| | |  | This is the Conversation Forum for Joy Electric - The Band | |
| | | Subject: A834121 - Joy Electric - The Band
Posted Sep 21, 2002 by Mu Beta
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| | Posting
3
  | | Hiya Jesso.
Not a bad entry. 
If I may humbly suggest a few suggestions:
The first couple of paragraphs are a bit free-form in style. They're sort of, you know, like you're being...um...spoken to by a real sort of person. This style tends to get frowned upon by the sub-editors, and may need to be a bit more formal. That said, don't become a history textbook - it's always nice to keep the original Researcher's style in the Entry.
Take out some of the hyperbole, all the question marks in the first subheader, for example. Use
<LINK HREF="http://URL">write stuff here</LINK>
...to link to Joy Electric's website, and don't advertise mp3's - I doubt whther that would go down very well at all with the BBC. 
Take out the horizontal rule before the Discography. It's a bit pointless there.
The complete track-listing is certainly impressive, but it's a long, painful slog for anyone who just wants a bit of background on the band(person!). I've written a few entries on musicians for h2g2 now, and I find the best way is to give the album title, write a few notes about its style, and then pick out a few outstanding tracks (as with A737633 - shameless plug, I know). It seems like a shame to knock out some of this hard work - maybe you could split it, and do two entries on Joy Electric 1994-1998, and Joy Electric 1998-2002.
This sounds really critical, I know, but there is good material here, and with a bit of tweaking it should be in the Edited Guide.
Right - now you've got to go and Review A834266 in return.
B
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| | | Subject: A834121 - Joy Electric - The Band
Posted Sep 23, 2002 by Smij
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| | Posting
6
| | The word 'spastic' used to be used to describe people with cerebral palsy. But I notice the amount of times it gets used on American TV shows ('Summers, you drive like a spaz') shows that meaning has either never made it across the pond or else it died out fairly quickly.
Over here, of course, it's a general term of schoolyard abuse. Usually the class joker gets called a 'Spazzy' on a daily basis, which can be quite distressing to the child at the time.... my doctor says the long-term trauma might live on with me for the rest of my live. <sob>
Jims
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