Ritalin...
Oct 3, 2002
Tomorrow I start taking Ritalin. This is apparently essential for me to function properly as a student, as I'm showing many of the symptoms of ADD, and _something_ is keeping me from getting my (ugly, tedious, unnecessary) homework and classwork done. I'm feeling considerably apprehensive about this, as I like the way my brain works right now. (I have many uncommon and exceptional mental talents, and I'd say so extraparenthetically if it didn't sound like bragging.) If all this is going to do is make me focus on and enjoy stupid tasks, ones that in my normal state of mind I wouldn't do unless I was paid considerable amounts of money (and even then I'd resent it), then I don't think that it's something I want. The other interesting thing about Ritalin is that it apparently functions similarly to cocaine, but is not addictive when taken orally. I think my primary fear is that it will "allow" me to focus and reduce my mental background noise [1], but reduce my special capabilities as well... and I'll be too drugged to regret it. I'm suspicious that the absent "addiction" mentioned is referring to physical addiction, but not psychological. I don't want to be happy and productive at the expense of who I am. My parents have agreed to make me stop taking it if I show any signs of damage to my personality, such as loss of a healthy level of paranoia. I'm also considering having them keep me from taking it on the weekend, even if I want to. But it may simply be too "beneficial" for my own good. I'm normally a very cautious person, but this time I'm caving to the pressure at the insistence of my friends and family. It may, after all, turn out well... But why do I feel like I'm taking the blue pill?
This may be the last you ever hear from the real me. I leave this message as a monument to who I was, am, and will be. Wish me luck.
~Nathan
[1] I _like_ my background noise! It lets me do useful things like compose music in the back of my mind while working on something infinitely less interesting.
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- Latest reply: Feb 26, 2003
Reason I've been missing
Jun 21, 2002
Sorry I haven't been here in the last week or so. I recently installed Linux, and it's taken most of my time to set it up. I'm back now.
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- Latest reply: Jul 2, 2002
My new hobby
Apr 13, 2002
I've started collecting AOL registration passwords. It seems that you get two per CD: The one on the cardboard thingy, and the one on the leaflet asking you to forward it to a friend.
Here's what I have from the first one:
SLURPS-SELF
BODKIN-BARBED
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- Latest reply: Apr 21, 2002
My name as an equation
Mar 29, 2002
By fiddling around with Microsoft Excel, I've found out that
-x^5 + 19.125x^4 - 136.75x^3 + 448.37x^2 - 656.75x + 341
works out to be my (real) first name, approximately. First one other than Sylvia to guess it gets a prize. No fair snooping around other websites to find it out.
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- Latest reply: Apr 4, 2002
About Away:
Dec 23, 2001
Goodbye~
I'll miss you all. 
But only for a week. 8)
Then I'll return to annoy everyone again. 
'Til then-
 See ya!
*Puts on Ring and disappears*
/-- 10 Bogus Bonus Points to anyone who can tell me what movie I just saw! --/
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- Latest reply: Jan 17, 2002
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