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I'm supporting Usha

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Messages: 1 - 50 of 207
  • Message 1. 

    Posted by Purple_Hay (U14319650) on Sunday, 6th May 2012

    Given who she is dealing with.

    Report message1

  • Message 2

    , in reply to message 1.

    Posted by Lowena (U14575314) on Sunday, 6th May 2012

    So am I

    Report message2

  • Message 3

    , in reply to message 2.

    Posted by Auntie Molly (U14110968) on Sunday, 6th May 2012

    So am I. She meant well.

    Report message3

  • Message 4

    , in reply to message 1.

    Posted by Reggie_the_Veggie (U15164766) on Sunday, 6th May 2012

    Same here

    Report message4

  • Message 5

    , in reply to message 1.

    Posted by Dragonfly (U2223700) on Sunday, 6th May 2012

    I'm not. I think it was quite wrong for her to tell Ruth before she told Alan &/or Amy.

    Report message5

  • Message 6

    , in reply to message 1.

    Posted by evilauntie (U14407879) on Sunday, 6th May 2012

    Someone has to, her husband isn't. Thanks a bunch, Bunter! Anyway how old is Amy? 15? What's the betting if Usha had attempted to broach the subject of Carl's, ahem, arrangements, she would have got the "you're not my mum you can't tell me what to do" speech. And stop apologising, Usha!

    Report message6

  • Message 7

    , in reply to message 5.

    Posted by mademoiselledecompost (U14526349) on Sunday, 6th May 2012

    Agreed,she should have told her but don't agree with her now being the hate fugure.

    The wicked Stepmother? I don't think so.

    Report message7

  • Message 8

    , in reply to message 5.

    Posted by Bruxanna Grips With Her Heels In A Galloping Trot (U13759521) on Sunday, 6th May 2012

    I could feel my blood pressure going through the roof. All that drivel abot not being able to find the time to tell Alan, or Amy, yet she blapped it to Ruth first opportunity she got.

    I hope she gets what she deserves.

    Report message8

  • Message 9

    , in reply to message 5.

    Posted by KT (U1158731) on Sunday, 6th May 2012

    << I think it was quite wrong for her to tell Ruth before she told Alan &/or Amy. >>

    Perhaps the SW's can arrange for Amy to find out about that too - in fact her news could be half way round the village by now!

    But other than that, I back Usha, certainly against the blame coming at her from her sanctimonious husband.

    Report message9

  • Message 10

    , in reply to message 9.

    Posted by footintwocamps (U9458464) on Sunday, 6th May 2012

    << I think it was quite wrong for her to tell Ruth before she told Alan &/or Amy. >>

    Perhaps the SW's can arrange for Amy to find out about that too - in fact her news could be half way round the village by now!

    But other than that, I back Usha, certainly against the blame coming at her from her sanctimonious husband.  
    When you get married, in fact if you commit to anyone and mean it, then that person should become your best friend and confidant.

    If Usha could find time to tell Ruth she could have found time to tell Alan. Correction, she should have found time to tell Alan. It would then have been his call.

    First rule of being a step-parent :- don't take the big decisions yourself.

    Report message10

  • Message 11

    , in reply to message 10.

    Posted by evilauntie (U14407879) on Sunday, 6th May 2012

    Wasn't Alan away when Carl's marital status was revealed? Saying that, in an ideal world Usha would have told Alan straight away on his return, they could have talked to Amy together...and then Amy would have had a massive strop anyway. "You're lying!! I hate you!!" contd. p94

    Report message11

  • Message 12

    , in reply to message 7.

    Posted by JustJanie - Fairweather Strider (U10822512) on Sunday, 6th May 2012

    << The wicked Stepmother? I don't think so. >>

    No, just really, really thick. What a blunder, NOT telling Amy or Alan AND telling Ruth!! I suppose they'll never find out about that last bit, though.

    If she keeps bleating, "I meant it for the best' that isn't going to help because it'll sound as though she still thinks she was right. She needs to have a bit of humility for once and apologise to them both.

