Freak Zone  permalink

Glastonbury! Aaaaaaaaargh!!!

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Messages: 1 - 20 of 20
  • Message 1. 

    Posted by KingLudd (U14703455) on Monday, 20th June 2011

    Glastonbury weekend is turning into one of those periods, like Children In Need weekend, where you have to switch off all electrical appliances that might potentially receive an incoming signal and sit in the dark rocking gently backwards and forwards.

    In some ways it's worse than that one-eyed waving bear. A lot of people loathe the bear quite openly but when you come out as a Glastonbury nay-sayer, everyone accuses you of being a boring old fart. People who like Coldplay accusing you of being boring is quite an insult, since formica is considerably more fascinating than the most shocking revelation in the secret diary of Chris Martin aged 34 and a half.

    And it gets worse, cos not content with inflicting hours of televised interviews with people in a tent in wellies on us - plus extensive highlights of U2's set - multimedia coverage of this fauxhemian Glyndebourne means that the Freak Zone is cancelled.

    Stop all the clocks etc. Not even any Bolivian mathcore on the radio to get us through this one.

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  • Message 2

    , in reply to message 1.

    Posted by tolhurst (U14241236) on Wednesday, 22nd June 2011

    It's getting worse and worse - I had wondered what would happen if you had a drink every time you heard the "G" word but if it had only been a thimbleful of low-alcohol lager, I would already be legless by 10 this Wednesday morning.

    It is as though the BBC has bought the rights and is whipping up support.

    This kind of weekend is what German TV was made for to escape.

    As for being a "Glastonbury denier" - the worst crime? - how about packing the individual cakes into the hamper, firing up the Vanden Plas and heading off to Dufftonbury? First topic - what, along the A303?

    www.bbc.co.uk/dna/mb...

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  • Message 3

    , in reply to message 2.

    Posted by KingLudd (U14703455) on Wednesday, 22nd June 2011

    I would say 'lol tolhurst' but I bet you get that alot huh?

    The Guardian has some special interactive scratch and sniff searchable database with the name and twitter account of every single UGG boot wearing, Jack Wills clad hitlerjugend-a-like in attendance.

    Elsewhere Michael Eavis says that Glastonbury will return to it's radical roots.

    www.guardian.co.uk/m...

    I think maybe he's doing his bit for anarchy by forcing any radical who wants to go to expropriate a bank in order to afford a ticket.

    My dad had a metallic chocolate brown Vanden Plas 1300. He wouldn't accept that it was an Allegro. Every time you went round a corner it wallowed sickeningly and when you accelerated (I use the term loosely) the nose rose very gently, as though you were in a Thames launch.

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  • Message 4

    , in reply to message 1.

    Posted by davesidney (U14916354) on Wednesday, 22nd June 2011

    the self confirmed acts just don't get enough coverage.. Like most harcore underground Glastonbury fans. i want to see the real scene at it's best. Just the raw talent getting up there and making a name for themselves. Exposure i guess.... i suppose its all done over the internet these days.. like that guy SId Banes who just puts himself on youtube and nobody really knows who he is.. anyway i guess the worlds changing!! and maybe one day we will see a more digital glastonbury.

    Peace out

    Dave.

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  • Message 5

    , in reply to message 4.

    Posted by tolhurst (U14241236) on Wednesday, 22nd June 2011

    If you consider that Glastonbury's roots lie in the free and easy Sixties, the fact that it has become a huge corporate event -with the BBC laying on a bus, and big articles in the Guardian (which has lost its "Manchester" just as the BBC is acquiring its) - doesn't seem to fit.

    I had said if I had a gin for every mention of the G-word on 6music, I would be legless by lunchtime. However, this Wednesday morning, if I had had a thimbleful of low-alcohol lager for every mention, I would have been nuked by nine. There's something of Michael Jackson and the "Pepsi generation" about its combination of popstars and marketing - plus the BBC!

    As davesidney says, why listen to Glastonbury for the same old people, but in a field? (In the case of Pulp, on a really bad mobile phone recording to bootleg).

    I hope 6music bring a lot of new unsigned bands.

    As for Dufftonbury, I always thought the distinguishing feature of a Vanden Plas was fold-down picnic tables. I know the 1300 had these, don't know about the later 1500.

    Yes, tolhurst is a good name to lol with. I recently discovered that the crashing wall-to-wall bassline of Frieda's "There's Something Going On" was inspired by the Cure's "Other Voices" but the Abba fan who read this seemed to be expecting that to be a track I had never heard. *björn baby björn*

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  • Message 6

    , in reply to message 5.

    Posted by tolhurst (U14241236) on Wednesday, 22nd June 2011

    *discovers has made two versions of the same joke - blames low-alcohol hangover* smiley - doh

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  • Message 7

    , in reply to message 5.

