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HE FINALLY SAID IT!

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Messages: 151 - 200 of 203
  • Message 151

    , in reply to message 124.

    Posted by StargazerwithOscar (U14668197) on Saturday, 9th June 2012

    I think she just has a seriously over-inflated sense of entitlement, and I don't think that is a symptom of mental illness.
     

    That's it, for me. She is utterly delusional and precious. She talks about Carl's feelings for her in the present tense, fgs. The majority of us would have taken the 'hint' by now. I /do/ think she is well acted. In fact, I think that the acting throughout this has been rather good.
    Soo  


    Yes, it's been how long? now, and he hasn't come back to her, saying he's changed his mind and can't live without her (probably the stuff of her fantasies). You really would think she would "get it", wouldn't you?

    Report message1

  • Message 152

    , in reply to message 150.

    Posted by JoinedPeetsBoard_Smeesues_too (U14519481) on Saturday, 9th June 2012

    Far more importantly Amy has forgotten her MOTHERS story - to come out of Borstal after all that and lead a good and productive life - should make her ashamed.

    After all - Amy has only had a failed love affair - no matter how long it has lasted. I think her mind-set is paranoid and deluded - she should be persuaded to go to her GP
    JPBS

    Report message2

  • Message 153

    , in reply to message 152.

    Posted by Chris Ghoti (U10794176) on Saturday, 9th June 2012

    I do not subscribe to the idea that anyone who is being nasty is therefore mentally aberrant. I think it means that the person is being nasty. Nasty does not mean mentally ill; it mean nasty.

    The immediate connection many people make between "nasty" and "mental health issues" definitely implies that they think there is a link between mental health issues and being nasty.

    This is not a very pleasant connection to make, from the point of view of many of the people who happen to have mental health issues.

    Somebody with mental health issues is quite likely to be less able than most to come to terms with being in effect accused of being nasty *as* *well* *as* their own problems, which may well include extreme lack of self-esteem and no sense of self-worth even before this sort of assumption is bandied about.

    Amy does not need a GP. She needs kicking.

    If she turns out to have a mental disorder and the only real symptom of it is that she started to behave in a very nasty way, well thanks editorial team, I'm sure that one in five or more of the population who have needed treatment for one mental problem or another will be really glad about that little bit of stereotyping.

    Report message3

  • Message 154

    , in reply to message 153.

    Posted by StargazerwithOscar (U14668197) on Saturday, 9th June 2012

    I think if she went to her GP she would be referred for counselling initially, rather than, for example, be offered medication at this stage. She may as well phone the Samaritans.

    Report message4

  • Message 155

    , in reply to message 154.

    Posted by Elasticwoman (U14774739) on Saturday, 9th June 2012

    Do people phone the Samaritans because they are feeling angry? I don't think so.

    I agree that this has nothing to do with mental health issues. What would Amy say if she went to the doctor: "Please help me to stop my aggressive and irrational behaviour. Please stop my paranoid delusions"? If she had that much self knowledge she could do it herself.

    Report message5

  • Message 156

    , in reply to message 155.

    Posted by StargazerwithOscar (U14668197) on Saturday, 9th June 2012

    Do people phone the Samaritans because they are feeling angry? I don't think so 

    Oh, I think they probably do.

    Report message6

  • Message 157

    , in reply to message 153.

    Posted by Lady Trudie Tilney Glorfindel Maldini (U2222312) on Saturday, 9th June 2012

    If she turns out to have a mental disorder and the only real symptom of it is that she started to behave in a very nasty way, well thanks editorial team 


    But it's not - many posters have said that she is being irrational and delusional, both of which can be signs of mental illness.


    And nasty people can have a mental illness, as well as nice ones.

    Report message7

  • Message 158

    , in reply to message 157.

    Posted by JoinedPeetsBoard_Smeesues_too (U14519481) on Saturday, 9th June 2012

    Hear hear ..

