Welcome to h2g2's attempt to decipher the mystery that is the song 'The 12 Days of Christmas'. You've come to the page that is concentrating on the line Six Geese A-laying, and here's what our Researchers came up with when we asked them what on earth this line meant.

• If you're wondering why geese should make such excellent gifts, consider their suitability for use as guard dogs: they make a paticularly evil-sounding honking and hissing noises when disturbed and they spit too. They're also very violent, so if you can't be bothered to invest in a rottweiler or a doberman, find yourself a gaggle of geese and persuade them to hang around and protect your dwelling. The only problem is that geese - especially Canada geese - tend to migrate to warmer climes in the winter, which isn't something that rottweilers or dobermans tend to do¹. And geese don't like collars much either, so perhaps it's not such a good idea after all. Oh well.

• Goose down is a luxury duvet filling - or at least the fluffy chest hairs are (the wing feathers are for cheapskates). It's superior to duck down² which is why the geese are so reluctant to let humans have it. Every ounce of quality down has about two million fluffy filaments that interlock and trap air, which is why it's so snuggly in the cold winter months.

• One thing's for sure: this line has absolutely nothing to do with the practice of goosing, or pinching someone on the behind. And goosing has absolutely nothing to do with giving someone a melvin (also known as a wedgy) in which someone is picked up by their underwear, often to the sound of higher-than-normal screeching³. We just thought we should make that perfectly clear.