    Posted by KingLudd (U14703455) on Thursday, 23rd June 2011

    Re: Glastonbury. I guess it's the usual process of gentrification, only in the cultural sphere. It's a kind of a 'Hackney of the mind' to paraphrase Ferlinghetti.

    The only time I ever saw Lol Tolhurst was at Glastonbury when the Cure played in '85. And you're right about that Frida song. What a steal. Which is weird cos it also sounds like...I dunno....maybe Heart or Jefferson Starship or something. Is it "Living On A Prayer"? Something's very familiar around the "I know it won't be long" bit before the chorus.

    I looked up those VDP's - and if my father had refused to accept that the 1300 was unrelated to the Allegro he'd've been perfectly within his rights - because it clearly wasn't - but what he had, my mistake, was a 1500. I don't remember picnic tables. I remember acres of pale brown leather which you slid across and lots of some kind of deep expensive looking veneer. All fur coat and no knickers.

    Latest Glastonbury update from the Guardian's round the clock Pilton infofeed: it may rain. Urk. There's nothing worse than the smell of a wet Womble.




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  • Message 8

    , in reply to message 4.

    Posted by KingLudd (U14703455) on Thursday, 23rd June 2011

    Hi Dave,

    I just looked up Sid Banes on youtube. His video has 6 hits. You weren't kidding about people not knowing who he is!

    Still abit overexposed for me though, man. I liked his work before he went commercial.

    I think there's alot of money in Glastonbury the way it is - a rich crowd slumming it for a while. There's no incentive for the organisers to change the format. In fact you could argue that the things people don't like about it - the idea that it's somehow sold out - is what makes it authentically part of the hippy thing. The difference is that the hippies slummed it while they were young and then grew up and sold out, like Lenny Bruce said. At Glastonbury you put flowers down the end of guns for three days then go back to your job in an investment bank on the monday. But the principle's pretty much the same.

    I'm sure there was no gilded age when it was more authentic. The book 'The Rebel Sell' is good on all those myths about keeping it real.

    Report message8

  • Message 9

    , in reply to message 8.

    All this user's posts have been removed. Why?

  • Message 10

    , in reply to message 9.

    Posted by KingLudd (U14703455) on Thursday, 23rd June 2011

    There is Glastonbury, Wimbledon, F1 and the Motogp this weekend smiley - ok  Ah, Motogp! Come on kamikaze Sideshow Bob! Illegitimi Non Carborundum!

    Report message10

  • Message 11

    , in reply to message 1.

    Posted by norfolk_vegman (U14917752) on Thursday, 23rd June 2011

    I had hoped that after wall-to-wall glastonbury on 6music R1 and R2, at least Gideon Coe would be 'normal service resumed', but no, we've had the 'G' word half a dozen times in the first half hour. having said that he's now playing John Ottway - beware of the flowers, Ah....

    Report message11

  • Message 12

    , in reply to message 11.

    Posted by KingLudd (U14703455) on Friday, 24th June 2011

    I had hoped that after wall-to-wall glastonbury on 6music R1 and R2, at least Gideon Coe would be 'normal service resumed', but no, we've had the 'G' word half a dozen times in the first half hour. having said that he's now playing John Ottway - beware of the flowers, Ah....  The first time I ever saw Otway was in a tent in Glastonbury in 1995. I'd never heard of him before but what drew my attention was...I think I'm remembering this correctly.....he read out the entire introduction to Jerusalem:

    "Rouze up O Young Men of the New Age! set your foreheads against the ignorant Hirelings! For we have Hirelings in the Camp, the Court, & the University".....

    It doesn't sound like Otway's style but I'm pretty sure he did. I was under the influence of some fairly serious mind altering fungi at the time but I think that's what happened. He got my attention immediately, because in 1995 I was in the midst of my bearded mystical Manson phase and deludedly thought I was the only person since Kathleen Raine who bothered to read Blake. And then of course Otway did Crazy Horses and I was properly smitten.

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  • Message 13

    , in reply to message 11.

    Posted by tolhurst (U14241236) on Friday, 24th June 2011

    I had hoped that after wall-to-wall glastonbury on 6music R1 and R2, at least Gideon Coe would be 'normal service resumed', but no, we've had the 'G' word half a dozen times in the first half hour. having said that he's now playing John Ottway - beware of the flowers, Ah....  re: Gideon Coe, apparently Radio 2 are doing a feature where all their shows are presented by *two* (geddit?) DJs, and Mark Radcliffe (I think) said they would never do one on 6Music where all the shows were hosted by *six*.

    However, this immediately happened.

    I got so confused by what appeared to be a So Solid Crew of Antipodeans hijacking Gid's show that I turned over to Radio 2. That appeared to be just the same, like the days when you used to get Radio 1 in stereo (on 94.9?) after 7(?)pm.

    I had already done my Hitler parody about Glastoverload...so I made my excuses and switched off.

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  • Message 14

    , in reply to message 13.

