BBC Home

Explore the BBC

h2g2
30th November 2009
Accessibility help
Text only



Name: swl [Researcher: 1775547]

Personal Space




SEARCH h2g2
Edited Entries only
Search h2g2Advanced Search


New visitors: Create your membership
Returning members: Sign in
BBC Homepage
Contact Us


Like this page?
Send it to a friend!

 
ABOUT THIS RESEARCHER

Created: 2nd August 2005 
Just so you know who you're shouting at
Be a devil. Wind up a moral guardian today
Announcing ...space space Birthdays ...space space Calendar ...space space Info Stuff ...space space Who's here ...
Ask h2g2 ...space space Misc Chat ...space space Peer Review ...space space SEx Forum ...space space The Forum ...Coming up...space space Alternative...space space


Things I've written for the Edited Guide.
Entry Title
Status
Subbed/Published Version
Original Version
How To Lamb A SheepEdited Guide Entry
Click Here
Click Here
Lochranza, Isle of Arran, ScotlandEdited Guide Entry
Click Here
Click Here
How To Skin A CatEdited Guide Entry
Click Here
Click Here
Mellified ManEdited Guide Entry
Click Here
Click Here
Potatoes - From Spuds To SpaceEdited Guide Entry
Click Here
Click Here
How To Survive A Trade ShowEdited Guide Entry
Click Here
Click Here
Who Was Mohammed?Edited Guide Entry
Click Here
Click Here
Colonel Charles de Laet Waldo Sibthorp MP - A Most Unconventional ConventionalistEdited Guide Entry
Click Here
Click Here
Sweeney Todd - Coiffeur de DemonEdited Guide Entry
Click Here
Click Here
Pour Encourager Les AutresEdited Guide Entry
Click Here
Click Here
The Adelie Penguins - Pebbles For PaymentEdited Guide Entry
Click Here
Click Here
Sanpaku EyesEdited Guide Entry
Click Here
Click Here
How To Get An Egg Into A BottleEdited Guide Entry
Click Here
Click Here
How To Shrink A HeadEdited Guide Entry
Click Here
Click Here
Declawing CatsEdited Guide Entry
Click Here
Click Here
Women and Children FirstEdited Guide Entry
Click Here
Click Here
How To Grow Your Own CigarsEdited Guide Entry
Click Here
Click Here
How To Fall Out Of A Plane (and live to tell the tale)Edited Guide Entry
Click Here
Click Here
The Gentleman's Gentleman's Guide To Polishing ShoesEdited Guide Entry
Click Here
Click Here
The Gentleman's Gentleman's Guide To Cleaning BrassEdited Guide Entry
Click Here
Click Here


Things wot I'm still working on.
Entry Title
Status
Current Version
How To Cure SeasicknessToo Concise
Click Here
Live Monkey Brains - Lunch Or LegendCENSORED
Click Here
The Gentleman's Gentleman's Guide To Hot Towel ShavingPending
Click Here
How To Perform An ExorcismToo Irreverent
Click Here
How To Calculate The Speed Of Light In Your KitchenPending
Click Here

Deep thanks to Šeep Šoo Šoo for page design.



VOLUNTEER BADGES

Edited Entry badge

RESEARCHER DATA
Name:

Online Nowswl
Last posted: 9 Minutes Ago
Researcher Number:

1775547

Referenced Entries:

All-New Researchers' Birthday Page
The h2g2 Calendar
Lochranza, Isle of Arran, Scotland
How to lamb a sheep
Lochranza, Isle of Arran, Scotland
How to Lamb a Sheep
How to skin a cat
Mellified Man
Potatoes - From Spuds to Space
Mellified Man
The Potato - Its Unexpected Historical Impact
How To Perform An Exorcism
How To Fall Out Of A Plane (and live to tell the tale)
How to Skin a Cat
How To Survive A Trade Show
Pour Encourager Les Autres
How To Survive A Trade Show
Who Was Mohammed?
Sanpaku Eyes - The Windows To The Soul
Sweeney Todd - Coiffeur de Démon
Colonel Charles de Laet Waldo Sibthorp MP - A Most Unconventional Conventionalist
The Ramifications of the Execution of Admiral Byng in 1757
Sweeney Todd - Coiffeur de Demon
Who Was Mohammed?
The Adelie Penguins - Pebbles For Payment
Colonel Charles de Laet Waldo Sibthorp MP - A Most Unconventional Conventionalist
The Adelie Penguins - Pebbles For Payment
How To Get An Egg Into A Bottle
Shrunken Heads
How To Get an Egg Into a Bottle
A24828591
Declawing Cats
Shrunken Heads
Sanpaku Eyes
Women And Children First
How To Cure Seasickness
How To Grow Your Own Cigars
Declawing Cats
Women And Children First
How To Grow Your Own Cigars
How to Survive Falling Out of a Plane
The Gentleman's Gentleman's Guide To Polishing Shoes
The Gentleman's Gentleman's Guide To Cleaning Brass
The Gentleman's Gentleman's Guide To Polishing Shoes
How to Clean Brass
The Gentleman's Gentleman's Guide To Hot Towel Shaving
How To Calculate The Speed Of Light In Your Kitchen

