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"12: I turned round to see the voice that was speaking to me. And when I turned I saw seven golden lampstands, 13: and among the lampstands was someone like a son of man1, dressed in a robe reaching down to his feet and with a golden sash round his chest." Revelations; Chapter 1; Verses 12 and 132
 | | | | | | A Brief History of GodBen |  |
GodBen was born on the 29th of April 1958. Unfortunately, he died four days later in a strange accident involving a falling bowl of petunias. This did not stop a cult being formed about him that believed that he was the true ruler of the universe. For decades this cult was lost and afraid because their leader was gone, so they decided to use occult forces to reincarnate him. On the 10th of February 1986 they managed to harness their power, and reincarnated GodBen!! Unfortunately the cult was killed off four seconds later due to a freak accident involving a falling Sperm Whale. But the cult was successful, and the true ruler of the universe was reincarnated in Ireland as a child called Ben. Ben was a bit of a strange child, what with him being the true ruler of the universe and all. By the age of two he had already forced new supermarket regulations in Ireland. He accidentally drank a bottle of weed-killer, thinking that it was cola, that was placed on the bottom shelf. From then on, supermarkets were forced to place weed-killer on the top shelf.3 By the age of fourteen it was obvious to Ben that he was something more than a regular human. Five years later and he's still trying to convince other people of this. Fish's Freak set up a fan club to GodBen against GodBen's wishes. If you wish to annoy GB by posting there, then you can do so here.
Even gods as mean-spirited and downright evil as GodBen fall in love sometimes. It's something that just can't be helped. The object of Ben's affections is one of the greatest people on the planet, Fish's Freak, or Beck as she's sometimes known. They met here on hootoo in late 2003 and slowly grew closer to one another until the two developed really serious crushes on one another without the other one knowing. They finally admitted this fact to each other and they then went on to spend months in one of those will they-won't they situations that US sitcoms love so much, before finally meeting and realising that they are both madly in love with each other. While it is difficult for both of them as Beck lives in England, and Ben lives in Ireland, it's still worth it as they love each other and they live in hope that one day they will be together. And that day will be rather nice. 
| | | | | | GodBen is a member of . . . | |
MASTERS OF THE MULTI-VERSE | MotMV | MotMV | | |  | |
Come and join the MASTERS OF THE MULTI-VERSE and fight the good (could be bad, we're not sure yet) fight! GodBen opened the new MotMV page and is now the society's new page editor. GodBen runs The New New MotMV Tearoom. Why not drop in for a visit? The League of H2G2 GodBen founded this society as a way of defending h2g2 from outside invasion. Join up today, and do your part for hootoo! H2G2 GODS GodBen is the god of doors, ducks, eunuchs and car-dealerships. Four totally useless things to have control over that he now regrets becoming the god of. The h2g2 Assassins Guild Yes he's an assassin. He was accepted because he came up with the idea of an elite cycling assassin unit. He somehow made a good impression (he just did silly things) and he's now on the guild council and has been made the guilds Rice Guildmaster. He is a member of the elite Assassin strike force, The Sundry Squadron. Shadow Realm Another bunch of wierdos with a good heart (despite the fact that they're evil). Welcome to the Shadow Realm. GodBen can usually be found in the forest where he had a house with the following things:
DOWNSTAIRS
Sitting room, Kitchen, Tearoom
UPSTAIRS
Bedroom, Bathroom, Deadly-knife room, Garage, Shrine to Yoko Ono, Zoo, Japanese government buildings, New Scotland Yard, Set of the 'Truman Show', Room of crashed Mars landers (Now with Beagle II), Polo (the game, not the mint) room, The Oval office, Bill Gates vault, World HQ of the campaign to legalise pot, Box-room
This house was recently rebuilt after being destroyed in an explosion.
RED DWARF GodBen is the door-technician onboard the Red Dwarf. You can find him at his cabin. The h2g2 Monty Python Fan (Pythonist) Society Yes, who would have guessed that he likes Monty Python. He is now the official Pythonist party thrower (not officially). The H2G2 STAR TREK Appreciation Society Being a Star Trek fan, GodBen jumped at the opportunity to join this society. But unfortunatly the society found him hiding on the ceiling and dragged him off to join anyway. Pratchett's Anonymous GodBen is a huge Terry Pratchett fan, so he joined the club. Toot Talkers - The h2g2 Robert Rankin Fan Club In his quest to become a fan of surreal comedy, Ben took it too far and began to read Robert Rankin. He and other weirdos hang out here. The Fortuneswell Appreciation Society | Join | | The Fortuneswell | | Appriciation Society |
GodBen joined this society since he knew some of the Foruneswells and was bored. Random Quotes Guild GodBen signed up for this one day as he had nothing better to do. The H2G2 Policitcal Party GodBen became a member of this some months back and has since then been fighting to get them to endorse his petition for all cities to be covered in a dome. The Campaign For New Smileys Does exactly what it says on the tin. GB designed the badge. Oh, look at it go.  The Glorious Revolution which is 'The Thingites' He had to be, didn't he?  4 He has post 59,000 and 77,000 on No no no!!.
