This discussion has been closed.
Posted by greatcrestedglebe (U2256470) on Sunday, 9th May 2010
I have not, thank goodness, been in the situation where my offspring want to go out with with men 13 years older than them, so I'm not sure I would know how I would react.
Neither has younger offspring been found to be defacing the neighbourhood with spray paints.
But i would never in a million years let either of mine talk to me the way Pip and Josh talk to David and Ruth. Do teenagers truly speak to their parents like this? I have a 13 year old and a 17 year and while we have had some arguments, they have never spoken to me or their father in that condescending and downright vile manner. If we ever have disagreements it is our house rule that we all apologise and try and ensure that it doesn't happen again.
David and Ruth appear to have no backbone whatsoever. Pip is trampling all over them and they put up no resistance or try to compromise sensibly at all. I'm not saying they should be chaining her to her room, but they won't ever get her to respect them if they do nothing to deserve it.
Do parents actually behave like this?
PS And i still think Jude is pervy and weird wanting to go out with a 17 years old, but I suppose it comes down to control. A 25 year old woman wouldn't pander to him so completely - he wants and has got a willing slave.
Posted by Digitalis lividus et niger (U8605497) on Sunday, 9th May 2010
Many of us have posted in this vein, Glebe, and as many others have said that this is how teenagers behave, and R&D are only getting what they deserve. Like you, I should have been appalled and ashamed if any of mine have spoke in that way. I was going to say "dared", but it would have been more a matter of respect than courage/bravado/deerringdo, I think. And this is something learnt in the nursery, surely. Sad.
Posted by Victorian Fan (U2170971) on Sunday, 9th May 2010
One of the reasons she "talks this way" is because it's radio. IRL, she'd keep her mouth shut.
But that wouldn't work on TA.
Posted by Gumrat (U2340387) on Sunday, 9th May 2010
Unfortunately, I have a 15 year old who is as vile as Pip. Granted, I call her on her behaviour and she does ask permission to stay out, but it's a thin line - the more we give, the more she expects to take. The less we allow, the more obnoxious she is. She knows she can't stay overnight at her boyf's, but who knows what's happening anywhere else? TBH, the important thing is she doesn't get hurt. In Switzerland, 15 is the legal age to leave school, and from that point, children seem to think they're allowed to do anything without permission from any one. The only children I know here who respect their parents and do not argue about boundaries are Sri Lankans.
I have tried to be the complete opposite of my mother, whom I still hate - and I wasn't a rebel, but my mother was a disciplinarian. My dorter hates me anyway, I might as well have been completely repressive like my mother, my dorter behaves far worse than I did at her age, with far less reason to rebel, AFAICT.
The joys of parenting, huh
Posted by Digitalis lividus et niger (U8605497) on Monday, 10th May 2010
I'm so sorry, Gumrat. Are you sure you really hate your mother? Are you sure your daughter hates you? This was one of the saddest things I've read here, because there's nothing nicer than a nice teenager, and nothing more rewarding than a good mother-daughter relationship. I wish I had some magic formula which would help, but here's a good wish or two. She will grow up given time, you know.
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