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As you step through the door to EvilClaw's office you can see several things. First thing you see right in front of you is EvilClaw's desk which is covered in paperwork and forms: some of it Evil Army business, some of it college work, and some of it doodles and drawings. A good portion of it are financial documents that seem to implicate Supermoo in a plot to steal the treasury of the Evil Army: every single last gold colored leaf! On the desk there is a phone with speed dials to Supermoo, Draco, the Overmind, the MotMV, the pizza place, the Musehome, the Cathouse,
and his own office number. Um.. in case he needs to call himself from his own phone... Yeah... Also on the desk there is a computer with EvilClaw's favorite websites on it. Under his favorites menu a website called Attack of the Prunes can be found. Its a sprite comic made by EvilClaw, Danigaaz, and Supermoo. It good 1. Also on the favorites menu is a website that shows the Evil Army's history in a comic called "Army of Evil". Almost buried in all of the Assassin's Guild transactions and balence sheets is a small piece of crumpled parchment. The ink is bright and fresh but the writing is almost illegibal. The document is EvilClaw's H2G2SRPG charecter sheet. Also on the desk is an executive toy. You know: those little metal balls on wire gizmos? The ones that demonstrate conservation of energy? The ones they give executives to distract them from making any real decisions? Yeah. Theres one of those on the desk. Also on the desk is Mister Eight, Claw's most trusted advisor. Coincedentally, he's a Magic Eight-ball. Isn't that so very sad? Behind the desk is EvilClaw's throne/chair/sitting utensil/thingie. On it its written "Se prohibe fumar." Behind the chair/ect. is the Evil Army flag which hangs on the wall. The flag , as designed by Supermoo, can be viewed here.
In the closet on the left wall there is EvilClaw's army uniform, megaman-recolor-esque outfit, a bunny suit, several fish, an Evil Army t-shirt, a U.S. Congressman, and a casual suit of clothes with almost no blood stains are hanging on hangers... That means EvilClaw is walking around nude... again...
There are several chairs of varying comfort and sillyness in front of the desk. Feel free to take a seat. ... Provided you give it back before you leave. On the side of the room there is a table on which the original General Plotting sits as a captive to prevent the MotMV from using his genius agianst EvilClaw or the Evil Army. On the table next to General Plotting is a piece of cake in a party bag taken from the Doghouse negotiations. And a new addition to the spoils is a remote control from the CHOPPERS HQ. Now all I need is a TV! By the desk there is a cat bed in which EvilClaw's evil2 cat Alexis. She is a fat, black cat and she is staring at you trying to determine if you're food. If you are I pity you. If you're not I pity you3 On the wall next to Alexis's bed there is a cage that contains the CloneClaw with a ham sandwich for a head4. He was captured by Alexis to prevent him from bothering EvilClaw. He doesn't say much... but he sure looks tasty. 5
It means no worries, for the rest of your days. Its our problem free, philosophy! Hakuna matata! It means "being a lazy git and letting other people solve problems for you while you pretend they don't exist."
Hanging on the wall are several6 certificates that certify EvilClaw's various memberships "'Nuts we are and nuts we shall remain. I am insane,' the little cat sang.""My belief is that if god wants my money he can come by my house with pamphlets just like everybody else.7""Fear of commitment stems from elections"
~EvilClaw"EC no-one complains about you being annoying because you give off an aura of 'Cute little kitty ineptly plotting to take over the world.' And people vaguely suspect that one day you'll climb into a tumble dryer because it looks all warm and cosey and snug and comfy and then someone will come along with out checking and put it on on super hot mega fast spin."~T.B. Falsename"Okey-dokey. I will remember that in the future... I usually buy more regardless but now that I know I should always buy more chocolate I can justify it. This is how it will happen... 'Whoever I'm with at the time: You already have chocolate. Why are you getting more? Me: Because I should always buy more chocolate! Them: Why? It's not like EC told you to. Me: Actually it's exactly like that! Them: Sorry I didn't realise...' I am slowly going crazy..."~fundamentallyflawed"Oh nonsense Tav. He has plenty of ideas. Granted, many of them end with something blowing up, burning down, or being otherwise destroyed... but they're still ideas."~Lady Pennywhistle, regarding EvilClaw
