Bean 'flu
Jul 23, 2009
Got it. Or rather had it. Swine flu I guess. Still feel ancient and easily exhausted. Bleargh 
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Frenchbean's Mum
Jun 10, 2009
Mum was found in a coma this morning: a re-run of April, except that this time she is even less responsive and her breathing is shallow and intermittent.
Two of my brothers are with her and I'm waiting for news. She's not been taken to hospital, but is in her own bed at home, which is what she requested after the last episode. Yes, she knew it would happen again and hoped that it would be another case of simply not waking up one morning. We all hoped with her. And how fortunate that it seems to have worked out as she wished. Her other hope was that this time it would be fatal and she'd not have to go through a second recovery. I am crossing my fingers, but at the same time I want her to live forever because she's my Mum and I can't imagine life without her.
Fb
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The amazing disappearing woman
Jun 4, 2009
There have been times over the last few weeks when I've felt myself disappearing. I feel insubstantial, insignificant and worthless.
This is Not A Good Thing. It usually presages a bout of depression. And of course I am now thinking too much, because I don't want the black pit to swallow me up - which means that it probably will.
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Frenchbean update
May 24, 2009
My time on hootoo has been sporadic and half-hearted since I returned home from Scotland three weeks ago. I've been very taken up with far-flung considerations as Mum has returned home and got to grips with her life once more. I've also been quite occupied in the house and garden here, as well as having a new manager starting at work.
 House - I got home to find Winter  had snuck up and settled on the Canterbury Plains when I wasn't looking. One of the first jobs was to make a front door curtain to keep out the chilly southerly blasts that come straight from the Scott Base. And an additional sausage to block the draughts at the bottom of the door.
I discovered early on that my much-anticipated woodburner was useless  Wood didn't actually burn very well at all and the house filled up with billowing smoke every time the door was opened. Heat output was minimal. It took two weeks for Lord and Lady Land to realise that this was a Serious State of Affairs ( I suggested I might withold rent) and to my joy I now have a woodburner which won't go out   It was fixed four days ago and has burned ever since. The house is now warm, dry and a pleasure to be in.
Garden - Most of my veggies were lightly frosted while I was away, so there was a mass of dead and dying vegetation to be tidied up, as well as the normal amount of hidden food that I'd failed to harvest: a pumpkin beneath leaves, a couple of dozen beans deep in the wigwams. Weekends have been spent (keeping warm) clearing, weeding, digging, manuring, putting down weedmat and finally planting the garlic  Oh, and sweeping/raking up leaves and mulching the shrub beds 
Work - To my delight the new manager started two weeks ago  It's early days yet, but so far he is asking the right questions and saying the right things. I'm treating him gently, but have been speaking my mind to his manager.
My trip back to GB - and the inevitable re-balanced perspective on life that resulted from it - has led me to start being quite vocal  about the appalling state of affairs in my bit of the office. I have made no bones about the fact that I am underemployed, unmotivated, have no direction, have no idea what the office priorities are and will be leaving here in 16 months' time unless things take a turn for the better  Suddenly I have a lot of friends here: all folk who feel the same but who have been too fed up, demotivated and scared speak out  Hurrah!  There is a growing groundswell of a desire for real change and for the first time I feel part of the place  - albeit for unexpected reasons.
So h2g2 has suffered from some neglect I'm afraid. And will probably continue to do so until I have a bit more time. I haven't forgotten you all though 
Fb
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Jetlagged Frenchbean is home
May 5, 2009
Home <phew>
Long flight (32 hours, four planes).
11 hours time difference to train my body to deal with.
Mum still in the Cottage Hospital but improving.
No real rest for the last four weeks.
Back to work tomorrow
Fb
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