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This is the Conversation Forum for Talking Point: Child Discipline << The Rock Spankings >> Subject: The difference between kids and adults... Posted Apr 27, 2001 by Vonce   Posting 1 ...is age. Kids are entitled to their own lives, just as are adults. To strike a child is a crime against the future, because it teaches kids that the only way to solve a problem is through violence. I know from experience that this is not the case. Adults seem to forget that children are human beings, too. It is wrong to strike and adult, and it is wrong to strike a child. Read the First Reply to this Posting Subject: The difference between kids and adults... Posted May 2, 2001 by scaryfish This is a reply to this Posting   Posting 2 hmmm... A young nephew (about 3 or 4 I think) was around at my house. He tried stuffing things into the video recorder. My parents said "No. Don't do that" to him. He kept doing it. They took away the thing he was trying to stuff into it. He took something else and stuffed it into it. A light smack on the hand was the result. He stopped trying to stuff things into our VCR. I've since heard that his parents took the no-smacking approach, and as a result have had about 3 VCRs ruined by this child. I believe it is important to reinforce the boundaries you set to a child. Subject: The difference between kids and adults... Posted May 2, 2001 by Uber Phreak This is a reply to this Posting   Posting 3 ...is experiance and knowledge. a three year old child is not a miniture adult. they lack language skill to equate "no" and "dont do that" as stopping the action being performed. Read the First Reply to this Posting Subject: The difference between kids and adults... Posted May 2, 2001 by Mina - Older on the outside, inside still 14 This is a reply to this Posting   Posting 4 I'm not sure that's true. They certainly understand "leave that alone" from as young as 18 months! that's not much different from "don't do that". Subject: The difference between kids and adults... Posted May 3, 2001 by androyd "utopian dreamer" This is a reply to this Posting   Posting 5 I teach lots and lots of three year olds, some with quite severe special needs and many who have a poor understanding of english and they all understand what 'no' means though they have various reactions to the word being used from compliance through to ignoring it completely, depending on the child, their mood, the circumstances, the weather etc. Read the First Reply to this Posting Subject: The difference between kids and adults... Posted May 3, 2001 by Uber Phreak This is a reply to this Posting   Posting 6 but i would like to bet that a smack on the hand would make them stop. every one of them. Read the First Reply to this Posting Subject: The difference between kids and adults... Posted May 3, 2001 by Mina - Older on the outside, inside still 14 This is a reply to this Posting   Posting 7 Then you know little about children, because the more you smack them, the more they get used to it, until you end up having to hit them with a hairbrush before they will take any notice. Read the First Reply to this Posting Subject: The difference between kids and adults... Posted May 3, 2001 by Uber Phreak This is a reply to this Posting   Posting 8 but you say that telling them "no" and not backing it up with any more of a punishment does not lose any of its stopping power? Read the First Reply to this Posting Subject: The difference between kids and adults... Posted May 4, 2001 by Mina - Older on the outside, inside still 14 This is a reply to this Posting   Posting 9 I didn't say that at all, in fact in another conversation I said the exact opposite. If you train your kids that "no" means "no" and not "well I'd rather you didn't but I can't be bothered to stop you so go right ahead" then they will respond to "no" without any other punishment most of the time. Read the First Reply to this Posting Subject: The difference between kids and adults... Posted May 5, 2001 by Uber Phreak This is a reply to this Posting   Posting 10 how do you train a small child that way? Read the First Reply to this Posting Subject: The difference between kids and adults... Posted May 5, 2001 by Mina - Older on the outside, inside still 14 This is a reply to this Posting   Posting 11 I quote from my posting in Limits and Routine: "If you tell a child not to touch something and they do anyway, get up and take it away. If you tell a child not to leave the room, and they do, go and bring them back." That's how you teach them that no means no. By meaning it yourself, and enforcing it. Once you have been doing this for a few years they are pretty much convinced by it. Read the First Reply to this Posting Subject: The difference between kids and adults... Posted May 9, 2001 by androyd "utopian dreamer" This is a reply to this Posting   Posting 12 and if they are violent then you give them time out in a chair - sitting still in a chair for even a short period of time - 1 minute per age of child is a good test- is the worst torture for many children, far more effective than physical punishment. The thought of hitting a child - seeing a child hit by an adult - makes me both sick inside and angry - you are saying that physical violence towards a child IS OK as long as you can justify it - which I fundamentally disagree with. It is not OK - I have lost my temper with my own children and slapped them in anger - it has never solved anything - as for hitting other people's children! I would consider myself a complete and utter failure if I did- it is about being firm fair and consistent and enforcing boundaries clearly and consistently - in extreme cases using restraint - but holding a child is a long way from striking them. Conversation list Most of the content on h2g2 is created by h2g2's Researchers, who are members of the public. The views expressed are theirs and unless specifically stated are not those of the BBC. The BBC is not responsible for the content of any external sites referenced. In the event that you consider anything on this page to be in breach of the site's House Rules, please click on the relevant button to alert our Moderation Team. Conversation list

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