These medals are appointed by the MotMV to honour its members. GodBen has earned the following (it should be noted that GB designed the badges himself): Page Editor | | MotMV | MotMV | | |
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| I survived base relocation and all I got was this lousy medal. | | MotMV | MotMV | | |
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| I fought to stop the galaxy being saved and all I got was this lousy medal. | | MotMV | MotMV | | |
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| I was beaten by the Terranic Army and all I got was this lousy medal. | | MotMV | MotMV | | |
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| I fought off STUMPED and all I got was this lousy medal. | | MotMV | MotMV | | |
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| I fought off the Evil Army and all I got was this lousy medal. | | MotMV | MotMV | | |
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| I brought revenge on the Terranic Army and all I got was this lousy medal. | | MotMV | MotMV | | |
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| I invaded the Insomniac Society and all I got was this lousy medal. | | MotMV | MotMV | | |
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| I invaded and destroyed Vogsphere and all I got was this lousy medal. | | MotMV | MotMV | | |
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| I put out the great MotMV fire and all I got was this lousy medal. | | MotMV | MotMV | | |
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| I marched for Jack and all I got was this lousy medal. | | MotMV | MotMV | | |
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| I took part in the search for Percival and all I got was this lousy medal. | | MotMV | MotMV | | |
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| I took part in the second search for Percival and all I got was this lousy medal. | | MotMV | MotMV | | |
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| | | | | | ~ The Thingite Clivorian Ostrichsolarian Calendar ~ | |
|
|---|
| Crayfish 2005 |
|---|
| Sodit | Wimpy | Wibble | Thing | Poets | Doobry | Dontbry |
|---|
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | | 29 | 30 | 31 | |
The consequences of somebody drinking weed-killer at an early age can be quite strange. In Ben's case, this has caused a number of psychological issues. He has multiple personality disorder. Ben was originally composed of three separate personalities; Ben, Joe and Dole. Ben is the weird one, and the core personality. He usually is the one with control over the body. Joe is the intelligent one. Joe is sometimes given control of the body, but usually this was only for the purposes of exams. Dole is the lazy one. He never has control and is content with doing nothing.5 He has something like a Napoleon complex, except it's not a simple Napoleon complex. Ben has something far worse, what he likes to call a GodBen complex. He has an insane fear of a thin Santa Claus who has a flat haircut and short beard. This problem came about one Christmas Eve when he was three. For years, whenever he walked down the stairs, he saw this image at the front door. He is also an optimistic cynic with arachnophobia.
When you meet GodBen there are some things you may wish to know to stop you from being offended. Firstly, do not, and I cannot stress this strongly enough, do NOT take anything that GodBen says seriously. He is a joker and if you take offense at anything that he says then you can rest assured that he didn't mean it. Secondly, you can call him GB. You can call him Ben if you must, but this does cause Ben's other personalities to be offended. His name is GodBen (one word) not God Ben (two words). Thirdly, do not ask for godly favours. GodBen only has control over Doors, Ducks, Eunuchs, and Car dealerships. If you do want a favour to do with these items, then ask him nicely and suck up to him as much as you can. And lastly, do NOT use any of the following smileys towards him     . If you do insist on using them then you will get a level one warning ( ), then a level two warning ( ), then a level three warning ( ), and then GodBen will go berserk. I don't know why, but he will.
Magus to the Hermetic Order of the Golden Sprout, 12th Dan Master of Dimac, poet, adventurer, swordsman and concert pianist; big game hunter, Best dressed Man of 1933; mountaineer, lone yachtsman, Shakespearian actor and topless go-go dancer; Ben Moloney's hobbies include passive smoking, communicating with the dead and copying Robert Rankin's fake achievements.
Everybody on this site has one of these by now, so GodBen made his own. U Number=518809 51+8-8+0-9=42
While trudging through some old posts he made, GB came across this one which had him laughing for ages. He decided to put it here so he wouldn't forget it (plus, it acts as a good insight into how he thinks). You see, mugs are like fish. They're oily and have small bones that get caught in your throat, but without them we wouldn't have satalite TV.