    I was not going by the nastiness (as I said). I was going by the fact that she was "away with the fairies" as far as Carl and his family are concerned and is paranoid about Usha. Someone "having an agenda" and "trying to drive a wedge between us" sounds suspicious ..
    JPBS

    Report message8

  • Message 159

    , in reply to message 155.

    Posted by Lady Trudie Tilney Glorfindel Maldini (U2222312) on Saturday, 9th June 2012

    What would Amy say if she went to the doctor: "Please help me to stop my aggressive and irrational behaviour. Please stop my paranoid delusions"? If she had that much self knowledge she could do it herself. 


    Not strictly true, any more than a someone with diabetes can stop being diabetic just by doing it themselves.

    Report message9

  • Message 160

    , in reply to message 159.

    Posted by Chris Ghoti (U10794176) on Saturday, 9th June 2012

    If everyone who was being nasty about something went to the GP, GPs would have no time to deal with diabetes. (Or measles or dandruff or heart failure or anything else that falls within their remit).

    Report message10

  • Message 161

    , in reply to message 152.

    Posted by Mieteka (U14938651) on Saturday, 9th June 2012

    Neat point. Her mother got on with life - Amy is wallowing in her 'grief' and being totally self-indulgent, which would be OK for a week or so.

    But so far we've seen her get dumped, then find out that Carl was married and that Usha knew and transfer all her anger onto Usha, thereby totally (and conveniently) forgetting that Carl dumped her after a brief affair that she had blown out of all proportion. This is not a person who is able to think clearly and Amy is behaving like a teenager, and a spoilt, indulged, thoroughly nasty one at that.

    Now she is showing her true colours, and probably saying things she has let fester for years, eating away at her. the judgemental side of Amy is once again coming well and truly to the fore as her bitterness about Usha explodes. There is no excuse for what she has said to Usha, nor can it ever be 'apologised' away. It was said with malice aforethough and shows just how depraved her character is.Nasty, vindictive little madam. I hope Alan finds out exactly what Amy said and tells her that he is ashamed of her.

    I don't think anything about Amy's behaviour suggests depression, but she may have some deep-rooted phsychological problems, which might explain why she's never had a relationship before and is unable to put this one with Carl into perspective. Because if after all this time she cannot see that she was just used by Carl, then she's never going to be able to move on.

    Report message11

  • Message 162

    , in reply to message 160.

    Posted by JoinedPeetsBoard_Smeesues_too (U14519481) on Saturday, 9th June 2012

    But it is NOT about her being nasty - it is about her deluded imaginings about Carl and her paranoid attitude to Usha which others should be concerned about.

    For doubtless Amy thinks she is perfectly reasonable and rational..
    JPBS

    Report message12

  • Message 163

    , in reply to message 153.

    Posted by nesta vipers (U2256451) on Saturday, 9th June 2012

    > She needs kicking<

    You have often proved yourself to be a perceptive poster, but never more than with above assessment

    Report message13

  • Message 164

    , in reply to message 162.

    Posted by Chris Ghoti (U10794176) on Saturday, 9th June 2012

    I would hesitate to diagnose being nasty to and about someone as "paranoid", myself, nor the sexual delusions of a rather immature woman as being a sign of mental illness.

    Report message14

  • Message 165

    , in reply to message 164.

    Posted by JoinedPeetsBoard_Smeesues_too (U14519481) on Saturday, 9th June 2012

    She is not just nasty though - she thinks Usha is out to get her in some way. She has said this quite calmly to Alice - to the latter's surprised incredulity.

    It is also the unreal way she goes on about Carl to Alice - completely irrational/delusional and (to me) creepy.
    JPBS

    Report message15

  • Message 166

    , in reply to message 164.

    Posted by Lady Trudie Tilney Glorfindel Maldini (U2222312) on Saturday, 9th June 2012

    No one's diagnosing, Chris, just talking about possibilities. What I'm referring to are just odd hints in the dialogue, and may or may not be relevant, too early to tell. And again - I don't mean her nasty behaviour, I mean the way she has talked about Carl recently.

