Welcome to h2g2's attempt to decipher the mystery that is the song 'The 12 Days of Christmas'. You've come to the page that is concentrating on the line Nine Ladies Dancing, and here's what our Researchers came up with when we asked them what on earth this line meant.

• Handbags - a dancing girl's best friend. Concerned that you're not a funky groover? Worried that you won't catch the eye of that sexy new post-room boy at the office Christmas party? Hey, no problem: stick your handbag down and get boogying round it. It must work: after all everyone else does it, and it's got to be better than photocopying your bottoms.

• At London's Savoy Hotel there's a delightful afternoon dance where they lay on cucumber sandwiches and old ladies go along and dance with each other (though not with old men, interestingly). Anyone who's more used to partying until dawn and banging their head to a 160 beats-per-minute 4/4 beat should proably not attend - and that includes anyone who dances round a handbag. This is a classy event, you know.

• Ever seen the Chippendales? Well you know exactly that this line's about, then. Enough said.