Hello, I'm Lochangel *pricks ears and whickers softly* - a chestnut filly keen on her oats and rather partial to toast and marmite too. Some of you might have lost money on me for which I apologise. Fewer of you might have won some. In which case mine is a bran mash thanks!

In another life I spent most of my time going .

My philosophy

I am a proud honorary member of the Happy Slappers, a group of ladies who charge around on horseback terrorising the Clare Valley. This is our manifesto:

Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body but rather to skid in sideways, champagne in one hand, chocolate in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming ‘Wooohooo! What a ride!!'

What I have been up to since I left

Just back from a tour of the Western Isles with the Marvellous Grissini Brothers, an Italian trapeze troupe most noted for their intense and ongoing battles with vertigo (they don't like to talk about it) and their intense and ongoing battles with each other. Despite sharing the same mother, only three of the five are actually related to each other.

I was under-seamstress with special responsibility for sequins, but deputised on tiaras when the wardrobe mistress ran off with the acrobat from a rival act. I also acted as mechanic to the fleet of clapped out metallic lilac cortinas that passed for the Brothers' transport. I chipped my nails on many a big end, I can tell you!

What I plan to do next

Making little spangly costumes for the feline members of Alfonso and his Very Angry Lions.

I have applied for the job, so keep your fingers crossed.