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What the cattle won’t eat, the campus staff will!
May 1, 2009

Thorntons made too many Easter eggs this year. So, to save them all going to waste they were melted back down and turned into chocolate drops and loaded into giant plastic sacks.

These were then marketed to farmers for fattening up their beef cattle. The chocolate drops are much, much cheaper than grain to buy at the moment, and so one of our tutors brought several sacks (white and milk ) for her bullocks. The animals in question apparently took a mouthful each, chewed briefly, and then spat the back out.

So in the campus office this morning sit two large sacks, and loads of small plastic bags for people to help themselves to the remains of the cattle’s supper. At some point this weekend I’ll be making raspberry and white muffins. We’ll eat almost anything out here in the sticks.

(13 replies, Latest reply: Jul 7, 2009)

A wee short joke for yer librarian mates
Dec 18, 2008

Wonder if this will make it past the filters.



A bloke walks into a Glasgow library and says to the prim librarian,

'Excuse me Miss, dey ye hiv ony books on suicide?'

To which she stops doing her tasks, looks at him over the top of her glasses and says,

'Fook off, ye'll no bring it back!'

(No replies)

The way to a librarian’s heart.
Dec 11, 2008

Two mature students pop in to see me on their way to their evening class.

“I do hope you’ll drop over and see us when you lock up – we’re having a Christmas do.”

“Yes do come, we’ve got lots of .”

Well I might just happen to drop by.

(8 replies, Latest reply: Dec 11, 2008)

How do you get the star on top of the Christmas tree?
Dec 7, 2007

I’ve just received the college library’s Christmas tree for this year. As ever the staff at our garden centre (we’re predominantly an agricultural and countryside based college) have done me proud. I’ve been given a gorgeous, shapely tree with branches at an ideal angle for hanging baubles.

The problem however – the tree is 8ft tall at least. Even breaking various health and safety rules ( the boss isn’t about today) I can’t reach the top of the tree, or reach it sufficiently near the top to bend the tree down so I can reach it.

Any suggestions as to how I get the star on?

Oh, and any suggestions of finding a helpful caretaker with a long stepladder will be met with . I’ve been waiting a year and two months now for the light bulb in my office to be replaced!

(6 replies, Latest reply: Dec 7, 2007)

Moving Complete
Apr 2, 2007

*opens door*

Come right in and make yourselves at home. Please ignore the pile of boxes that are still littering the floor.

We've moved. We're in, and we're nearly unpacked.

(4 replies, Latest reply: Apr 2, 2007)