    Humility not being her strong point, it will be interesting to see what happens next.

    Report message12

  • Message 13

    , in reply to message 5.

    Posted by cath (U2234232) on Sunday, 6th May 2012

    > I think it was quite wrong for her to tell Ruth before she told Alan &/or Amy.<

    I agree in spades. I thoroughly enjoyed Amy and Bunter shouting at Usha and thought it served her right. How she even came up with the idea that Amy might have known Carl was married was beyond me.

    My joy will be increased if

    a) WR lets on to Bunter/Amy that she'd known about it too; and/or

    b) Bunter mentions all this to Shula and she expresses surprise at the idea and points out that Amy would never have got herself into that sort of relationship. Maybe bunter might start questioning the apparently perfect Usha and her motives.

    Oh joy.

    Report message13

  • Message 14

    , in reply to message 6.

    Posted by Miss Matty (U11719655) on Sunday, 6th May 2012

    Grow up Amy, it's a guy you have been seeing for a few weeks not a long term partner. Even if he wasn't married the way she tried to rail-road him into living together was enough for most men to do a bunk.
    **** happens in life , we all have to learn to deal with it.

    No in Ambridge everyone goes into disaster mode, asking for guidance...grow up Vicar and childish, needy daughter.

    Report message14

  • Message 15

    , in reply to message 1.

    Posted by Margaret (U14756851) on Sunday, 6th May 2012

    Usha should have told Alan at the first opportunity, it is his daughter's happiness and welfare and the two of them have always been so close. Usha hasn't been around that long. It was a breech of confidentiality of personal stuff of Amy's to tell Ruth. However, understanding Amy's outrage and hurt, Alan should be able to get over it eventually. I am not sure if we have all the facts yet. Carl is not behaving candidly but there will be stuff revealed which should explain. It's always a good idea to walk a mile in someone's shoes before criticizing.

    Report message15

  • Message 16

    , in reply to message 15.

    Posted by Margaret (U14756851) on Sunday, 6th May 2012

    I mean she's only been Amy's step - ma for a short time, she's been in Ambridge for Yonks.

    Report message16

  • Message 17

    , in reply to message 15.

    Posted by MsMumbo-Jumbo (U3613133) on Sunday, 6th May 2012

    I think she tried to but Bunter had his mobile switched on.
    MJ

    Report message17

  • Message 18

    , in reply to message 13.

    Posted by bebopalula (U8847542) on Sunday, 6th May 2012

    Well I think this is pay back time for the dreadful way Usha treated Shula. Having said that I feel sorry for the way Amy and TVA are treating Usha; it is almost as if Usha is not really a part of the family. It would not surprise if she does not move out (for a while anyway).


    Bebop

    Report message18

  • Message 19

    , in reply to message 14.

    Posted by valerie rowe (U3673663) on Sunday, 6th May 2012

    Grow up Amy, it's a guy you have been seeing for a few weeks not a long term partner. Even if he wasn't married the way she tried to rail-road him into living together was enough for most men to do a bunk.
    **** happens in life , we all have to learn to deal with it.

    No in Ambridge everyone goes into disaster mode, asking for guidance...grow up Vicar and childish, needy daughter.

     

    Seconded! Bet she won't mention to her Pa that she tried to railroad Carl into living together though.

    Interesting that Carl seems to have escaped criticism here. It is all Usha's fault apparently

    Report message19

  • Message 20

    , in reply to message 15.

    Posted by Poorgrass (U12099742) on Sunday, 6th May 2012

    I have disliked Usha for some time (being a Shula supporter), but tonight I did actually sympathize with her. Amy was irrational and emotional as probably to be expected. Usha would doubtless have had to endured a similar outburst had she told Amy last week that Carl was married (" How dare you spy on my boyfriend!/ That's a malicious lie - you're trying to spoil it for me!/it's none of your business!" etc etc)

    But Bunter really was out of order. Also irrational and emotional. Did anyone else notice him taking the Lord's name in vain?

