten all about the utterly preposterous James and the equally ridiculous Snell girl. They should be brought back on for another large poultice of cutting edge drama. If we can fit Arthur and Joyce, Ilona and my Derryl- ee zuch goot men- and a cameo from Rhys in one and the same episode I fear I may not be able to contain myself.  In that eventuality I fear I may have a little accident, Squire.

    Luckily I have a puppy pad left over (from housetraining the dog), kept in case of just such an eventuality.

    Report message24

  • Message 75

    , in reply to message 74.

    Posted by Fi of little faith (U14298768) on Wednesday, 19th September 2012

    A puppy pad. Well that’s a new one on me. Isn’t the point of puppy training that it is trained to know where to go, such as a designated piece of newspaper or, eventually outside?

    What a pity Feeble Freddy had not had a puppy for Christmas, unloaded a Landrover full of them and forgotten to shift them to the designated dog accident device room. Nice soft landing and wee-soaking capability: win-win

    Report message25

  • Message 76

    , in reply to message 75.

    Posted by Mieteka (U14938651) on Wednesday, 19th September 2012

    A Bore wirtes: Puppy pads are quite big (about 2 foot by three foot) and highly absorbent - you put them in the corner of the room and the puppy wees on them, because they have this scent that attracts them. Much handier than newspaper and they don't smell either.

    Report message26

  • Message 77

    , in reply to message 76.

    Posted by Fi of little faith (U14298768) on Wednesday, 19th September 2012

    Good god, that's genius. I was thinking along the lines of them being attached to the dog. "And SHE calls David thick" they all shout.

    Report message27

  • Message 78

    , in reply to message 65.

    Posted by JoinedPeetsBoard_Smeesues_too (U14519481) on Wednesday, 19th September 2012

    I think Elizabeth has enough resources to find a suitable book - the question is not that but if she keeps up her amiable attitude ..
    which she won't ..

    The book might even have come from the LoLo library .. or she might have got Lewis to get it for her ..
    JPBS 
    Indeed.
    Just as pigs may whistle, only the poor beasts have gey poor mouths for it.

    But let's cut to the chase and address the real point of interest: namely the thrills that lie in store now David has dicovered his burning passion for local history. My, I can hardly wait. Will this be a chance for JD to tout her credentials as official historian of Ambridge? Will David be struck by sudden rivalry and immerse himself in the county archives? And, most importantly, will first cousin once removed James reappear to do more to his own book.

    What unalloyed joys. 
    What are you talking about?

    Please translate ..
    JPBS

    Report message28

  • Message 79

    , in reply to message 78.

    Posted by Mieteka (U14938651) on Wednesday, 19th September 2012

    Which bit would you like translated, Bunners?
    Hazarding a guess that it is part 1 of my post, the rough translation is "while you might think that [the book might have come from the library etc] - I couldn't possibly comment.
    As in - pigs might be able to whistle, if only their mouths were not entirely the wrong shape for such an exercise.

    Report message29

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