This site really has nothing to do with platypi, pink or otherwise. If you are looking for the (very grouchy) Platypus, he lives on my homepage: A Virtual Waste of Time.

Please, if you are easily frightened, do not touch said platypus! Having said that...

We're a hedge. Move along.

Now what?

On this planet, I...

(See, I told you this was going to be about me!)

annoy my kids, play, quilt, write, decorate, paint, draw, design, arrange flowers, decopage, craft, garden, shop, diy, love my animals, enjoy time with friends, appreciate nature, and waste as much time as humanly possible with pointless drivel (like 5{-1*6}+{8*9}=42) on the computer. Oh, and I try to not anger the platypus.

On H2G2 I...

On second thought, I will tell you about some of the cool things on H2G2.

Unlike some people who have had dozens of entries edited, I've only had two, Chain Letters, and Fireworks. Maybe some day I will actually get around to writing more articles, and perhaps they may even be worth editing. Until then, these two are all I have to offer.

I am the Official Keeper of "The Wonder Book of Useless Knowledge¹," sometimes known as "The Useless Book of Wonder Knowledge ²." If you too would like to keep something go ask them (nicely) if you can become an official Keeper. They are quite nice, really.

Do you have appreciation for the GOO?
I do.
If, in fact, you do too,
Go see the others who do also.
Classic Goo Fan Club

The Thingites just never get the hang of Thurs... oops, I mean Thing. If that particular day gives you fits, come to think of it, if any of them give you fits, go have a look!

I have a lightsaber!

If you are interested in working out the math for your user number... or if you are just interested in why anyone would want to do such a thing, check out The Myth of 42.

And finally, when you post to me, please smile. I think you will find the whole day (even if it is Thing) goes by much better with a smile on your face.

All Done

I suppose I could prattle on for a while, just to give you something to do. I'm good at that. I am good at other things as well. I am especially good at all the things at which I am good. You will have to talk to me to find out what those are, but only if you are really interested, or can at least fake it really well.

Alas, however, for now I am done. Thanks for stopping, hope you enjoyed your stay, have a wonderful _______ (morning/afternoon/evening/night/whatever), come again soon, keep hands and feet inside moving vehicle, read warning on label, refrigerate after opening, etc... Oh and, don't forget to say hello!

Useful information?

The word "useless" appears on this page 9 times. Oops, make that 10.

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¹ "The Wonder Book of Useless Knowledge" is reportedly filled with all the useless knowledge, in the world, which is what makes it such a wonder.
² Sometimes when consulting the book, we find it does not contain a certain bit of useless information, and therefore must become, for a time, the Useless Book of Wonder Knowledge. When this happens, it is for a period of time equal to, but not greater than the period of time I decide.