    If he were an RC, he should get straight down to the confessional.

    Report message20

  • Message 21

    , in reply to message 10.

    Posted by Digitalis lividus et niger (U8605497) on Sunday, 6th May 2012

    <quote<When you get married, in fact if you commit to anyone and mean it, then that person should become your best friend and confidant.
    First rule of being a step-parent :- don't take the big decisions yourself. </quote>

    Exactly. You'd have thought a lawyer's mind, if not a stand-in parent's, would have worked that out. I've been screaming at her for far too long. And Alan should have been told before Amy, long before there was a crisis. Most step-mother's get the idea at the beginning. I know I did!

    Dig


    Report message21

  • Message 22

    , in reply to message 14.

    Posted by DracoM1 (U14252039) on Sunday, 6th May 2012

    Agreed.

    Nicely balanced epi, consistent, well written, very little extraneous stuff, focused on issues.

    And, yes indeed, Usha made a mistake bleating to WR, BUT apart from that - and I am sure that faux pas that will come out and prolong the gloomfest - I'm not sure what else she could have done. I commend her for telling Amy and Alan EXACTLY the details as she had them, sources, locations, timing etc, nothing held back. That took courage. Amy is running away because Usha now knows just how sexually and socially naive she is, and that will hurt - even if she came across as a pouty 14 yr old dumped in the playground.

    And Alan now has a prob: being a Vicar simply HAS to affect relationships. IN matters of sexual morality / social complexities and having children, nothing is straightforward, so he has to examine what on earth else Usha could have done. She is a professional woman, has seen a lot, and frankly he spoke to her as if she were merely the Head of House, and he was the Housemaster. I'd have been furious if it had been me he'd been bawling out.

    Grow up, Vic, smell the coffee. You have a naive 20-something daughter, this is what happens.

    Report message22

  • Message 23

    , in reply to message 21.

    Posted by stolenkisses (U6230663) on Sunday, 6th May 2012

    But Usha really didn't have to blurt out anything about Carl being married and IRL and as a lawyer i think she would have waited to see exactly what Carl had told Amy. I know I would have.

    sk

    Report message23

  • Message 24

    , in reply to message 21.

    Posted by bebopalula (U8847542) on Sunday, 6th May 2012

    I did notice that Usha referred to her self as Amy's step mother when talking to Ruth and she felt of late that she had a mother/daughter relationship with her. I thought at the time she was deluding herself. She should have told the TVA first.

    I too have never liked Usha especially since the Shula business but I do feel sorry for her now.

    Report message24

  • Message 25

    , in reply to message 22.

    Posted by Burberry (U14785386) on Sunday, 6th May 2012

    Great post, Dracs.
    Facts laid out squarely on the table.

    Report message25

  • Message 26

    , in reply to message 25.

    Posted by moominllama (U8498848) on Sunday, 6th May 2012

    Usha, with hindsight, got it wrong.

    Very easy to do, especially with stepdaughters (from one who knows!)

    She has my sympathy as she tries to deal with this. Please Alan, try to see Usha's point of view. She doesn't need both you and Amy railing at her over this.

    Report message26

  • Message 27

    , in reply to message 11.

    Posted by alwaysafan (U14832750) on Sunday, 6th May 2012

    I think Usha was in a pretty impossible spot, but was surprised she did not confront Carl. What`s the saying "damed if you do, damed if you don`t. She can`t win.

    Report message27

  • Message 28

    , in reply to message 26.

    Posted by Curmy (U10228939) on Sunday, 6th May 2012

    Yes Usha did get it wrong, but I think Amy & Alan are being very unfair, & have totally over reacted !
    Why does Alan think Amy will always come to him with her boyfriend problems. ? She's 23 for heavens sake !

    If I were Usha I'd move out for a while & let them stew. She apologised & gave her reasons & A & A have both totally over reacted !

    If Amy's going to refuse to come home because of Usha, I'd let the pair of them get on with it !

    I think Amy's been behaving like a silly teenager over Carl anyway.

