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25th November 2009
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Name: Atlantic_Cable [Researcher: 196159]

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ABOUT THIS RESEARCHER

Created: 9th June 2002 
Star Trek Nut
I Survived 
Single Sign-on
Welcome, Unknown Visitor. dontpanic
Living so long in an unpopular arm of the galaxy (ZZ9 Plural Z Alpha) and to make matters worse, without digital television in an age when sci-fi was becoming really popular again, I pounced on every episode of any kind of sci fi I could find and devoured it completely. The result left me addicted to sci-fi trivia, so much that at university I was banned for life from the sci fi quizes for always winning. As a consequence I was the perfect candidate for the role of quiz master, writing and presenting the annual sci-fi quiz. In the spirit of competition (we wanted to win) I was allowed back on the team for the inter-university sci-fi quiz.
The A Team van
Star Trek - The Project

Founder

If you're waiting for me to reply to a posting, don't worry. I usually have a few entries on the go at a time.

FAQs

Got a question? Check out my FAQ page.

Current Main projects

I'm currently starting a community project called Star Trek - The Project. There isn't much on Star Trek in H2G2, so I thought I'd add one. It is based losely on the principles of The Cathederal of Terry Pratchett.

I've also added a few resources for prospective contributors to take advantage of. Check out the main page for more details.

Current Sub projects

Nothing at the moment but I am now more active in The Cathedral of Terry Pratchett.

Last Main project

My Computers in Science Fiction project is finally complete! Phew, what a rollercoaster. It includes the entries on: TV, Movies, Books, Contemporary movies, androids, robots and cyborgs. Each has it's own entry. It took ages. It's not a definitive guide to the computers, just an exploration of their evolution.

My guide to Temporal Mechanics is finally in the EG! Queue much celebration and asprin (you'll understand when you read it!).

Memberships

h2g2as: Charting the Uncharted Backwaters of the Universe

I am a member of the following H2G2 organisations;

My Links

 
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Check out: The Avenue of Small Gods

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Get your own H2G2 Code!

Some of My Favourite Entries

Parkinson's Law
How To Fight SPAM

Motto

Aut tace aut loquere meliora silencio

    - only when the words outperform silence.

My Callsign

wah AAAARRRGHH!!!

Favourite Phrase

Currently my favourite phrase is:

During the space race, the Americans spent $2 million and 5 years developing a pen that would write in outer space at boiling and freezing temperatures and in a vacuum.

The Russians took a pencil1.

Favourite Motto

From the h2g2 Society of Time Travellers:

'LEASPRAY RYTUS OTNAY OTAY ILKUM OURAY ANCESTUM'
'Please try not to kill your own grandfather'

Annecdote

"I remember when this introduction used to be one paragraph long."

1 There is a similar annecdote: When the Russians were designing Buran, their copy of the American Space Shuttle, they were faced with a decision. Build three highly complex, robust and re-usable engines on the back of the shuttle, or place four "one-off" disposable engines on the base of the fuel tank2. They went for option B. They also came up with a feasability studty that showned that the shuttle was a highly inefficient and expensive way to get into space. Which is why it only flew once. Without crew.
2 The logic is clever, after all, why pump the fuel from the external tank into the shuttle to burn it, when you can simply pump it to the bottom of the fuel tank itself?


VOLUNTEER BADGES

Post Reporter
Sub Editor
25 Edited Entries

RESEARCHER DATA
Name:

Atlantic_Cable
Last posted: 4 Weeks Ago
Researcher Number:

196159

Referenced Entries:

H2G2 Astronomy Society Home Page
Parkinson's Law
The Avenue of Small Gods
H2G2 Researcher Code - Version 1.1
How to Fight Spam
h2g2 Society of Time Travellers
The Open Debating Society
Computers In Science Fiction - Novels and Short Stories
Computers In Science Fiction - TV
The Cathedral of Terry Pratchett
Robots in Science Fiction
Cyborgs in Science Fiction
Jedi Academy (h2g2 Star Wars RPG 3.0 years old)
Computers in Science Fiction - Contemporary Movies
Computers In Science Fiction - Classic Movies
Androids in Science Fiction
Computers In Science Fiction - the Basics
Star Trek - The Project
Temporal Mechanics - as Explained by TV and Film
The Temple of I.D.I.C.
Star Trek - The Project: Your Very Own Ship
My H2G2 FAQs

Referenced Researchers:

Discworld Cathedral Clergy

CONVERSATIONS
CONVERSATIONCOMMUNITYLATEST POSTLATEST REPLY
Klingon Bird of Preyh2g24 Weeks AgoNo replies
He's not wrong...h2g2Jul 16, 2009Jul 26, 2009
Jokeathon - Tell A Jokeh2g2Oct 28, 2003Apr 5, 2009
H2G2 A/Sh2g2No PostingFeb 3, 2009
<No subject> h2g2No PostingJan 22, 2009
Writing Signsh2g2No PostingAug 16, 2008
BBC Homepageh2g2Jul 28, 2008No replies
Commission My Shiph2g2Apr 2, 2008No replies
FireFox2h2g2No PostingJan 29, 2008
Making Moneyh2g2No PostingJan 27, 2008
Show More Conversations 
MESSAGES
Leave a MessageLATEST POST
H2G2 A/SFeb 3, 2009
No subject Jan 22, 2009
Writing SignsAug 16, 2008
BBC HomepageJul 28, 2008
BatteriesMar 26, 2007
Forty-TwoMar 9, 2007
Lebanon Jewel UpdatesJul 10, 2006
Subbing the Polari entryApr 21, 2006
Subbing the London Underground entryFeb 25, 2006
subbing LebanonJan 26, 2006

Show More Messages
JOURNAL
Oh for the love of - - - -!
Jan 27, 2004

I am now working for a bank selling mortgages to people who call in. These are sometimes direct customers, but usually independant financial advisors (IFAs)

I am only just out of training and still not fully up to speed and therefore have several people nearby who can help me.