That didn't make any sense!
| | | | | | And since people seem to like seeing their name in lights . . . | |
| | | | | | If you want to leave a message | |
Dont ask me why, you're the one leaving the message!  And if you really must, then you can contact me at godben AT eircom DOT net (although I'll probably just assume that it's spam and delete it).
| | | | | | You read the page, but do you know the man? | |
GB made a quiz about himself to see how much people knew about him. You can take it here.
| | | | | | One last question before you go | |
6
1 GodBen's real name is Ben Adam Moloney. The names Ben Adam mean "son of man". Coincidence, I think not!
2 GodBen would like it to be noted that he is officially an atheist. He only added the bible quotes because of the "son of man" reference.
3 Unfortunatly, this is true.
4 According to the Thingite calander, GodBen was born on Sodit the 10th in the month of Worse. This gives him the most miserable sounding birthday of any of the 449 Thingites.
5 If you are wondering why this whole page is writen in the third person, it's because it was written by me, Joe, not Ben.
6 This graphic was kindly stolen from Wonko's personal space.
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Hiya
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Great GodBen
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SayHeyJay Calling...
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Welcome to this Researcher's Journal. If you'd like to comment on anything they have written here, just click the relevant 'Discuss this Entry' button. The way to a woman's heart
(Feb 14, 2006)
Right, I signed up to that Deviant Art thing that EvilClaw is always using today, and I decided to submit the two most important pictures in the world to me. These are two, rather similar, pictures that I drew for Beck.
The first one, entitled Merryocity, is a picture that I sent to her as her Christmas present: http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/29075003/
The second one, entitles Valentinocity is the one that I sent her today for Valentine's day: http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/29075319/
As you can see, my position as the world's worst drawer is not in doubt. 
Click here to discuss this
(25 replies,
Latest reply: Feb 18, 2006)
I'm glad that's over with
(Feb 10, 2006)
Yes everybody, today's the day, I'm officially no longer a teenager. Yup, it's my 20th birthday. 
Presents go in the sack over there, money goes in that slot next to it.
Here's a thing, showing up to college wearing a hat from a Christmas cracker is likely to get you many odd looks. Who knew?
*sigh* I feel like such an adult. 
Oh well, there's only one thing in the world that I want for my birthday, and she's 258.7 miles away.  But here's a conincidence; not only is it my birthday, but today marks 42 days until Beck comes to visit me!! 
Anyway, I hope you all have a pleasant day. If not then don't complain as it's my birthday and I don't want to be brought down.
Click here to discuss this
(21 replies,
Latest reply: Feb 23, 2006)
Something's in the air...
(Jan 26, 2006)
OK, this is a serious journal, so you had better listen up as after reading this none of you will be able to see me in the same way again:
I'm in love.
Yup, I know that it's unlikely, some may even say that it goes against the fundamental laws of the universe, but it's true. And here's the second punch:
I'm in love with Beck, or Fish's Freak (U199203) as she's known onsite.
Yup, I'm a sad enough geek to fall in love with someone I met on the internet.
And luckily, she loves me too.
You see, we've known each other since I first joined over two years ago, and we slowly grew to know and trust one another. Eventually we admitted that we had serious crushes on one another a few months back, but things were really complicated back then due to a variety of factors, so we decided to not tell anyone and to move on. But we couldn't move on. In the end we agreed to meet at some point and see where it went, and that's where I've been for the past few days, in England visiting her. And things just worked out better than either of us ever expected.
So now we're a couple apparently. And even though we live in separate countries and we will rarely see one another, I love her and she's worth it.
So that's that.
Love you Beck!
Click here to discuss this
(93 replies,
Latest reply: Jan 29, 2006)
Just a few things...
(Jan 19, 2006)
First of all, I got my FIELD RESEARCHER badge!!!
Yes yes, I know I don't deserve it, but I don't care. Its still mine.
Secondly, I'm going away for a few days from Saturday, so try not to miss me too much while I'm gone.
*Ignores jokes about cross-hairs being out of alignment.*
And try not to mess up the tearoom too much.
*Goes off to stare at his badge.*
Oh, its gives the illusion of shinyness.
Click here to discuss this
(42 replies,
Latest reply: Jan 20, 2006)
A Real Leader
(Dec 6, 2005)
Pompous and annoying, with a blank stare,
Ready to murder because he doesn’t care.
Evil in motives, with a heart as cold as steel,
Stringing along the faithful because they think that he’s real.
Isn't afraid to propose what is wrong,
Deadly and dangerous, more so than King Kong.
Eyes full of darkness, needed for his cause,
Never backs down even when he’s false,
Tells it all crooked, and abuses the laws.
Going backwards while thinking he's right,
Ever shrouded in darkness, away from the light.
Over and over he lies and he lies,
Reacting to true allegations, he always denies.
Growing in power, he cannot be stopped,
Even though his ventures have frequently flopped.