    Report message28

  • Message 29

    , in reply to message 27.

    Posted by Halliana (U2407863) on Sunday, 6th May 2012

    All Usha needed to say to Amy was that she'd heard he was married but wasn't too sure about it, and waiting for a quiet time to talk to her.
    After all we still don't know for certain, we only have Annabelle's word for it.

    Report message29

  • Message 30

    , in reply to message 1.

    Posted by nicky (U15233834) on Sunday, 6th May 2012

    absolutely agree - as a pseudo step-mother myself I can really relate to poor old Usha and the dilemma she faced. Alan is being totally unreasonable and so is his stupid daughter.

    Report message30

  • Message 31

    , in reply to message 30.

    Posted by Perkin Warbeck is not a cannibal (U14797366) on Sunday, 6th May 2012

    Amy needs to grown up. She went out with a married man. He dumped her.

    How exactly is this Usha's fault? The best she could have done is brought the relationship to an end some 7 days early, for which she would have been BLAMED.

    Report message31

  • Message 32

    , in reply to message 31.

    Posted by Dragonfly (U2223700) on Sunday, 6th May 2012

    Amy needs to grown up. She went out with a married man. He dumped her.

    How exactly is this Usha's fault? The best she could have done is brought the relationship to an end some 7 days early, for which she would have been BLAMED. 


    I don't think Amy is blaming Usha for the fact that it now turns out that Carl is married. She's blaming Usha for not telling her this rather important fact as soon as she found out about it. It makes an enormous difference to Amy and not only did Usha not bother to tell Amy or Alan, she even convinced herself that maybe Amy knew and didn't care. As Amy said, and I think Alan did too, this indicates that Usha does not understand the first thing about Amy. I'm not surprised they're both so upset with Usha.

    Report message32

  • Message 33

    , in reply to message 31.

    Posted by Purple_Hay (U14319650) on Sunday, 6th May 2012

    Amy is acting like a 12 year old, she was playing with a 30+ man but she doesn't take responsibility for her own actions, it is not as if Us a introduced her to Carl and as for TVOA he should look for a very big rock to crawl under, utter up himself pillock.

    Report message33

  • Message 34

    , in reply to message 20.

    Posted by joe (U13868420) on Sunday, 6th May 2012

    Bunter really was out of order. Also irrational and emotional. Did anyone else notice him taking the Lord's name in vain?  "And he that blasphemeth the name of the Lord, he shall surely be put to death, and all the congregation shall certainly stone him"
    Leviticus 24:16

    No wonder he bolted for Darrington.

    Report message34

  • Message 35

    , in reply to message 34.

    Posted by Perkin Warbeck is not a cannibal (U14797366) on Sunday, 6th May 2012

    Bunter really was out of order. Also irrational and emotional. Did anyone else notice him taking the Lord's name in vain?  "And he that blasphemeth the name of the Lord, he shall surely be put to death, and all the congregation shall certainly stone him"
    Leviticus 24:16

    No wonder he bolted for Darrington.  
    he better not look back, lest he turn to a pillar of pies

    Report message35

  • Message 36

    , in reply to message 33.

    Posted by Curmy (U10228939) on Sunday, 6th May 2012

    It's not that Usha didn't bother to tell Amy, infact she agonised as to what she should do.

    I think she felt as she was her stepmother she should tread carefully, & given Amy's subsequent behaviour, she'd have probably got her head bitten off if she had told her

    . Although I do think she should have told Alan that she'd heard rumours., but he was away.

    Report message36

  • Message 37

    , in reply to message 32.

    Posted by JoinedPeetsBoard_Smeesues_too (U14519481) on Sunday, 6th May 2012

    But as stated on another thread Amy told Alice it would have been "all right" if Carl had told her the relationship with his wife was on the rocks and their appearance at the "do" a sham.

    Which is just what Usha thought ..

    It's understandable if Amy and Alan are hurt

    THe villain is - of course - Carl. Come on out you rat and face the music!
    JPBS

    Report message37

  • Message 38

    , in reply to message 37.

