Today
May 8, 2007
Today I reminded my husband about OUR son's speach thearpy appointment.
While his mother was there.
My husband can't be there as he is working afternoons, my mother in law proceeded to tell me how she couldn't be there because she had an appointment also.
I explained that I didn't need to have someone there with me (thinking she was feeling guilty and maybe my husband too) but I though I should remind my husband because he may have forgoten (I don't know what shifts he has and when so I didn't know he was on afters until he told me)
His mother repliled 'oh he doesn't forget about impotant things'
yea right
Thats why I had to remind him of maintenace payments, thats why I had to remind him of dates he had to look after mini man and that's why I have to remind him of appointments and birthdays because he always remembers 'important things'. This is the same man who forgot his own father's birthday until I gave him a gift from mini man to give to his father! 
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One horrendas year and a single mum: My side of the story
May 5, 2007
I've decided now to keep a diary of all this, so where to start ummm let me see
APRIL 2006
I get told by my husbands mother that he is not happy at all, in fact he is pretty miserable. I knew this but thought it was to do with the fact that money was tight, not anything to do with me.
Apparently it was me (oh joy) I was apparently being tolerated for the sake of our son. I'm getting ahead of myself here. Now I of course wanted to talk with him about this, he was on nights, so yes I agree not a great time for discussions. Thing was I was worried, I needed to have (hopefully) my mind put to rest, so I could be 'ok'.
I tackled him about it that day when he was home from work, turned out he no longer loved me and was tolerating me because he thought if he finished things I would stop him seeing his son. The whole 'not letting him see our little one' just proclaimed to me how little he knew me for one, what was worse was that he had felt like this for a while and had never said anything.
I then started making noises about going to my dads, he didn't want me to go, so that night I stayed. Because it was half term (I work at a school) I had plently of time to think, and think I did, I started to wonder what I was waiting around for, after all he had told me he didn't love me so why on earth did he want me around. I made the decision and went. Packed all mine and my son's things and threw myself upon my dad's mercy  .
So there I am, living with my parents, completely broken. That is excatly how I felt, broken, and that is how I still feel in a way. I'm completely livid with myself for wasting 9 years of my life on someone who evidently wasn't worth it.
I filed for a divorce. This apparently was quite a shock to my husband. I'm not sure why, after all what other step was there to take? At one point during this whole mess he accused me of 'just walking out and not wanting to talk' yet his mother had told me that she had suggested counciling and he had said there was no way he was going to do that. He knew where I was, he knew where my dad lived and he knew my dads number, so had he wanted to talk he could have at any time.
So where am I now?
Well My son and I are living in renting accommodation that we can't really afford. So everything is a real big struggle. Financial matters regarding the house myself and my husband owned are still being 'processed' are people dragging their feet? Maybe so. I will never ever get back on the property ladder, I've been told I can get a £40,000 mortgage, I'll probably get £30,000 from the house if I'm lucky, that £70,000 no where near enough to buy a house. The council are a waste of time regarding housing I may as well bang my head against a brick wall. So here we are single mum struggling to give her son a decent life. We are further with the house now, at last my husband as got together his disclosure (something that started in November 2006) so fingers crossed, we will soon be a little healthier financially.
I have decided to keep a diary of our struggles here so if you don't want to hear it then I suggest you unsub. Just a warning Im sur I've missed loads of info out, so anything you don't understand please feel free to ask.
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- Latest reply: May 10, 2007
The incredible shrinking of Mizzp
Aug 31, 2006
Whoo hoo in between sizes again *dances* 
Come down from an english size 20 to a size 16 and now the 16 are getting a little loose but I'm not quite small enough for a 14.
I am determined though
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- Latest reply: Sep 6, 2006
Clarity
Aug 9, 2006
probably haven't spelt that right but hey who cares
anyway it has this habit of suddenly appearing and clearing the day
I'm glad it's here, things can never ever go back once it's appeared and for that I'm also grateful.
I'm glad that the sun is shining now, I glad that stormy waters have been calmed, and I'm especially glad that realisation has dawned, bright and beautiful.
So things have now changed for good, and being the person that I am I would say it's devine intervention.
 I am so very happy
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I spoke to someone today
Aug 8, 2006
I spoke to someone today
They told me what a wonderful person you are
Kind, gentle and loving
Strong, determined and fair
I spoke to someone today and
I'm telling you this now
So that you will always remember
What a perfect angel you are
Read this now and read it when
You feel your load is hard to bear
When you feel you legs start to buckle
Take a rest Angel you deserve it
Been there for so may others
It's time now to take your turn
to be carried for a little of the way
and give those beautiful wings a rest
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- Latest reply: Aug 8, 2006
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