    Posted by Swell_Map (U14129256) on Friday, 24th June 2011

    Well, its nice to see Phill Jupitus get some work once a year

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  • Message 15

    , in reply to message 14.

    Posted by tolhurst (U14241236) on Friday, 24th June 2011

    Well, its nice to see Phill Jupitus get some work once a year  don't forget that I am in total lock-down, which means I have turned off the radio and removed its batteries before covering it in pillows and throwing it into a bucket of custard in the shed at the bottom of the garden.

    So this evening I only saw the 6 o'clock TV news with a Glastonbury trail before it, a feature on Glastonbury with the CEO of Glastonbury, and Glastonbury-themed weather for Glastonbury on a map adorned with the Glastonbury logo.

    I.e. virtually no Glastonbury at all!

    What has Phill been doing?

    Report message15

  • Message 16

    , in reply to message 15.

    Posted by KingLudd (U14703455) on Saturday, 25th June 2011

    Well, its nice to see Phill Jupitus get some work once a year  don't forget that I am in total lock-down, which means I have turned off the radio and removed its batteries before covering it in pillows and throwing it into a bucket of custard in the shed at the bottom of the garden.

    So this evening I only saw the 6 o'clock TV news with a Glastonbury trail before it, a feature on Glastonbury with the CEO of Glastonbury, and Glastonbury-themed weather for Glastonbury on a map adorned with the Glastonbury logo.

    I.e. virtually no Glastonbury at all!

    What has Phill been doing? 
    Like you I'm in complete communications quarantine. I'm actually posting this psychically from a telepathic area of a parallel universe completely sealed with chaos magic pentagrams against all forms of astral projection. But it's no use - I've had a terrible night. At two this morning I was wakened by a terrific banging (as they say). It was a bloke from the BBC. He was hammering on my front door and bellowing the word "Glastonbury!" through the letter box. I could see his foam flecked mouth through the bristles.

    Then at half five I heard a sort of scratching on the veluxes - and it was bloody Hedwig the owl from the Harry Potter novels with a message tied to her claw that said "Radiohead: Secret Gig On The Bruno Brookes Stage! Regards Alan Rusbridger".

    Make it stop.






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  • Message 17

    , in reply to message 16.

    Posted by jasonaparkes (U3653332) on Saturday, 25th June 2011

    It is very boring and why do the BBC assume that the many people who didn't buy tickets want it inflicted on them? Zane Lowe and Jo Whiley discussing U2 was a new form of torture...had to work my way through a Throbbing Gristle box-set to recover...

    I was making some food and played a bit of it as I prepared: BB King was dull, Morrissey's band did awful versions of Smiths' songs and U2 seemed to be playing a set from 1992 for most of their set. Zane Lowe almost climaxed over some lame sub-Ramones song by The Vaccines & Wu-Tang Clan were kind of appalling (except when The RZA & Ghostface Killah rapped).

    I think that's enough....a shame the BBC and the Guarniad give such OTT coverage to a festival that I don't want to go to anymore. I'm going with The Green Man and Moseley Folk Festival this year....

    Report message17

  • Message 18

    , in reply to message 17.

    Posted by tolhurst (U14241236) on Monday, 27th June 2011

    It is very boring and why do the BBC assume that the many people who didn't buy tickets want it inflicted on them? ...a shame the BBC and the Guarniad give such OTT coverage to a festival that I don't want to go to anymore. I'm going with The Green Man and Moseley Folk Festival this year....  Yes, Claygate Rec. Fest for me this year, I think. Maybe there will be a tombola.

    I did stroll along the Mole last year to East Molesey in case there was as badly-spelt folk festival there, but got to The Bell before I found a festival and the rest is rather a blur... there's no other way to describe it.

    You know the BBC is losing touch when one of their freaky DJs (from "The Road to Wigan Pie Shop"?) confuses the Wombles with the Wurzels. D'oh!

    I'd love to see Adge Cutler and the Wombles, mind you...

    Report message18

  • Message 19

    , in reply to message 18.

    Posted by haroldseye (U14257712) on Monday, 27th June 2011

    Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, Tolhurst, but Adge went off to join the great majority some years ago. It would have been good if Beyonces band hadn't turned up and The Wombles stepped in as an emergency backing band. That would have made Beyonce worth watching. Having said that, I did watch her set for about ten minutes in the hope that she would force Michael Eavis to sing with her as Stevie Wonder did last year. Unfortunately, I had to switch her off because she was executing some very dangerous-looking squats and I was afraid that some tragic medical thing was going to happen.

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  • Message 20

    , in reply to message 19.

    Posted by tolhurst (U14241236) on Wednesday, 29th June 2011

    I'd love to see Adge Cutler and the Wombles, mind you... 

    Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, Tolhurst, but Adge went off to join the great majority some years ago.  

    Yes, sadly Adge had *already* passed on before the Wurzels had their big hit with "Combine Harvester".

    However, I would still love to see Adge Cutler and the Wombles through some supernatural force!

    Report message20

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