    Paranoia and delusional thinking are medical terms and are indeed symptoms of certain illnesses.

    Report message16

  • Message 167

    , in reply to message 166.

    Posted by Chris Ghoti (U10794176) on Saturday, 9th June 2012

    Yes; and my objection continues to be to the "she is nasty so she must be mentally ill" stuff that has been being put up in DTA. The two conditions do not overlap completely. Nasty people are not always ill, ill people are not always nasty. When an actual condition such as depression is mentioned as well, it becomes too close to the silly witch-hunt suffered by schizophrenics for me to feel comfortable about it. (Not all schizophrenics are violent, though you wouldn't know that if you read the tabloid papers. But at least they are not yet saying that all violent people must be schizophrenic!) Hence my protest.

    Let's move on to "violence is hereditary", shall we?

    Report message17

  • Message 168

    , in reply to message 167.

    Posted by JoinedPeetsBoard_Smeesues_too (U14519481) on Saturday, 9th June 2012

    Yes; and my objection continues to be to the "she is nasty so she must be mentally ill" stuff that has been being put up in DTA. The two conditions do not overlap completely. Nasty people are not always ill, ill people are not always nasty. When an actual condition such as depression is mentioned as well, it becomes too close to the silly witch-hunt suffered by schizophrenics for me to feel comfortable about it. (Not all schizophrenics are violent, though you wouldn't know that if you read the tabloid papers. But at least they are not yet saying that all violent people must be schizophrenic!) Hence my protest.

    Let's move on to "violence is hereditary", shall we? 
    But we are NOT making the connection

    "she is nasty so she MUST be ill" (my caps)

    we are making the connection

    "She is delusional and paranoid so she MIGHT be mentally ill"

    Quite different (IMHO) .. though of course only an expert could tell - and time as well
    JPBS

    Report message18

  • Message 169

    , in reply to message 167.

    Posted by Lady Trudie Tilney Glorfindel Maldini (U2222312) on Saturday, 9th June 2012



    Yes; and my objection continues to be to the "she is nasty so she must be mentally ill" stuff that has been being put up in DTA.  


    Fair enough - we are talking about completely different things then.

    Report message19

  • Message 170

    , in reply to message 169.

    Posted by The Famous But Disillusioned with the BBC Eccles (U219998) on Saturday, 9th June 2012

    No doubt about it - she's barking!

    Roy ; )

    Report message20

  • Message 171

    , in reply to message 151.

    Posted by Muffcat (U14146906) on Saturday, 9th June 2012

    I think she just has a seriously over-inflated sense of entitlement, and I don't think that is a symptom of mental illness.
     

    That's it, for me. She is utterly delusional and precious. She talks about Carl's feelings for her in the present tense, fgs. The majority of us would have taken the 'hint' by now. I /do/ think she is well acted. In fact, I think that the acting throughout this has been rather good.
    Soo  


    Yes, it's been how long? now, and he hasn't come back to her, saying he's changed his mind and can't live without her (probably the stuff of her fantasies). You really would think she would "get it", wouldn't you?  
    In my opinion Amy has all the signs of being a Bunny Boiler. Heaven help Carl if she ever catches sight of him - or his wife - and Heaven help the next man she falls for.

    Report message21

  • Message 172

    , in reply to message 170.

    Posted by nesta vipers (U2256451) on Saturday, 9th June 2012

    No doubt about it - she's barking!

    Roy ; ) 
    oh yes, this is the sort of in-depth diagnosis I like to hear!

    Report message22

  • Message 173

    , in reply to message 172.

    Posted by The Famous But Disillusioned with the BBC Eccles (U219998) on Saturday, 9th June 2012

    No doubt about it - she's barking!

    Roy ; ) 
    oh yes, this is the sort of in-depth diagnosis I like to hear! 

