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Message 1, Oct 21, 2005
This posting has been hidden during moderation because it broke the House Rules in some way.
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Message 2, Oct 21, 2005
This posting has been hidden during moderation because it broke the House Rules in some way.
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Message 3 - posted by robrev
(U1858097)
, Oct 21, 2005
That is absolutely hilarious. I can't even begin to pick my favourite bit of that story!
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Message 4 - posted by 4everaspur
(U2070670)
, Oct 21, 2005
News update.. Hoyle has been released... Seems he is a plumber and is corgi regestered.
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Message 5 - posted by GIOVANIDOS BENTLEY
(U1753388)
, Oct 21, 2005
Well ive never heard a judge say
"Never before in my time at the bar or on the bench have I ever had to deal with somebody who voluntarily allowed himself to be buggered by a dog on the public highway. Frankly it is beyond most of our comprehension.
I used to live in Huddersfield and can categorically add ive never been raped by a dog on a public highway.
Im classier than that, you got to expect to at least get them a drink first, or a sausage then maybe back to mine for afters LMAO
Quoted
message from
Spurs_Cockerel
He might at least have asked what the dogs name was.
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Message 6 - posted by OMG!!! THIS IS THE ORIGINAL KLINGY USERNAME!!
(U1591550)
, Oct 21, 2005
That story is hysterical!! LMFAO 
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Message 7 - posted by robrev
(U1858097)
, Oct 21, 2005
No no i have found a favourite quote :
"somebody who voluntarily allowed himself to be buggered by a dog on the public highway"
I defy someone to find a funnier quote, on any subject, ever!
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Message 8 - posted by domingues'mazydribble
(U1805782)
, Oct 27, 2005
Well worth another read...
Utterly hilarious
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Message 9 - posted by it's much warmer down south
(U1821776)
, Oct 27, 2005
Hysterical  How long though before some numpty gets it modded?
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Message 10, Oct 27, 2005
This posting has been hidden during moderation because it broke the House Rules in some way.
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Message 11 - posted by RobCat1980
(U2342573)
, Oct 28, 2005
Genius quote "The dog pulled my trousers down"
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Message 12 - posted by Jimbo_Mcfish
(U1929252)
, Oct 28, 2005
Sheer brilliance, haven't laughed so much since the Armageddon sound file.
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Message 13 - posted by m149065
(U2373374)
, Nov 1, 2005
Best shaggy dog story I have read.
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Message 14 - posted by theITguy
(U2373414)
, Nov 1, 2005
He must have been Terrier-fied......
Sorry - couldn't resist it.
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Message 15 - posted by OMG!!! THIS IS THE ORIGINAL KLINGY USERNAME!!
(U1591550)
, Nov 1, 2005
He must have been Terrier-fied......
Sorry - couldn't resist it.Quoted
message from
theITguy
But he then thought "It's OK, His bark must be worse than his bite!!"
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Message 16 - posted by chucklebuttie
(U1918426)
, Nov 1, 2005
How low can one man go?
10 points for the first person to reply
"Chiauaua" (sp)
cb
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Message 17 - posted by the future's bright, the future's redcurrant
(U1780537)
, Nov 1, 2005
At least it wasn't a great dane. I suppose most premiership sides where used to it when Schmicael (sp?) was playing for manure...
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Message 18 - posted by doctorperry
(U1016651)
, Nov 1, 2005
Was it Stan Collymore ?
I recall he used to like dogging ?
I think the name itself is a giveaway!
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Message 19 - posted by gallowgategirl10
(U2374008)
, Nov 1, 2005
So the guy got sent down but where's the dog??
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Message 20 - posted by 1smoothgroove
(U2374190)
, Nov 1, 2005
The dogs probably sold his story to the Daily sport
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Message 21 - posted by goodyeahbabyyeah
(U2374278)
, Nov 1, 2005
I have not laughed so much for a long time. Especially about the dog pulling his trousers down. Priceless.
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Message 22 - posted by Lane At Hart
(U2268099)
, Nov 1, 2005
A whole new meaning to "Doggy-style". And the dog being called "Badger"! Quality.
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Message 23 - posted by Levy501PD
(U1765466)
, Nov 1, 2005
Have you got a link to this story? I've got to share it with the office!!!!!!
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Message 24 - posted by goodyeahbabyyeah
(U2374278)
, Nov 1, 2005
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Message 25 - posted by MarauderMat
(U1336824)
, Nov 1, 2005
um......lol some sick b*stards around nowadays
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Message 26 - posted by Jol-Lee_Carrickter's Keane_Gardner
(U1797420)
, Nov 1, 2005
That is a quality story! somehow dont believe parts of it though
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Message 27 - posted by malampaya
(U2374686)
, Nov 1, 2005
News from Yorskhire Extract from the Yorkshire Evening Post:
"A drunk who claimed he had been raped by a dog was yesterday jailed for 12 months by a judge. Martin Hoyle, 45, was arrested by police after a passing motorist and his girlfriend found a Staffordshire bull terrier, called Badger, having sex with him at the side of a road in Huddersfield, West Yorkshire.
Prosecutor Ben Crosland said the couple had stopped to help because they thought Hoyle was being attacked by the animal. But when they got closer they saw that he had his trousers round his ankles, was down on all fours and the dog was straddling him from behind.