I got a call from a female IFA asking if she could take an application to approval (basically the bank saying that in principle we are willing to lend you this amount of money)

I went through the system, and stopped at the most important part. The Mortgage screen shows how much the property is and how much the customer wants. I went past it as it was already complete, this then performs a credit check and goes to the illustration page, where they select exactly what kind of mortgage they want (discount, fixed, etc).

It was set at £60,000 loan and I asked if this was correct.

The IFA said: No, they only need £59,000.

Great I thought, nice and easy.

I went back to the mortgage screen and noticed that it was only asking for £55,000. This meant it had been illustrated for £5000 more than they had asked for. I changed it to £59,000 and went through another credit search.

Yup, you guessed it. It was declined. So I told the IFA and said I would refer this to the underwriters.

"That's not good enough" she said. "We need to put an offer in fairly soon."

My manager told me to put her on hold and said I should physically go to the underwriters ( a few metres away) and talk to them.

I promised to call the IFA back ASAP and did so. They told me they would work on it straight away, but didn't know how long it would take.

I called the IFA back.

"How long will it take?"

"I don't know, but they are working on it RIGHT NOW."

"Yes, but how long will it take?"

"I don't know."

"But they need to put an offer in by the end of business today. They're sitting with me now."

That's 16:30 and it was 15:15.

I promised to go back and hurry them up.

Anyway, long story short, the underwriter brought it back up to me herself, but I was on another call. This was only 20 mins after my call.

A friend of mine called the IFA back and went all the way through the application until he asked:

"Can I have the bank details for paying the mortgage and for the monthly payments."

Whereupon he was told

"I don't have them."


(all together now...)

OH FOR THE LOVE OF - - - -!

Discuss this entry (No replies)

Classically Obvious
Nov 3, 2003

Just walked past a cupboard in the store room. It was open and inside was a notice saying:

"If what you are looking for is not here, please try the other cupboards."

Brilliant!

Discuss this entry - 2 replies - Latest reply: Nov 3, 2003

Once for yes, twice for no.
Jun 27, 2003

I offered a customer a divert, he said there's no other number, so I then asked if he wanted an out of service message.

He grunted, which I took to be a yes.

Discuss this entry (No replies)

My journet to the Twilight Zone
Jun 22, 2003

I'm at my sister's for a week. Her boyfriend bought a new optical mouse for the XP laptop he's got and installed the drivers, then re-booted as it told him.

The computer wouldn't start. It kept going to Blue screen of death and reset too quickly for me to see what was wrong, but it seemed to be a partition error.

I tried a few things.

Eventually I needed the boot disk, which was in his lab (he's a PhD student) a few mins away. Off we went, got to the lab and discovered that two medical fridges and freezers had stopped working and the specimens (very expensive and very hard to replace) were defrosting.

Quickly donning latex gloves we transferred the specimens to working frides and freezers, then got the disks and went home. Upon starting the computer, it loaded to blue screen, but asked if I wanted to skip the disk check. I said yes, then Windows loaded normally. I'm using it now.

But if it hadn't broken, we'd never have gone to the lab and £1000s and months of work would have been lost.

Spooky or what?

Do do do do, do do do do. You are about to enter - The Twilight Zone.....

Discuss this entry (No replies)

They make gevernment agencies look competent.
Jun 19, 2003

I just changed jobs from faults to billing. I continue to work in the same building.

We asked: "If faults gets really busy, will we be put back?"
We were told: "No."
We asked: "Yeah, but what if there's a big problem in the country?"
We were told: "Wouldn't make a difference, you're billing now."

Yesterday there was a big electrical storm in England, lots of lines down.

We got put back on faults.

I don't mind myself, but we have a floorwalker from Dundee helping us out and she was bored out her skull and went home early. And it's YET ANOTHER complete U-turn on policy. wah

Discuss this entry (No replies)

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A49011356How To Run A Webcomich2g2 EditedApr 15, 2009
A45561080Intussusceptionh2g2 EditedJan 30, 2009
A20182970Adding H2G2 Search to Firefox Searchh2g2 -Feb 24, 2007
A4151918Open Source Softwareh2g2 -Jun 4, 2005
A3632005Dreamsh2g2 -May 5, 2005
A3128195Things to do in Birimingam when the rail network is dead - UPDATEh2g2 -Oct 13, 2004
A2769087The Turing Testh2g2 -Aug 5, 2004
A2724572Never Know Your IQh2g2 -Jun 9, 2004
A2719028The Prime Directive / General Order Number Oneh2g2 -Jun 7, 2004
A2693478Never Know Your IQh2g2 -Jun 2, 2004
Show more of My Guide Entries | Show more of My Edited Guide Entries
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