Guglielmo Roberto Deidzoeb was not born in or about Yazoo City, Mississippi. He was, however, born in San Diego, California, in a Naval Hospital, on the 197th anniversary of the formation of the United States Navy¹. Deidzoeb therefore believes that it is not merely his duty, but his birthright, to swear like a sailor.

At the age of two weeks, Roberto was spirited away to Michigan, less like the Baby Moses and more like a baby whose father just finished his Viet Nam-era stint at Miramar and transfered back home to a naval base in Michigan. Spending his formative years in the Great Lakes State would cause young Deidzoeb to understand the words "pop" and "soda" as meaning "soft drink" and "baking ingredient," instead of "corporal punishment from a teacher" and "soft drink." Respectively.

Roberto believes that imbibing Dr. Pepper heals the soul in much the same way that Rastafarians believe ganja does. He is a Pepper. She is a Pepper. They are Peppers. We are Peppers. Wouldn't you like to accept the Lord God Jimi Hendrix as your personal savior too?

The legs of horses have been known to fall off when in hearing range of Deidzoeb's harmonica playing. He also uses banjo and bottleneck slide guitar to abuse the works of Black Sabbath, Our Savior Jimi, and TAFKAUSACKAP².

Lately Deidzoeb has been attempting to destroy the world through fiction and role-playing game design. His efforts in game design can be viewed at You Stupid B***h! (the Dungeons and Dragons Of Your Marriage) and at the Down Beat PBEM page, and his fiction and true stories should be viewed at AWKWARDLY.

If you're thinking about visiting the states, don't miss Deidzoeb's travel guide/travel advisory called F**k Texas at [URL has been removed by moderators in the past, presumably because Texans might be offended, but you can find it if you poke around at Awkwardly, see above].

A forthcoming Great American Novel, concerning a young man who wants to become a pirate and takes his first step by stealing a jet ski, will not be available for some time yet, due to the delays of having a wife and job and stuff like that.

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¹ Astute observers may notice that this is the same date Philip the Fair ordered the Knights Templar to be arrested in 1307. Pure coincidence. To say that Deidzoeb could be the latest incarnation of Le Compte de Sainte Germaine based on this coincidence is surely beneath consideration, as he has been telling inquirers for at least the last 350 years.
² The Artist Formerly Known As [Untranslatable Symbol] And Currently Known As Prince. Once you hear "Little Red Corvette" on banjo, you'll swear it was written with a Dixieland band in mind.