This is my H2G2 Page

This is my H2G2 page. There are many like it but this one is Mine. My H2G2 page is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me, my H2G2 page is useles.Without my H2G2 page I am usless.I must type my page true. I must spell more correctly than my enemy, who is trying to kill me. I must shoot him before he shoots me. I will. Before God I swear this creed; my H2G2 page and myself are defenders of my country, we are the masters of my enemy, we are the saviours of my life. So be it, until there is no enemy, but peace. Amen.¹

Smileys

Yep, Bluebottle has become another person to draw his own smileys. I would like to thank Roasted Amoeba for the help he gave and letting me use his computer.

Australian	JLego	JSurreal
Tomato	J Evil tomato (Wight Salads)	Apple
JSmi	Water Drop	JLord Smiley
JSaint Smiley	JBack of head smiley	Exploding brains smiley
Teapot	Dumbell	Barbell
JPunk	JTeenage Mutant Ninja Turtle	JSmiley avec Legs
JInvisible	Metric smiley	JLightbulb
Smiley of Borg	Ill	JMiss Smiley
Muscle smiley	JSee-through	JElectric-shock
Confused	JHalf-eaten	Doughnut
JChinese - by Roasted Amoeba	Flower power!	JPie chart
JSnail	Parachute	JMicroscopic
British	Millennium Dome	Bicycle
JSlimey Smiley	JSun	JBikini
JRadioactive	JEclipse	Isle of Wight

This is in Bad Taste

Do you feel sad? Depressed? Lonely? Do you wish you had someone to talk to? Something to do? Some activity to look forward to? Are you fed up of unpaid bills, and getting junk mail? Are you on a diet? Does your bum look big/small/medium sized in all the clothes you wear?
Then Commit Suicide! Just end your problems with a happy knife, and never be troubled by anything again. Join the Suicide Club. New members wanted.

Friends Pages

And Now For A Fish Called Honda

Once upon a time there was a Fish called Honda, and he had a motorbike. One day he took his motorbike for a walk in the wild woods. "Hello," he said to all those in the Forest. "I like playing with matches." "With matches?!?!" everyone else called as they saw his nice bike. They were so afraid, that they killed him. The moral of the story is to never talk to strangers.

Cool Links

I don't really believe in advertising, but here are some things that I think are really cool and should see.

• The Waterworks:
  • The Beach
  • The Swimming Pool
  • The Fountain
  • The Sewers
  • The River
  • The Public Toilets
  • The Lifeguard Station
  • The Sea
  • The Fish Pond
  • The Boat Yard
  • 0G's AntiGrav Nightclub
• So Long, And Thanks For Laughing - The H2G2 Joke Directory.
• Help compile a list of Things There Should Be More Of.
• Do you live in the South of England? Then join the Wessex Researchers Group.
• In fact, why not look around anywhere from my Links page?

A counter

I don't really know why I've got a counter. Is it vanity? Am I egotistical and want everyone to see I'm a well-visited page? Am I trying to copy everyone else who has a counter? Was I just trying to see if I was able to put a counter on my page? I don't know. But for some reason, I decided to have a counter, and here it is.From

And Finally...

Hello, this is the user page for Matt Sprack, or Bluebottle. I'm sorry if I am not in at the moment, but please click on a conversation below and leave your name and a message, and I'll contact you as soon as possible. BEEP!³

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¹ Adapted from Kubrick's Full Metal Jacket
² Small black print small black print small black print small black print small black print small black print.
³ No oak trees were harmed in the making of this page.