1 Do you really expect me to not call it good? I made it!
2 Well, more like quasi-evil or semi-evil or the Pepsi 1 of evil
3 I actually pity everyone, pay it no mind
4 An interesting story behind this one actually. You see there is an Evil Army cloning lab somewhere and Draco was guarding it. He accidentally dropped his lunch (guess what he was eating) into the vat which caused it to spawn oodles of Clones of EvilClaw.
5 Ignore the bitemark in his head. It doesn't mean that EvilClaw practices self-cannibalism!
6 Don't read this. You're reading this aren't you? PERISH!
7 I know I'm going to get angry letters about this...
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Welcome to this Researcher's Journal. If you'd like to comment on anything they have written here, just click the relevant 'Discuss this Entry' button. Happy birthday
(May 15, 2009)
To me. Another year older, another year closer to becoming a eldritch horror. Hypothetically at least.
Click here to discuss this
(14 replies,
Latest reply: Jun 9, 2009)
New comics
(Feb 10, 2007)
Two new comics for/from my uni's paper. And next Wednesday is approximately the one year anniversity of when I started.
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/48244593/ - ALE 17
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/48499508/ - ALE 18
Click here to discuss this
(19 replies,
Latest reply: Feb 11, 2007)
First drink of the day *guitar riff*
(Jan 30, 2007)
I fooled you with my comic titlery! It's actually the first comic of the year but you should go check out "First Drink of the Day" at http://www.rathergood.com/
Anyway: http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/47650484/ - UPM 14
Clearly my awesomeitude is only matched by my ego.
Click here to discuss this
(9 replies,
Latest reply: Feb 1, 2007)
Update of Apathetic Proportions!
(Dec 10, 2006)
It's once again time to plug some the comics and sketches I've been doing:
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/42906819 - ALE 10 Zombies: can't live with 'em, can't shewt 'em.
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/42907851/ - ALE 11 The description under the comic is important.
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/44403498/ - ALE 12 Likewise
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/44404850/ - ALE 13 Death becomes him
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/44405578/ ALE 14 What's up with McDonalds?
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/44406145 ALE 15 Happy Turkey Day!
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/44406846/ ALE 16 You got to have a heart before you can have an attack.
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/44407343/ - UPM 13 School can be scary
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/44422778/ - Sketch: Mister Eight returns
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/43724600/ Sketch: "My name is Ozymandias, King of kings"
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/44307764/ Sketch: Evil gets his groove back
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/44422592/ Sketch: I honestly don't remember what this picture is of.
Enjoy.
Click here to discuss this
(8 replies,
Latest reply: Dec 10, 2006)
I am teh artist. I draws the peoples.
(Nov 9, 2006)
In case some of you didn't know I've been retained from last year to draw comics for my college paper. Yes. Hypothetically I'm getting paid to draw. Take that college education!
I haven't uploaded all the comics yet because I'm giving you time to recover from the hilarity between each one but here's the ones I have uploaded so far:
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/39473486/ - ALE 6: Hah! The DMV is a treasure trove of potential jokes.
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/42730595/ - ALE 7: How could I not make a joke about public transport?
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/42740176/ - ALE 8: Ornithologist.
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/42740478/ - ALE 9: Look closely at the upper right corner.
I expect that all of you will be showering me in praise or failing that, water.
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(72 replies,
Latest reply: Nov 10, 2006)
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These are all the Edited Entries to which this Researcher has contributed. They obviously read the Writing Guidelines and submitted their Guide Entries to Peer Review: why don't you too? From h2g2:
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T.B. Falsename ACE: [stercus venio] I have learned from my mistakes, and feel I could repeat them exactly.
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