Referenced Researchers:

Šeep Šoo Šoo

CONVERSATIONS
CONVERSATIONCOMMUNITYLATEST POSTLATEST REPLY
Phrases you rarely see on CVsh2g25 Days AgoJust Now
Table Tag Troublesh2g2No Posting3 Minutes Ago
"What news story has caught your attention today?" threadh2g29 Minutes AgoNo replies
Win Douglas Adams's Bath!h2g24 Days Ago39 Minutes Ago
QI -Moondusth2g2No Posting1 Hour Ago
Time for a h2g2 story...h2g2No Posting1 Hour Ago
We're on the Front Page!!h2g2No Posting1 Hour Ago
Deathlist 2009 - The Official Threadh2g22 Days Ago1 Hour Ago
Video compressionh2g2No Posting2 Hours Ago
windows 7h2g2No Posting3 Hours Ago
Show More Conversations 
MESSAGES
Leave a MessageLATEST POST
A totally random question.Sep 8, 2009
Victims SupportSep 2, 2009
stalin schmalinSep 2, 2009
On Possible Editorial Improvement AssistanceJul 26, 2009
I see you've given up on the MorseJul 15, 2009
Can IJun 19, 2009
Glad you're backJun 9, 2009
whateverApr 11, 2009
Spot onFeb 24, 2009
suggestionDec 19, 2008

Show More Messages
JOURNAL
Off campaigning again.
Sep 13, 2009

Sorted out our candidate for the Glasgow North East bye-election today. Isn't it nice when weeks of planning and work pay off? When the announcement's made in ten days or so, it'll make headlines - and not just in Britain.

But there's so much to do. Sort out campaign office(s), hire staff, get press shots done, video to make, book billboards ... yikes

This time around I don't have to put my ugly mug in front of the camera. Instead I get the far more interesting job of pulling the strings behind the scenes. biggrin

So, I'm going to bow out of here again and return after (I expect) Nov 12th with a story about winning a bye-election.

Discuss this entry - 9 replies - Latest reply: Last Week

Blimey !!!
Sep 9, 2009

Just been offered my first paid writing gig. biggrin

Somebody is actually going to pay me to write !! somersault

Discuss this entry - 6 replies - Latest reply: Sep 9, 2009

52 Days and nobody's died
Sep 9, 2009

I stopped smoking on the 20th July after numerous attempts. There were two reasons - firstly it was costing a fortune (average £10 a day), secondly my wife has emphysema and it's kinda wrong for me to be smoking around her.

So I stopped. Not entirely unaided. I started reading "The Allen Carr Method" - basically an attempt to hypnotise the reader into stopping. Didn't really work but it put me in the right frame of mind. The Doc gave me Champix - a drug that basically makes smoking taste foul. I was given a four week supply but I stopped on day 10.

If I've learned anything it's that you've got to want to stop. Relying on all the different drugs/patches/alternatives won't work. Something that all the research and articles seem to miss is some smokers smoke because they actually enjoy it. Yes it's a habit and yes, there's nicotine addiction, but there's nothing better than a satisfying draw of a cigarette/cigar. Feeling the hot smoke fill your lungs is exquisitely satisfying in a way that no number of gums/pills/patches/mechanical aids will ever match. You can feel every little pathway in your lungs as you draw the smoke in - it's lovely.

So, without a really compelling reason, it's easy to see why so many smokers find it hard to quit.

Discuss this entry - 4 replies - Latest reply: Oct 11, 2009

Doorstep Campaigning
Jun 16, 2009

It's one of the politician's stock-in-trade lines - "The message we're getting from the doorsteps is ..." Doorstep campaigning is an essential part of running for election and it was something I started to do immediately after I decided to stand in the Euro Elections. Basically it means arming yourself with some leaflets that describe who you are and what you're doing & then going round knocking on doors. It wasn't something that fazed me - as a salesman I'm used to cold-calling on businesses and although I've never done door-to-door sales, the principle is the same. I was well-warned beforehand by a friend who's a party activist what to expect and she tried to tutor me.