    That's the service you get when you go "private"...!

    Roy ; )

    Report message23

  • Message 174

    , in reply to message 173.

    Posted by soobeesomewhere_or_other_soon (U14156736) on Saturday, 9th June 2012

    Starting a whip-round for the fees.....
    10p, anyone?
    Soo

    Report message24

  • Message 175

    , in reply to message 173.

    Posted by nesta vipers (U2256451) on Saturday, 9th June 2012

    No doubt about it - she's barking!

    Roy ; ) 
    oh yes, this is the sort of in-depth diagnosis I like to hear! 

    That's the service you get when you go "private"...!

    Roy ; ) 
    Worth every penny!

    Report message25

  • Message 176

    , in reply to message 174.

    Posted by The Famous But Disillusioned with the BBC Eccles (U219998) on Saturday, 9th June 2012

    Starting a whip-round for the fees.....
    10p, anyone?
    Soo  


    Ooooh! Forget the fees, I'll have the whip-round!

    Roy ; )

    Report message26

  • Message 177

    , in reply to message 1.

    Posted by 3doorsdown (U15301665) on Saturday, 9th June 2012

    I wish they'd get rid of moaning, self obsessed Amy. She's more childish than the babies she helps deliver!

    Report message27

  • Message 178

    , in reply to message 176.

    Posted by soobeesomewhere_or_other_soon (U14156736) on Saturday, 9th June 2012

    We might require a semblance of professional nous. To keep it real.....
    Oh, dos it. Have the whip-round and kick her into touch, Roy. But not anywhere near me. I won't be responsible.
    Soo

    Report message28

  • Message 179

    , in reply to message 178.

    Posted by The Famous But Disillusioned with the BBC Eccles (U219998) on Saturday, 9th June 2012

    Ah, that could be a clue to the development of the plot. Kick her into touch, eh? Suggests rugby, which suggests a Welsh chap. Poor old Rhys to cop off with Amy? Mind you, the poor lad's done nothing to me...

    Roy ; )

    Report message29

  • Message 180

    , in reply to message 179.

    Posted by soobeesomewhere_or_other_soon (U14156736) on Saturday, 9th June 2012

    Rhys is so oblivious that he might not notice her rabid glare.
    He's done nothing to/for me either. Fair game.
    Soo

    Report message30

  • Message 181

    , in reply to message 178.

    Posted by Chris Ghoti (U10794176) on Saturday, 9th June 2012

    Oooh, Soo, if you won't be responsible does that mean that you'll be irresponsible?

    Report message31

  • Message 182

    , in reply to message 181.

    Posted by soobeesomewhere_or_other_soon (U14156736) on Saturday, 9th June 2012

    Nope.
    Night.
    Soo x

    Report message32

  • Message 183

    , in reply to message 170.

    Posted by chuckles (U15271883) on Saturday, 9th June 2012

    It feels to me like she is heading for a breakdown!

    Report message33

  • Message 184

    , in reply to message 151.

    Posted by inthecountry (U15302056) on Sunday, 10th June 2012

    I think she just has a seriously over-inflated sense of entitlement, and I don't think that is a symptom of mental illness.
     

    That's it, for me. She is utterly delusional and precious. She talks about Carl's feelings for her in the present tense, fgs. The majority of us would have taken the 'hint' by now. I /do/ think she is well acted. In fact, I think that the acting throughout this has been rather good.
    Soo  


    Yes, it's been how long? now, and he hasn't come back to her, saying he's changed his mind and can't live without her (probably the stuff of her fantasies). You really would think she would "get it", wouldn't you?  
    Sometimes these women don't get it - that's the trouble. The 50 yr old (YES 50) woman my husband had a brief affair with didn't stop trying to contact him for over a year with pathetic juvenile texts and Facebook statuses. All this after he cut off all contact the moment I found out. I've found this storyline difficult to listen to but believable. The woman in our case was a supposed family friend and she was full of the same drivel Amy is spouting.