"The defendant mumbled something about the dog having taken a liking to him," said Mr Crosland. "The couple were extremely offended and sickened by what they saw." Another passing motorist contacted the police and Hoyle was arrested as he walked with the dog down the road.
Hoyle, of East view, Marsh, Huddersfield, told police "I can't help it if the dog took a liking to me. He tried to rape me."
He repeated the ra pe allegation at the police station and added "The dog pulled my trousers down." Hoyle, who has had a long-standing alcohol problem, was jailed for 12 months after he admitted committing an act which outraged public decency.
His barrister said Hoyle had no memory of the incident because of his drunken state, but was now very remorseful and incredibly embarrassed.
Jailing him, Judge Alistair McCallum told Hoyle "Never before in my time at the bar or on the bench have I ever had to deal with somebody who voluntarily allowed himself to be buggered by a dog on the public highway. Frankly it is beyond most of our comprehension. It is an absolutely disgusting thing for members of the public to have to witness
Quoted
message from
Now_for_the_Sidedish
This was the second dog he had tried, the first turned him down as he thought he was a bit rough.
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Message 28 - posted by utah_4
(U2319776)
, Nov 1, 2005
I think it's a disgrace that he was sent down for 12 months.
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Message 29 - posted by Big_John_Lacey
(U2366140)
, Nov 1, 2005
I think it's a disgrace that he was sent down for 12 months.Quoted
message from
utah_4
I know he should have been quarantined first!!
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Message 30 - posted by chucklebuttie
(U1918426)
, Nov 1, 2005
I hope the headline was Ruff Justice!
cb
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Message 31 - posted by puhatackle
(U2317132)
, Nov 1, 2005
dID THEY SHARE A CIGARETTE AFTERWARDS ?
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Message 32 - posted by I-be-after-e
(U1758356)
, Nov 1, 2005
Your thread has found it's way onto the TMS cricket boards. Cheers to all. Absolutely hilarious 
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Message 33 - posted by tregoning
(U839529)
, Nov 1, 2005
Like spurs he was absolutely bu*gered
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Message 34 - posted by NathanBarley
(U1717695)
, Nov 1, 2005
Well I'm glad you all think this is funny. Canine rape is a serious issue and once again the whole system is against the victim. There is a support group available for other victims of randy mutts at www.buggeredbymydog.con
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Message 35 - posted by NathanBarley
(U1717695)
, Nov 1, 2005
Well I'm glad you all think this is funny. Canine rape is a serious issue and once again the whole system is against the victim. There is a support group available for other victims of randy mutts at www.buggeredbymydog.com
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Message 36 - posted by gavs26
(U2375243)
, Nov 1, 2005
Absolutely brilliant  LMFAO
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Message 37 - posted by chadder
(U2001714)
, Nov 1, 2005
Police have put out a picture of the other party involoved, Badger... www.dogbreedinfo.com...Once again, let's see hoodies banned - they can even corrupt supposed man's best friend!
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Message 38 - posted by Knumbnut
(U2374465)
, Nov 1, 2005
Just signed a film deal - Doggie Does Dales!
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Message 39 - posted by The Sharpey Shuffle
(U1376297)
, Nov 1, 2005
buggered by a tiger....... www.boreme.com/borem...
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Message 40, Nov 1, 2005
This posting has been hidden during moderation because it broke the House Rules in some way.
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Message 41 - posted by circa 1882
(U1774187)
, Nov 1, 2005
I take it that stan collymore was unavailable for comment !
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Message 42 - posted by hayleymac80
(U2375491)
, Nov 1, 2005
What I don't get is, why didn't he go to somewhere a little more private.....Like Badger's dog house......ra ha ha 
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Message 43 - posted by minkymcmanky
(U1755084)
, Nov 1, 2005
Hey, come on, cut the guy some slack here.....we've ALL woken up next to a dog at some time......
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Message 44 - posted by chucklebuttie
(U1918426)
, Nov 1, 2005
Man's best friend indeed.
I did hear he was going to enter a poodle at crufts.
cb
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Message 45 - posted by saxonblade
(U2051309)
, Nov 1, 2005
Nowt new! There's about 20,000 blokes in Blackburn getting screwed by Rovers every week.
I'm off back to the Championship threads now!!
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Message 46 - posted by norwichspur
(U1781245)
, Nov 1, 2005
Nice one  Nowt new! There's about 20,000 blokes in Blackburn getting screwed by Rovers every week.
I'm off back to the Championship threads now!!Quoted
message from
saxonbladesaxonblade
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Message 47 - posted by Peterru
(U1569859)
, Nov 1, 2005
How low can you get??......well, a daschund, probably!!
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Message 48 - posted by saxonblade
(U2051309)
, Nov 1, 2005
He should have read his horoscope:
"You will receive notoriety when Canis Minor enters Uranus."
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Message 49 - posted by jac__1
(U2377060)
, Nov 1, 2005
its not all bad news for martin though, badger has kept in contact and is planning something special on his release.
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Message 50 - posted by jac__1
(U2377060)
, Nov 1, 2005
it was'nt easy for martin growing up either, his dad was a champion boxer...his mum a cocker spaniel.
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