    Posted by Schez (U2212013) on Sunday, 6th May 2012

    Of course Carl is the real villain, but I think Usha is just wet wet wet for not managing to tell Alan at the very least, and discuss what to do. And her stammering and non-explanation to Amy were just the right way to infuriate the poor girl.

    How can this woman be such a competent lawyer and yet such a dithering idiot in this case?

    I wonder when it will come out that it was Amy who kept badgering Carl to move in with him.

    Report message38

  • Message 39

    , in reply to message 37.

    Posted by cath (U2234232) on Sunday, 6th May 2012

    >But as stated on another thread Amy told Alice it would have been "all right" if Carl had told her the relationship with his wife was on the rocks and their appearance at the "do" a sham.

    Which is just what Usha thought ..<

    No. Usha thought that Carl was married to a woman who was (probably) unaware of that her husband was having an affair and who thought or may have thought he was loyal to her, his wife.

    There is a world of difference between having a relationship with someone who isn't having a relationship with their wife (and whose wife is aware of the situation, where they simply put on a front in public) and a relationship with someone whose wife thinks her husband is faithful.

    Report message39

  • Message 40

    , in reply to message 38.

    Posted by JoinedPeetsBoard_Smeesues_too (U14519481) on Sunday, 6th May 2012

    Yes it was unbelievable she couldn't get out of her faux pax in blurting out about Carls marriage. No need to tell the truth about Annabelle - why not say she'd heard rumours and was still trying to find out the truth?

    I was shouting at the radio at that point ..
    JPBS

    Report message40

  • Message 41

    , in reply to message 40.

    Posted by joe (U13868420) on Sunday, 6th May 2012

    Exactly. A simple "I didn't want to say anything in case Annabelle was mistaken" would have excused her. (It wouldn't leave much scope for the SWs, though!)

    I wonder how it will pan out when Amy realises she's pregnant?

    Report message41

  • Message 42

    , in reply to message 30.

    Posted by rolekins3 (U2294341) on Sunday, 6th May 2012

    absolutely agree - as a pseudo step-mother myself I can really relate to poor old Usha and the dilemma she faced. Alan is being totally unreasonable and so is his stupid daughter.   I agree with Nicky too; Amy is supposed to be an adult professional woman , not a naive teenager, and I thought it was strange of Alan to take her side without really listening to Usha's attempted explanation of the dilemma in which she found herself. It certainly isn't easy being a stepmother .......

    Report message42

  • Message 43

    , in reply to message 42.

    Posted by Purple_Hay (U14319650) on Sunday, 6th May 2012

    Alan and Amy are blinkered in their outlook, everybody else is to blame, when Amy is the architect and contributed to this situation, she can't blame Usha for her own naivety, well of course she has.

    Report message43

  • Message 44

    , in reply to message 43.

    Posted by cath (U2234232) on Sunday, 6th May 2012

    >she can't blame Usha for her own naivety, well of course she has.<

    She's not blaming Usha for her own naivety she's blaming Usha for

    a) assuming that Amy would have willingly entered into a relationship with a married man and therefore
    b) not telling Amy that Carl was (probably) a married man and therefore allowing Amy to carry on with a man with whom Amy would not have carried on, had she known and therefore
    c) allowed Amy to invest her emotions in someone she would have dropped (probably) if she had known.

    I think she's entitled to be furious. She'lll be even more furious once she finds out she's been the object of discussion with WR. Ha ha ha ha ha ha.

    Report message44

  • Message 45

    , in reply to message 44.

    Posted by Auntie Molly (U14110968) on Sunday, 6th May 2012

    >she can't blame Usha for her own naivety, well of course she has.<

    She's not blaming Usha for her own naivety she's blaming Usha for

    a) assuming that Amy would have willingly entered into a relationship with a married man and therefore
    b) not telling Amy that Carl was (probably) a married man and therefore allowing Amy to carry on with a man with whom Amy would not have carried on, had she known and therefore
    c) allowed Amy to invest her emotions in someone she would have dropped (probably) if she had known.