    Report message34

  • Message 185

    , in reply to message 184.

    Posted by JoinedPeetsBoard_Smeesues_too (U14519481) on Sunday, 10th June 2012

    I'm sorry to hear your story .. hope you never see this woman again... RL can be a bummer ..

    AS to RL - a poster started a thread about a neighbour's relative - story almost identical to the TA one. Daughter in 20s had love affair with chap- she was "besotted" with him. Step-ma over-heard a dubious telephone conversation this man had - but said nothing. After a bit dubious chap dumped besotted one. .. Girl devastated - so Step-ma relates dubious conversation.. Step-daughter in strop with Step-ma ever since. Girls father weak and wooly about it - at least Alan has put his foot down ..
    JPBS

    Report message35

  • Message 186

    , in reply to message 136.

    Posted by anna kist (U2314477) on Sunday, 10th June 2012

    Gawd how much more is Usha supposed to take from another adult in her own home? Sorry if either of my stepsons treated me like Amy has treated Usha I would show them the door if o/h didn't [can't imagine he would put up with her nonsense either]

    Report message36

  • Message 187

    , in reply to message 186.

    Posted by StargazerwithOscar (U14668197) on Monday, 11th June 2012

    I know, Anna, amazing! This is the woman who notably takes no nonsense from anyone, making it clear to Richard that he fell far short of acceptability as a partner without actually going so far as to end the relationship, then storming off to Shula's stables and giving her what for loudly and very publicly (and mistakenly too, as it happened). And yet she allows this spoilt chit of a girl, with the slightest of justifiable grievances against her, to make her life a misery. Incredible! I wouldn't tolerate it either.

    Report message37

  • Message 188

    , in reply to message 187.

    Posted by anna kist (U2314477) on Monday, 11th June 2012

    She has obviously lost her sense of proportion in her more mature years, Star.

    Report message38

  • Message 189

    , in reply to message 188.

    Posted by BlueLagoon (U14269215) on Monday, 11th June 2012

    Pleeease let Carl's wife be pregnant with a much wanted baby. Please let her go into labour on Amy's shift and that Carl be so concerned and loved up with his wife he doesn't even notice Amy's quivering, pouty lip as she delivers the placenta.

    Report message39

  • Message 190

    , in reply to message 189.

    Posted by hiya_loxley (U2274305) on Monday, 11th June 2012

    Saying 'you don't love her, you love me...'

    Report message40

  • Message 191

    , in reply to message 187.

    Posted by JoinedPeetsBoard_Smeesues_too (U14519481) on Monday, 11th June 2012

    Usha has learned - sometimes sounding off is NOT a good idea ..

    Sometimes a dignified silence is better ..

    Amy is showing herself up quite adequately .. no need anyone else to say anything
    JPBS

    Report message41

  • Message 192

    , in reply to message 191.

    Posted by anna kist (U2314477) on Monday, 11th June 2012

    She might be showing herself up but there is no reason why Usha should tolerate her behaviour. She is not a child and has no right to live in their house. She is a guest in their lives and should act like one or get out. As I said before I would not tolerate this sort of behaviour from any adult.

    Report message42

  • Message 193

    , in reply to message 192.

    Posted by JoinedPeetsBoard_Smeesues_too (U14519481) on Monday, 11th June 2012

    But it would be counterproductive throwing her out .. just add to her paranoia.

    And they are not tolerating her rudeness - Alan has just torn a strip off her - and should continue to do so if she continues to behave as she has.

    So far as Alan and Usha are concerned the issue is the rift between themselves and Amy - they don't want to widen it.

    If Amy leaves on her own account - fair enough. But to throw her out - no.
    JPBS

    Report message43

  • Message 194

    , in reply to message 192.

