This is my H2G2 Page

This is my H2G2 page. There are many like it but this one is Mine. My H2G2 page is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me, my H2G2 page is useles.Without my H2G2 page I am usless.I must type my page true. I must spell more correctly than my enemy, who is trying to kill me. I must shoot him before he shoots me. I will. Before God I swear this creed; my H2G2 page and myself are defenders of my country, we are the masters of my enemy, we are the saviours of my life. So be it, until there is no enemy, but peace. Amen.¹

	Smileys

Yep, Bluebottle has become another person to draw his own smileys. I would like to thank Roasted Amoeba for the help he gave and letting me use his computer.

Australian	JLego	JSurreal
Tomato	J Evil tomato (Wight Salads)	Apple
JSmi	Water Drop	JLord Smiley
JSaint Smiley	JBack of head smiley	Exploding brains smiley
Teapot	Dumbell	Barbell
JPunk	JTeenage Mutant Ninja Turtle	JSmiley avec Legs
JInvisible	Metric smiley	JLightbulb
Smiley of Borg	Ill	JMiss Smiley
Muscle smiley	JSee-through	JElectric-shock
Confused	JHalf-eaten	Doughnut
JChinese - by Roasted Amoeba	Flower power!	JPie chart
JSnail	Parachute	JMicroscopic
British	Millennium Dome	Bicycle
JSlimey Smiley	JSun	JBikini
JRadioactive	JEclipse	Isle of Wight

	This is in Bad Taste

Do you feel sad? Depressed? Lonely? Do you wish you had someone to talk to? Something to do? Some activity to look forward to? Are you fed up of unpaid bills, and getting junk mail? Are you on a diet? Does your bum look big/small/medium sized in all the clothes you wear?
Then Commit Suicide! Just end your problems with a happy knife, and never be troubled by anything again. Join the Suicide Club. New members wanted.

	Friends Pages

	And Now For A Fish Called Honda

Once upon a time there was a Fish called Honda, and he had a motorbike. One day he took his motorbike for a walk in the wild woods. "Hello," he said to all those in the Forest. "I like playing with matches." "With matches?!?!" everyone else called as they saw his nice bike. They were so afraid, that they killed him. The moral of the story is to never talk to strangers.

	Cool Links

I don't really believe in advertising, but here are some things that I think are really cool and should see.

• The Waterworks:
  • The Beach
  • The Swimming Pool
  • The Fountain
  • The Sewers
  • The River
  • The Public Toilets
  • The Lifeguard Station
  • The Sea
  • The Fish Pond
  • The Boat Yard
  • 0G's AntiGrav Nightclub
• So Long, And Thanks For Laughing - The H2G2 Joke Directory.
• Help compile a list of Things There Should Be More Of.
• Do you live in the South of England? Then join the Wessex Researchers Group.
• In fact, why not look around anywhere from my Links page?

	A counter

I don't really know why I've got a counter. Is it vanity? Am I egotistical and want everyone to see I'm a well-visited page? Am I trying to copy everyone else who has a counter? Was I just trying to see if I was able to put a counter on my page? I don't know. But for some reason, I decided to have a counter, and here it is.From

	And Finally...

Hello, this is the user page for Matt Sprack, or Bluebottle. I'm sorry if I am not in at the moment, but please click on a conversation below and leave your name and a message, and I'll contact you as soon as possible. BEEP!³

---

¹ Adapted from Kubrick's Full Metal Jacket
² Small black print small black print small black print small black print small black print small black print.
³ No oak trees were harmed in the making of this page.

People have been talking about this Guide Entry. Here are the most recent Conversations:

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	Journal Entries		Most Recent Conversations
	Welcome to this Researcher's Journal. If you'd like to comment on anything they have written here, just click the relevant 'Discuss this Entry' button. 30.7.2004 - 100 Today! (And no telegram from the Queen...) (Jul 30, 2004) Today my 100th Approved Article reached the front page, and I was allowed to be the guest editor of h2g2 to celebrate. <yay> My original introduction was: During this time of year, surely one of the best ways to enjoy the summer sun is to go out and visit a castle. A day trip to a castle is an especially rewarding experiences in the Yorkshire area, where many of the castles are perfectly situated amongst the most beautiful countryside in the North of England. You can explore castles in the Yorkshire Dales National Park, such as Bolton and Middleham, castles in the North York Moors National Park at Pickering and Helmsley. For those who prefer to do some shopping, a visit to York, the city at the heart of Yorkshire, rewards you with shops as well as Clifford's Tower, and if the only castle you are really interested in is one made with a bucket and spade on the beach, then Scarborough is the place for you. Yorkshire's castles are not only at the heart of natural Britain, but have witnessed history-shaping battles, especially Pontefract and Sandal. They have inspired paintings, plays and novels by such talents as Turner, William Shakespeare and Sir Walter Scott. They have witnessed the murders of Kings, banquets of the powerful, rich, and chivalrous; all of them have epic tales to tell spanning centuries. They are also open for you to visit 7 days a week. Or, in the best tradition of a British Summer, if it rains you can always stay indoors and read about them instead. and even though that was edited a little, I'm happy to have had the honour! <BB< Click here to discuss this (6 replies, Latest reply: Aug 30, 2004) 9.2.2004 - The Ballad Of Reading Hotel (Feb 9, 2004) Over the weekend I travelled down to Reading to see my friend Ben (aka The Fish) and to meet his baby daughter. She was dedicated on Sunday. As Ben now has a family of his own I can't really crash on his floor as I always used to, especially as my fiancee Sarah came too, and so we stayed in a hotel - the Comfort Inn Reading South, to be precise. It was the first time I've ever stayed in a hotel. <BB< Click here to discuss this (6 replies, Latest reply: Mar 31, 2004) 29.11.2003 - Drive My Car (Nov 29, 2003) Sarah and I have now bought our first car! It's a Ford Ghia (1995 M Reg) 1.6 5 door hatchback with airbag, electric windows, sunroof, power-steering and came serviced with one year's MOT. We now have the freedom to move around the country without relying on the train, which is a good thing as the last time we travelled by train someone decided to throw a stone at it, cracking and shattering the outer pane of glass just inches from Sarah, but fortunately the inner pane didn't seem to have been affected and stayed secure. Now I have a car, all I have to do is learn to drive... <BB< Click here to discuss this (5 replies, Latest reply: Jul 11, 2005) 17.10.2003 - Trendy Wine Bar (Oct 17, 2003) I am now working for the Royal Bank of Scotland Natwest International Banking Centre in their Leeds office. It's one of the smaller offices, with a mere 160 people in... But it's a fun job as I get to drink as much hot chocolate as I want for free! <BB< Click here to discuss this (5 replies, Latest reply: Oct 22, 2003) 21.7.2003 - Pass The Castle (Jul 21, 2003) If you are wondering what I've been up to in the last few months, I am still living in Yorkshire, alas... I'm trying to make the most of it by seeing all the castles of Yorkshire. So far Sarah and I have been to: Scarborough Castle Skipton Castle Ripley Castle York Castle (Clifford's Tower) & City Walls Richmond Castle Middleham Castle Bolton Castle <BB< Click here to discuss this (7 replies, Latest reply: Feb 10, 2004) Click here to see more Journal Entries		From h2g2 Classic Who on msn (No Posting) (Latest post: 7 Hours Ago) From h2g2 Time Vs Improbability (No Posting) (Latest post: 20 Hours Ago) From h2g2 Sarah Jane Adventures (could contain spoilers) (No Posting) (Latest post: Yesterday) From h2g2 The SnugMobile (No Posting) (Latest post: 3 Days Ago) From h2g2 Spoilers for 2009 Specials ... (No Posting) (Latest post: 2 Weeks Ago) From h2g2 Selling the series to a newbie. Your choice? (No Posting) (Latest post: 3 Weeks Ago) From h2g2 DT to leave Who- who do you think should be the next Doc? (No Posting) (Latest post: 4 Weeks Ago) From h2g2 The Post is on Twitter! (No Posting) (Latest post: 4 Weeks Ago) From h2g2 'New' Post Team member (No Posting) (Latest post: 5 Weeks Ago) From h2g2 Post News - Important! (No Posting) (Latest post: Oct 1, 2009) Click here to see more Conversations

	Most Recent Guide Entries		Most Recent Edited Entries
	These are all the Guide Entries this Researcher has created. If you'd like to read them, click on the link, and if you want to talk about them, use the 'Discuss this Entry' button when you get there. From h2g2: A3418337  The American Beatles Albums: The Canadian Albums (Dec 16, 2004) From h2g2: A3418328  The American Beatles Albums: 1967 And Beyond (Dec 16, 2004) From h2g2: A3418300  The American Beatles Albums: The 1966 Albums (Dec 16, 2004) From h2g2: A3418283  The American Beatles Albums: The 1965 Albums (Dec 16, 2004) From h2g2: A3418265  The American Beatles Albums: The 1964 Albums (Dec 16, 2004) From h2g2: A3418201  The American Beatles Albums: The 1963 Albums (Dec 16, 2004) From h2g2: A3418184  The American Beatles Albums (Dec 16, 2004) Click here to see more Guide Entries		These are all the Edited Entries to which this Researcher has contributed. They obviously read the Writing Guidelines and submitted their Guide Entries to Peer Review: why don't you too? From h2g2: A6380895  Fashion Victims (Jan 3, 2006) From h2g2: A3421036  Being An Usher At A Church Wedding (Jan 4, 2005) From h2g2: A3282996  Battlestar Galactica - The 2003 Mini-Series (Jan 4, 2005) From h2g2: A3404611  The Beatles and the Birth of the Music Video (Dec 22, 2004) From h2g2: A3383606  Free As A Bird - The Penultimate Beatles Song (Dec 22, 2004) From h2g2: A2788581  Peveril Castle, Derbyshire, UK (Sep 22, 2004) From h2g2: A2829260  Castle Glossary (Sep 15, 2004) From h2g2: A2773299  Farringford House, Freshwater, Isle of Wight (Sep 8, 2004) From h2g2: A2773271  Bolsover Castle, Derbyshire, UK (Aug 6, 2004) From h2g2: A2350199  Yorkshire's Castles: York Castle (Jul 30, 2004) Click here to see more Edited Entries

	Friends

Here is the friends list of Bluebottle :

Peregrin
Personal Space | Journal Entries | Delete

Post Team
Personal Space | Journal Entries | Delete

The Fish
Personal Space | Journal Entries | Delete

Tinkerbell *tumbleweed*
Personal Space | Journal Entries | Delete

Click here to delete more than one name