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I thought again, and now I think I should preface this page with some words from a single true philosopher of life:- "Be careful," replied Lao Tan, "not to interfere with the natural goodness of the heart of man. Man's heart may be forced down or stirred up. In each case the issue is fatal. By gentleness, the hardest heart may be softened. But try to cut and polish it, and it will glow like fire or freeze like ice. In the twinkling of an eye it will pass beyond the limits of the Four Seas. In repose, it is profoundly still; in motion, it flies up to the sky. Like an unruly horse, it cannot be held in check. Such is the human heart." - Chuang Zi A very little about me. I am still Hypoman. I am no longer a Scout, because that job seems less discriminatory than I thought it would be, and I'm no longer a sub-editor because I just fell out of doing it for a while, and haven't started again. I was involved, initially, with the h2g2 POST. Lately I've not been called on to do much for the POST, but I still support the idea, and like to help out when and if I can. By profession I am a librarian1, hence my entries on things like libraries and books, and my interest in the information potential of H2G2. By nature I am a man, hence my entry on sexual frustration. By habit I am devoted to physical fitness, which has an entry all its own. My most recent entry, on Insulin Dependent Diabetes, has been accepted into the 'Guide, and appraisal from my fellow researchers certainly helped its progress. Feel free to take a look at that, or at any of the rest of what I've written. The range of topics represented by these missives cover a few of my interests. For information on what I have been thinking recently, check my diary entries, which are occasionally fairly well up to date. If you are wanting to talk to me, I tend to be hanging around, and I do check the fora. No button or facility will actually tell you where I am though, so it's probably easier to "discuss" one of my entries than to try to find me - I will pick up the thread, if you say anything that needs to be replied to! I'm very much afraid that I no longer know enough interesting people to make a links list from my page interesting enough to be bothered with. I'll update this entry, of course, should it come to pass that I suddenly DO know enough people...
1 I have only ever been a contractor - I seem to be able to be much more useful here on an ongoing basis! Right now I'm busy being a media operator, because nobody seems to want to employ me as a librarian...
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Welcome to this Researcher's Journal. If you'd like to comment on anything they have written here, just click the relevant 'Discuss this Entry' button. Thursday 31 July, 2003
(Jul 30, 2003)
This last couple of months has been interesting.
Feelings of betrayal have been shared, discussed and eased. Books have been ordered (some have even arrived!) and read - even the odd CD has been purchased. A new job has been properly investigated and even, partly, enjoyed. Tai Chi has nearly been learned. Diabetes is becoming ever less of an issue. Fire damage has been allowed some time to grow out.
Now there is the best thing of all. One of my best friends, ever, is coming to see me - from Denmark. I have even grown up enough not to expect that something will go wrong with this plan, but I am looking forward so much to this that it is hard to believe it might happen.
Some things never do come right, though. I am still woefully tired, and never informed enough that I can be sure of anything - which I suppose is the way things ought to be. It's still wearing, though!
Three months until a holiday...
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Monday 26 May, 2003 (edited)
(May 26, 2003)
Gee, I make my first journal entry in a year and then follow up with another one within two months! This must be some sort of record for inconsistency...
I've experienced much over the last couple of years. I have known loneliness, confusion, embarrassment, frustration, fury and not a little pride, all of which I know to be wrong. There is currently some comfort in loneliness, although no consolation - and little in the way of other diversions. I think about myself far too much, I think.
I am very sorry to the people I have betrayed. There are far too many of those, and the only excuse I can plead is that I wasn't thinking about what I was doing when betrayal occurred - but then, the same thing could be said about a lot of tragedies, and nobody benefits at all except the lawyers.
I am also sorry to the people I have mis-maligned. There are also far too many of those - my misapprehensions are likely to kill me one day, but in the meantime they just seem to cause people stress and inconvenience.
On the flip side, I've read some great books (the nice thing about being by yourself is that you can make time to read!), and my own writing has been coming along. I've been consistently employed for the first time in several years: the sacrifices I am having to make to be so are not nearly as serious as my pride would make them. I've learned a little more about the internet, as well as about the nature of truth - a subject which I vaguely remember concerned me a lot when I first got here.
Not as many nice people are turning up as used to do - but that'll probably turn around. I've also discovered that a few of the old reliables are still here, too... It's always nice to know that it's not as bad as you sometimes think it is.
