Bottoms - how to cover them
Feb 25, 2004
One of the most important aspects of responsible government is the ability to cover one's bottom. By this, I mean the skill of shifting responsibility for mistakes away from their logical home to some alternative venue - ideally an unassailable entity who is not damaged by the mistake or whose areas of responsibility are so different that, what would be a glaring ommision on your part is merely an administrative oversight on theirs.
There is, as with all such matters, a process to follow:
1. denial - no, not the longest river in Africa, but a strategy which is centred around the concept of refusing to admit that anything is wrong. For example: "We have impecable procedures in place to ensure that regrettable incidents such as the one described do not occur." This is masterly, because it shifts the mistake into the realms of the unforseen, which we all agree can't be planned for. But it does not actually explain why something regrettable has actually taken place, despite the procedures to prevent it.
2. admission that a mistake has been made, that the cause has been identified and steps taken to prevent it's reoccurrence. Oh, it's all so simple really - we (meaning someone else) did make a mistake, but now that we have worked out what it was (i.e. 'who did it'), we have taken steps to remedy the situation (they're emptying their desk into a sack and being escorted off the premises by building security). Of course, the reallity is that there is nothing to indicate how junior the scapegoat really is, or how many of his or her supervisors cleared the decision up the line without questioning it (or indeed having decreed that it would be this way) until the fan is spraying it around the room.
3. notwithstanding the measures taken already (they've left the building) we have instituted a full review. That is, we've asked some chaps whom we know rather well to do their best to look into it all and come up with an independent assessment of the situation - ideally before we have them over to dinner again.
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Fountain pens
Jan 29, 2002
Do not respond well to being chewed while thinking. Do not attempt to scratch your ear with one either - could lead to embarrasment if you have lots of absorbent ear-hairs.
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- Latest reply: Feb 1, 2002
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