"Have your spiel ready. You've got 5 seconds to catch their attention so come up with a snappy line like "Did you know the Tories are planning to eat your babies?".

It didn't turn out like that. I'd get as far as saying my name and I was an independent standing for election and usually that was enough - the householder was off in a tirade about this party or that politician etc. Over the five weeks I knocked on hundreds of doors in towns all over Scotland and I was only ever asked four or five times what my policies were. Contrary to what I'd been told to expect, very few people were rude. Mind you, I'm pretty good at "reading" people so if I sensed they were bored or irritated I cut things short and moved on.

So I'd say I have a pretty good idea of what people are concerned about right now. Which makes the statements I've seen on the telly from politicians all the more surprising. Somehow, every politician seems to hear exactly what's on their manifesto. Amazing really, given the different parties have totally opposite manifestos.

I did a piece with a TV crew and they wanted to film me doorstepping. The journalist and the camera woman seemed to be quite bored initially, but as we walked over to a housing estate we chatted. It turns out they'd been doing the same thing with all the candidates and it was getting a bit routine. As it happened, it turned out the camera woman and I had a mutual friend from my theatre days so we were soon blethering away. We did the doorstep interviews, (re-filming one when the guy's flatmate came down the stairs with his bathrobe flapping open exposing himself to the camera) and then started walking back.

Now I got the stories about the other candidates. One of them used the opportunity of doorstepping to continue his day job as a door to door salesman. After talking politics, he would give the householder a leaflet and free sample of his firm's products. Another well-known politician was out lending moral support to his candidate. This guy thought himself to be a media pro - whenever the camera was on him, the smile would snap on and he would talk in slogans but when the camera was off him he was a grumpy sod. It became a game between him and the camera crew with them always trying to catch him off guard.

And, they told me, none of them was getting a good reception on the doorsteps. Doors were being slammed in faces and language which couldn't possibly be aired was being used. They filmed one candidate handing out leaflets in a city centre, but the problem was they couldn't get a shot of any members of the public actually taking a leaflet. They ended up doing a close up shot which only showed a hand taking a leaflet - it was the reporter's hand.

Whilst I was in London, I met a friend of a friend who works for a PR company. He was a reporter and presenter for a London news channel a few years ago. He gave me loads of tips on how to handle interviews but then went on to describe some of the underhand things reporters do to unsettle politicians. A common one is, when the floor manager is giving the 5-4-3-2-1 countdown, the reporter will wait until the pause between 2 & 1 to say "Your flies are undone". When the studio cuts to them, the politician has his head down and his hands buried in his crotch. His favourite was one he'd used on a Govt Minister. This guy was a pro and totally unflappable, but as the floor manager did his countdown, the reporter said "I see your wife's been sh@gging young actors again". The look on the Minister's face as the camera cut to him was a picture biggrin

None of that happened to me, but another thing he warned me about did. When you see a studio interview on the TV, quite often there's only one camera. Rather than swinging the camera back and forward, what they do is film an opening shot showing the interviewer and interviewee then they focus entirely on the interviewee. After he's gone, they'll then film the interviewer asking the questions. So, after the establishing shot, they set the camera up on me and we were off. Except, the interviewer got out a newspaper and started eating peanuts whilst I was talking. It's really difficult to talk about something when the other person is patently uninterested and ignoring you. Thankfully, because I'd been warned of this beforehand, I kept my eyeline on the top of his head throughout and although I never saw the piece myself, I'm told you couldn't tell anything was amiss when it was aired.

Knowing what goes on behind the scenes has suddenly made political interviews on the telly far more interesting.

Here's one to watch for. When the floor manager is giving the 5-4-3-2-1 countdown, she'll say 5-4 out loud then mime the 3-2-1 while holding up the correct number of fingers. It's quite common for the interviewee to be looking at her and they'll mouth the 3-2-1 silently, without realising they're doing it. I saw a chap on Newsnight do just that!