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Wednesday 19 March, 2003
(Mar 19, 2003)
Well, I seem to be down to about one journal entry a year, now. Can't say I'm missing it that much, but life does move on, y'know? I do still keep poking around in the hope that eventually I'll run into someone as curious as me. I still keep running into some curious people, too...
I've still been doing a lot of forum shaking, although I've been trying to do it more subtly than previously, of late. While I've been doing it the range of people who I used to know here seem to have moved on, which I find a tremendous pity. Asteroid Lil was around not too long ago, but she seems to be the last...
Fitness, diabetes and the Tao seem to have become my main web concerns - anyone who wants to talk about one of these should feel free to look me up! I'll have a drink in everybody's memory - or at least, everybody who I still remember.
Love,
H.
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Sunday 8 September, 2002
(Sep 7, 2002)
I awoke to the weirdest dream I can remember: I was trying to give my son an injection, and he wasn't happy about it. He kept trying to run away, berating me loudly while he did so. I can remember doing similar things to my Dad when he tried to inject me, and this feeling also permeated the dream. "Why are you doing this, Dad? Why did you have me?"
I remember answering both questions, over and over, and feeling guilty as hell and crying - and then I woke up, sweat dripping from my body, and my bed sodden. I did a blood test, and found that I was low (and still am as I write now).
I really, really hope that my parents don't still have dreams like this.
We had a party last night, which was a lot of fun. Having staggered home, somewhat tipsy, and collapsed, giggling, I woke up once during the night, sleeping in my clothes on the spare bed. I remembered then that I hadn't done my last injection for the day, and had an injection. I was thirsty (a typical sign of high BSL), so I had a big drink of water, too. Then I undressed and went to my real bed. Strange way to end a night, most people would think - unless you also were single and still living alone!...
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Thursday 4 July, 2002
(Jul 4, 2002)
The Velvets are on the stereo, the weather's appropriate for the middle of Winter, the house is clean, work starts in two hours or so, and everything feels good. There's still far too much to do in the time available, but that's just life, I guess.
I have recently come up against the 'squeaky wheel' theory. The people who subscribe to this theory are interesting, in that - faced with squeaky wheels of their own - they often forget where the grease is, and many are sufficiently technically incompetent that they are unaware of which grease is most effective for the particular problem. Many are unaware that, as with most problems which present themselves in this way, it's far quicker and considerably more effective to fix it yourself. Many also fail to consider that, sometimes, the grease just isn't there to be used, but the wheel will keep on turning anyway. It annoys me that so many people are determined to be 'squeaky wheels', rather than take up positions as maintenance people.
Harry Potter and the Tao are on my mind...
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| | | | | Most Recent Guide Entries | | Most Recent Edited Entries | | |
These are all the Guide Entries this Researcher has created. If you'd like to read them, click on the link, and if you want to talk about them, use the 'Discuss this Entry' button when you get there. From h2g2:
A381449
Résumé (Jun 29, 2000)
From h2g2:
A380909
Demonstrated skills and abilities (Jun 29, 2000)
From h2g2:
A379316
Employment history (Jun 27, 2000)
From h2g2:
A379299
Personal details (Jun 27, 2000)
From h2g2:
A372160
On the frustration of commuting (Jun 21, 2000)
From h2g2:
A372098
The Beauty (Jun 21, 2000)
From h2g2:
A288993
Insulin Dependent Diabetes Mellitus (Mar 30, 2000)
From h2g2:
A239366
H2g2 Links (Jan 1, 2000)
From h2g2:
A146819
(Aug 24, 1999)
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These are all the Edited Entries to which this Researcher has contributed. They obviously read the Writing Guidelines and submitted their Guide Entries to Peer Review: why don't you too? From h2g2:
A545195
British Parliamentary Reform in the 19th Century (May 30, 2001)
From h2g2:
A545212
Straight Edge Philosophy (May 30, 2001)
From h2g2:
A73270
Chess (May 25, 2001)
From h2g2:
A545203
Coffee Republic, Waterstones, Nottingham, UK (May 25, 2001)
From h2g2:
A513596
The East End of London, UK (Apr 5, 2001)
From h2g2:
A471476
Units of Measurement (Mar 22, 2001)
From h2g2:
A513604
Being Pretentious (Mar 22, 2001)
From h2g2:
A513578
John Esmonde and Bob Larbey - Comedy Writers (Mar 15, 2001)
From h2g2:
A513587
'Manimal' - the TV Series (Mar 14, 2001)
From h2g2:
A471485
'Biggles' - by Captain WE Johns (Dec 12, 2000)
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