    I think she's entitled to be furious. She'lll be even more furious once she finds out she's been the object of discussion with WR. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. 
    She hasn't admitted or recognised her own naivety as a contributing factor in any way though. Usha is in that way proving a handy scapegoat.

    Report message45

  • Message 46

    , in reply to message 40.

    Posted by RosalindF (U11043377) on Sunday, 6th May 2012

    Yes it was unbelievable she couldn't get out of her faux pax in blurting out about Carls marriage. No need to tell the truth about Annabelle - why not say she'd heard rumours and was still trying to find out the truth?

    I was shouting at the radio at that point ..
    JPBS 


    JPBS But something I've been thinking since Annabelle
    told Usha at that business do about Carl being married to
    a hot-shot solicitior Rochelle. If Annabelle was telling the trut
    or exaggerating it slightly?

    Of course I agree that's he is vile and rat also that Usha's done
    her best but Amy and Alan won't listen etc.

    Rosalind

    Report message46

  • Message 47

    , in reply to message 45.

    Posted by cath (U2234232) on Sunday, 6th May 2012

    >She hasn't admitted or recognised her own naivety as a contributing factor in any way though.<

    She was perfectly happy in her misery when it was her own self induced misery. Finding that someone could have saved her from some of that misery - because they misjudged her character - has quite reasonably made her angry on lots more levels than just why didn't tell you me about Carl.

    Report message47

  • Message 48

    , in reply to message 37.

    Posted by acebass (U3133653) on Sunday, 6th May 2012

    But as stated on another thread Amy told Alice it would have been "all right" if Carl had told her the relationship with his wife was on the rocks and their appearance at the "do" a sham.

    Which is just what Usha thought ..

    It's understandable if Amy and Alan are hurt

    THe villain is - of course - Carl. Come on out you rat and face the music!
    JPBS 
    Indeed, it seems to me that Usha, who was merely trying to sort out the best way to deal with a bad situation, is now being treated like the villain of the piece, much more than Carl.
    A little like battered children, where social workers always seem to get treated with much more oppobrium than the violent parent

    Report message48

  • Message 49

    , in reply to message 32.

    Posted by Dailyfix (U14602649) on Sunday, 6th May 2012

    Amy needs to grown up. She went out with a married man. He dumped her.

    How exactly is this Usha's fault? The best she could have done is brought the relationship to an end some 7 days early, for which she would have been BLAMED. 


    I don't think Amy is blaming Usha for the fact that it now turns out that Carl is married. She's blaming Usha for not telling her this rather important fact as soon as she found out about it. It makes an enormous difference to Amy and not only did Usha not bother to tell Amy or Alan, she even convinced herself that maybe Amy knew and didn't care. As Amy said, and I think Alan did too, this indicates that Usha does not understand the first thing about Amy. I'm not surprised they're both so upset with Usha.  
    Totally agree with you. Even given her limited exposure on TA it was obvious that Amy would not knowingly date a married man. Usha knew that she was just being selfish worrying about what the impact on her relationships would be rather than seeking to spare Amy hurt and humiliation even if she was not thanked for it.
    How much better would it have been for Amy's self esteem to kick Carl into touch rather than be used and discarded not to mention the shame she will feel telling her friends which will really matter to someone her age
    I sympathise for the n win role of stepmother but if she cared for Amy as a person she would risk her wrath to save her I know I would with my daughters. In Usha's case she should have researched her facts then told Alan ASAP.





    Report message49

  • Message 50

    , in reply to message 1.

    Posted by Annie1904 (U13826804) on Sunday, 6th May 2012

    Usha is damned if she does, damned if she doesn't. She gets a bit of info which will shatter both her husband and his daughter, and she can't bear to tell either. So why she san't confide in a friend? Her only mistake was misinterpreting Amy's distress and filling in the gaps before Amy told her only that Carl had dumped her. Have none of you ever had to carry the burden of a secret? Sometimes it really is better to withhold the whole truth.

    Report message50

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