Welcome to h2g2's attempt to decipher the mystery that is the song 'The 12 Days of Christmas'. You've come to the page that is concentrating on the line Seven Swans A-swimming, and here's what our Researchers came up with when we asked them what on earth this line meant.

• Swans are beautiful as they glide gracefully over the lakes of wintry England, and this line is, according to some, obviously a romantic reference. But get a swan angry and you're in trouble - that romantic notion of two swans meeting up and forming a heart shape with their necks might be a winner for Valentine's Day cards, but seven of the buggers is more a signal to get the hell out of there rather than to get down to it. Trust us. Swans are not romantic.

• In England swans are all owned by the Queen, and it's an offence to kill them. This should be borne in mind if a swan happens to wander into the beer garden in the pub and starts supping your pint. Look upon it as an honour and thanks your stars they can't handle too much alcohol.

• If you look more closely at the mechanics of a swimming swan, then you do wonder what all this romantic mush is all about. For example, the ballet Swan Lake is famous for a complete lack of swimming swans. They dance, skate and generally have a ball, but swimming? Nope. It seems even the most talented ballerina can't make the doggy paddle look graceful.