Wanting the world piece by piece,
Bracing for war, destroying all peace,
Using his power so evil wont cease.
So join me my friends in a cause that is just,
Here stands a bad man, and stop him we must.
OK, so many of you are probably wondering what all this is about, especially considering my aversion to poetry, but after seeing this news article: http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/south_asia/4501132.stm I just couldn't stop myself from writing this.
Click here to discuss this
(68 replies,
Latest reply: Dec 10, 2005)
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| | | | | Most Recent Guide Entries | | Most Recent Edited Entries | | |
These are all the Guide Entries this Researcher has created. If you'd like to read them, click on the link, and if you want to talk about them, use the 'Discuss this Entry' button when you get there. From h2g2:
A5680857
'Star Trek: Enterprise' – The Television Series (Sep 10, 2005)
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These are all the Edited Entries to which this Researcher has contributed. They obviously read the Writing Guidelines and submitted their Guide Entries to Peer Review: why don't you too? From h2g2:
A6563450
'Star Trek: The Next Generation' - The Television Series (Jan 6, 2006)
From h2g2:
A6756096
'Star Trek: Voyager' - The Television Series (Jan 6, 2006)
From h2g2:
A6756294
'Star Trek: Enterprise' – The Television Series (Jan 6, 2006)
From h2g2:
A6756212
'Star Trek' - The Animated Television Series (Jan 6, 2006)
From h2g2:
A6756159
'Star Trek' - The Original Series (Jan 6, 2006)
From h2g2:
A6671531
'Star Trek: Deep Space Nine' - The Television Series (Jan 6, 2006)
From h2g2:
A6002876
The Works of Terry Pratchett (Nov 11, 2005)
From h2g2:
A4282337
'South Park' - The Television Series (Aug 11, 2005)
From h2g2:
A3913643
Civilization – the Computer Game Franchise (Jun 20, 2005)
From h2g2:
A3994239
'Frasier' – The TV Series (Jun 1, 2005)
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Here is the friends list of GodBen (The Magical Astronomer) - 00000011:
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Click here to delete more than one name
The following people have GodBen (The Magical Astronomer) - 00000011 on their friends lists:
T.B. Falsename ACE: [stercus venio] I have learned from my mistakes, and feel I could repeat them exactly.
Personal Space | Journal Entries
Mistdancer - X - Sporadically Coherent
Personal Space | Journal Entries
Fish's Freak
Personal Space | Journal Entries
cinnamon_spider
Personal Space | Journal Entries
Yuvi
Personal Space | Journal Entries
Br dragonqueen - eternally free and forever untamed; weredoctor; SExpert; Honorary Flogstress... RIP Mum, I miss you.
Personal Space | Journal Entries
Captain Khamsin
Personal Space | Journal Entries
Lady Pennywhistle - Back with a vengeance! [for a certain, limited value of Vengeance; actual amounts of Vengeance may vary]
Personal Space | Journal Entries
SuperMoo: Now With Even More Online-ness
Personal Space | Journal Entries
HAIKEEBA!
Personal Space | Journal Entries
redpeckhamthegreatpompomwithnobson
Personal Space | Journal Entries
Almighty Bob, God of ludicrous over acting, suicidal telephone operators + the inability to cook a omelett without breaking eggs
Personal Space | Journal Entries
Mad - I need a holiday, very seriously...
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Luthiena
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manson_rocks - When all of your wishes are granted, many of your dreams will be destroyed.
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Uncle_Bob - Back In Black
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Flamestrike
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Laudatortemporisacti - RIP TB Falsename, I will always love you. :'-(
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mad boffin: Part time House Ogre & Homework Enforcer.AKA George the ubiquitous prophet of Thing
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Virtuouschuffed
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EndangeredSpecies
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Cloned Madman - God oh God Why am I so Bored!
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thelostgeographer: off to the States, see my journal for periodic goings-on!
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Lavahna -- Princess of Perfect Pitch
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mazie (returning soon...)
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farlock -master of morphing
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SayHeyJay - WHO DAT!!
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the bishop
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Pdmatthew - Probably In a corner somewhere with a guitar
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Cosmic Llama - I.M.M.A.C.O.R- Co Founding Member. Desparately seeking a cause!!!
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zaphob, the smallest of your problems
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markthehamster
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Lost Soldier Three-----Merry Christmas! (watch my friends list grow)
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Endangered-species
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Vauxhaul Astra - Back in black . I hit the sack . It's been too long I'm glad to be back .
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alexofthatilk - The warrior, The scientist, The psycopath, The criminal, The person
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catluvr2 - Normal is irrelevant, but cheese is not.
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Bluebelle105
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