    Posted by JustJanie - Fairweather Strider (U10822512) on Monday, 11th June 2012

    << I would not tolerate this sort of behaviour from any adult. >>

    Yes, it really ought to be very simple, oughtn't it? Alan can love his daughter and still insist she treats his wife with respect - or leave. Not even necessary to say 'or leave'. That would be implicit in the word 'insist'.

    Why is he so terrified she'll storm out again? If she does and wears out her welcome with Chris and Alice, as she surely will, well, she has a job with a decent salary. She's not going to end up on the streets.

    I know I was critical of the way the Dopeys handled Pip in her Jude phase but at least they had some reason to be worried about what might happen to her if she ran way in a temper at 17 with her education incomplete. (Though Lizzie, delighted to drive a wedge between the Dopeys and their daughter, would have taken her in of course.)

    Report message44

  • Message 195

    , in reply to message 194.

    Posted by JoinedPeetsBoard_Smeesues_too (U14519481) on Monday, 11th June 2012

    If she moved out of her own accord - that would give them *all* breathing space.

    However I think she should do it - not them push her .. Alan has pretty much laid the law down now so it might well come to that ..
    JPBS

    Report message45

  • Message 196

    , in reply to message 195.

    Posted by Chris Ghoti (U10794176) on Monday, 11th June 2012

    JPBS, I seem to remember that you thought that if Amy moved out even of her own accord nothing would be imroved because it would sour relations between Usha and Alan. Was it her being even nastier to Usha, and ever more obvious about her nastiness so that even Alan eventually noticed, that changed your mind?

    Report message46

  • Message 197

    , in reply to message 196.

    Posted by JustJanie - Fairweather Strider (U10822512) on Monday, 11th June 2012

    << if Amy moved out even of her own accord nothing would be imroved because it would sour relations between Usha and Alan. >>

    I think Buns had a point. If Amy had moved out in the early days of the row while Alan was still angry at Usha, she would have forever been blamed for the estrangement.

    << her being even nastier to Usha, and ever more obvious about her nastiness so that even Alan eventually noticed >>

    It was wise, in my opinion, for Usha to bide her time and wait for Amy either to come round or get so nasty that even Alan could see. By heroically refraining from criticizing Amy she has allowed Alan to reach his own conclusions. NOW, it seems to me, is the time for Alan to insist on a change in attitude. As I said on another thread, there doesn't have to be an 'or else' - just a firm statement that this is what must happen in this house. I should think even Amy would get the message.

    Report message47

  • Message 198

    , in reply to message 196.

    Posted by JoinedPeetsBoard_Smeesues_too (U14519481) on Tuesday, 12th June 2012

    Yes - I DID think that - in the early days. Now I think that things are so bad that a move would be a relief ..

    I still think a move out in the early days would not have been good - but now Amy has shown her hand.

    Its like a game of chance - Amy bet everything on her father sticking up for her if there was a stand off. Now its come and he hasn't. She has no more cards now - and she can't say she wasn't given every chance to quietly let it all drop.
    JPBS



    Report message48

  • Message 199

    , in reply to message 193.

    Posted by anna kist (U2314477) on Tuesday, 12th June 2012

    But she has no right to interfere in their lives the way she does. Does Usha know what Alan said to Amy? Did he bother to tell her? From Usha's pov she is getting little or no support from her husband. The longer Amy stays the more damage she causes just by her presence. And by this point I wouldn't care whether Amy gets more paranoid or not. She would no longer be my problem.

    I think Usha will snap and tell her to go if she can't be civil. Bunter is too weak to do it,

    Report message49

  • Message 200

    , in reply to message 199.

    Posted by JoinedPeetsBoard_Smeesues_too (U14519481) on Tuesday, 12th June 2012

    I agree that they shouldn't let her interfere in their lives.

    As to whether Usha knows what was said - am sure Alan would tell her he has had "words" with her.

    Amy knows now that Alan will not ":side" with her over Usha ... In fact she already thinks there is a "rift" between herself and Alan - though fomented by Usha rather than caused by herself.
    JPBS

    Report message50

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