Discuss this entry - 8 replies - Latest reply: Jul 13, 2009

A Five Week Adventure
Apr 27, 2009

Right, I've got to sign off for five weeks. Hopefully, when I come back I'll have a story to tell. biggrin

Discuss this entry - 5 replies - Latest reply: Jun 8, 2009

Show more of My Journal Entries


FRIENDS
Here is the friends list of swl:
airscotia-back by popular demand
Personal Space | Journal Entries | Delete

everso
Personal Space | Journal Entries | Delete

PedanticBarSteward
Personal Space | Journal Entries | Delete

Prashna
Personal Space | Journal Entries | Delete

Rev Nick { Only the dead are without fear }
Personal Space | Journal Entries | Delete

Roymondo: World Aids Day, 01/12/2009 A60032828
Personal Space | Journal Entries | Delete

Click here to delete more than one name

The following people have swl on their friends lists:

Count Zero
Personal Space | Journal Entries
2legs- So, this is reality?- I reject this reality and replace it with my own.
Personal Space | Journal Entries
Mistdancer - X - Sporadically Coherent
Personal Space | Journal Entries
fords (vegetarians DON'T eat fish!)
Personal Space | Journal Entries
Serephina..is now married!
Personal Space | Journal Entries
Winnoch2
Personal Space | Journal Entries
Haylle (Nyssabird) ? mg to recovery
Personal Space | Journal Entries
McKay The Disorganised
Personal Space | Journal Entries
Colonel creachy - I like SPAM!!!
Personal Space | Journal Entries
Nova Rift (Werecat/wolf, First Mate of Pirates, Captain of The white Defender, and a Jedi Padawan named Fr' Tel Powil)
Personal Space | Journal Entries
The Groob (Yawning in the face of adversity)
Personal Space | Journal Entries
Psycorp Six-Oh-Three (This bit goes in the brackets)
Personal Space | Journal Entries
airscotia-back by popular demand
Personal Space | Journal Entries
Opticalillusion- media mynx life would be boring without hiccups
Personal Space | Journal Entries
(crazyhorse)impeach hypatia
Personal Space | Journal Entries
TRiG (Ireland) Human rights under attack in Uganda. Look it up. Excellent coverage on the blog "Box Turtle Bulletin"
Personal Space | Journal Entries
Rev Nick { Only the dead are without fear }
Personal Space | Journal Entries
Šeep Šoo Šoo
Personal Space | Journal Entries
Roymondo: World Aids Day, 01/12/2009 A60032828
Personal Space | Journal Entries
Anoldgreymoonraker Free Tibet
Personal Space | Journal Entries
voodoobluesman (All I want for Christmas is a Mk III Travel Machine)
Personal Space | Journal Entries
JCNSmith
Personal Space | Journal Entries
ATinyDistantVoice
Personal Space | Journal Entries
MLPDarth
Personal Space | Journal Entries
everso
Personal Space | Journal Entries

SUBSCRIBED ARTICLES
GUIDE ENTRIES
IDTITLECOMMUNITY STATUSCREATED
A59560383Tips For Cold Morningsh2g2 -2 Weeks Ago
A57240722'Star Trek' - The Holodeckh2g2  pendingSep 17, 2009
A53450381Doorstep Campaigningh2g2 -Jun 20, 2009
A38083548How To Complete An Assault Courseh2g2 EditedJul 31, 2008
A33659418How To Calculate Your Reaction Times With A Rulerh2g2 EditedApr 29, 2008
A32873493How To Calculate The Speed Of Light In Your Kitchenh2g2 EditedMar 31, 2008
A32016629The Gentleman's Gentleman's Guide To Hot Towel Shavingh2g2 EditedMar 18, 2008
A30334934How to Clean Brassh2g2 EditedFeb 11, 2008
A30109231The Gentleman's Gentleman's Guide To Polishing Shoesh2g2 EditedJan 10, 2008
A29552781How to Survive Falling Out of a Planeh2g2 EditedJan 2, 2008
A28278192How To Grow Your Own Cigarsh2g2 EditedDec 27, 2007
A26354702Women And Children Firsth2g2 EditedSep 19, 2007
A25953230Declawing Catsh2g2 EditedAug 22, 2007
Show more of My Guide Entries | Show more of My Edited Guide Entries
Disclaimer

Most of the content on h2g2 is created by h2g2's Researchers, who are members of the public. The views expressed are theirs and unless specifically stated are not those of the BBC. The BBC is not responsible for the content of any external sites referenced. In the event that you consider anything on this page to be in breach of the site's House Rules, please click here. For any other comments, please start a Conversation above.




About the BBC | Help | Terms of Use | Privacy & Cookies Policy