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A free mind! A free spirit! >> | |
| | | Subject: Lemme here you say YEAH!
Posted Aug 2, 1999 by Jax
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  | | Here I am, with all the support of an underwired bra, I am with you man!
Funny story about the underground - I was on the district Line last week at lunchtime, and it was hot an packed. I managed to get a seat since I was armed with crutches (awe  ) and there was a horrendous stink of BO. As usual everyone was ignoring it, apart from this girl who suddenly start shouting at the top of her voice"MY GOD AM I THE ONLY PERSON THAT CAN SMELL B.O." she then proceeded to spray her perfume around the whole carriage. She got off at the next stop leaving us of coughing and spluttering but all finding it highly amusing!
[This is a true story all names have been changed to protect identities] 
Whey Hey
Jax
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| | | Subject: Lemme here you say YEAH!
Posted Aug 2, 1999 by Jonny
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| | And therein lies the secret to the success of this campaign. Increase the number of "nutters" using the Underground service. This woman and her perfume no doubt caused amusement and general chatter around the carriage, far more effective than simply talking to whoever happened to be sitting close to her. My suggestion, therefore, is to pretend to be drunk or a religious fanatic (maybe even a drunk religious fanatic). Once you've managed to managed to create an air of slight discomfort, dismebark and the conversations will flow. Given enough activists, over time, chatting on The Tube will become second nature and everyones' commute will become a happy time of socialising rather than a dreary trudge.
Oh, and always carry a can of deodorant.
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| | | Subject: Lemme here you say YEAH!
Posted Aug 4, 1999 by Jax
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| | I was just passing through and wondered how the support was going. I have to go on the aforementioned District Line today. I have come armed with Deoderant and Perfume this time. I used the Central Line last night which was packed full of City Men reading oversized papers. There was a chappy next to me reading the Telegraph and I was doing a balancing act with my shopping. The train turned the sharp bend before Liverpool Street and bang Jax falls into the paper. He trampolined me back into a guy who was reading the FT and then I managed to steady myself.
Thank god for big papers, if either had been reading the Sun or the Evening Standard, I would have fallen arse over tit!!
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| | | Subject: Lemme here you say YEAH!
Posted Aug 4, 1999 by Merkin
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| | Good story. Support is not quite as good a GIRR, but then, this isn't a pertinantly H2G2 revolution. We need to discover the other London H2G2ers out there. I know Peta is a heavy tuber (and that's got nothing to do with potatoes), so we deifnately need to recruit her. I think I'll go and hunt her down...
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| | | Subject: Lemme here you say YEAH!
Posted Aug 4, 1999 by Jonny
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| | I'm not a Londoner at the moment, but should I decide to return I'll certainly be an active campaigner by not simply pretending to be drunk. I think Ant's about to become a regular user of The Tube, I'll try to point him in this direction.
By the way, does anyone have any feeling as to whether all lines attract equally unfriendly passengers? The Picadilly Line, for example, may be a frendlier due to the holiday-maker Heathrow traffic.
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| | | Subject: Lemme here you say YEAH!
Posted Aug 6, 1999 by Merkin
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| | Excellent show. Anyway, I'm off to this Eclipse shinanigans, so don't expect any replies for a moment (he says hoping there'll be at least one posting in his absense!).
City line's definately the nastiest. I have to admit I like the Picadilly the best, though the Circle is good cos it attracts the nutters to it's neverending cycle...
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| | | Subject: Facts about the Tube
Posted Aug 31, 1999 by Jax
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| | The further South you go on the Northern line the scabbier it gets! And the same with the further North you go on the Northern Line.
Victoria and Piccadilly are Snobby prime lines for pick pocketers!
Central is pretty normal - used by City people and those who read BIG papers!
Circle and District can be pretty scary as these are the ones for Kensington High Street (If you have ever been to the market there, you will know what I mean)
The Jubilee is pretty boring since it doesn't go to places like Euston, Kings Cross, "The East End", Shephards Bush, White City or New Cross! Same as the Bakerloo, usually used by many many Tourists - Yuck!!
And about sums up my 4 years of Tube Experience. As for tube stations, Green Park is one to visit if you like rats as they run around ducking and diving down on the tracks - unfortunately this being the tube station for Mayfair!
Lets face it, London is full of nutters - I know, some may say I come under that very same category!
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| | | Subject: You simply shouldn't talk
Posted Nov 14, 1999 by Mole
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| | It's an unofficial rule this talking on the tube stuff cos in the main it attracts nutters and bores who yell into their mobiles
More on this here:
http://victorian.fortunecity.com/finsbury/254/tuberules.html#talk
And as for drunks you should Stand clear of the droning bores
It's not an official annoucement but it should be. What normally happens is you get on the tube and you see a spare seat, make a beeline for it, sit down, and only then do you wonder why the seat was empty and people are looking at you strangely. Then you smell the alcohol, then you realise you've sat next to a drunken bore.
Comments like "All right, how are you, then love?", "Fancy a swig", and "You lot are a miserable bunch" are hurled at you. Particularly annoying is the "Cheer up it might never happen". Now until you got on the train and sat next to this man (sorry to be sexist but it's usually a man), you never realised you were miserable in the first place. However, you certainly are now and you try to avoid eye contact and read something. But the drunken droning bore will not be deterred. "What's that you're reading then?", or "Come on darling give us a smile". The only thing that works here is to give as good as you get and drone onto him about how you would be miserable if you hadn't had a drink and had just left the office or were on the way to the office with a mountain of work in front of you, and then there's the mortgage and don't you feel old running for the train, and don't policemen look younger and younger these days, and isn't the price of lager ridiculous etc, etc. You get my drift. Just make sure they can't get a word in edgeways and with a bit of luck they'll fall into a drunken slumber or leg it off the train to avoid you.
http://victorian.fortunecity.com/finsbury/254/tuberules.html#bores
Saying all that I think your campaign's a good laugh and I'll add a link to it to my site if you don't mind
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