Michael Brown

I'm never sure what to write in spaces like this. Of course I want to be at least mildly entertaining and impressive. I generally start off writing under the assumption that my erudite wit will be enough to hold the reader's attention, but quickly remember that nobody really cares what the hell I have to say. Following that, the realisation that even I don't find what I'm doing to be very interesting dawns on me.

My interest is all I'm concerned with holding in the following column. Which means that it will be incredibly self-aggrandizing and will probably make you gag. Shall we continue?

I am, just to clarify, Michael Brown, a twentysomething student currently reading English at Clemson University (which means I find that old joke that explains the difference between the English and Scottish usage of 'shall' and 'will' to be enormously entertaining). I've been doing a lot of Milton and restoration literature lately, so I guess you could call that my specialty.

(Note: The following paragraph is a complete and total lie! I've retired from Sub-editing now - although, for reasons explored quite nicely below, haven't yet got round to tidying up my Personal Space. Cheers!)

I'm a Sub-editor for the Guide, and if you write articles than there's a small chance I'll be editing one of yours someday. I say 'small' because I'm absolutely the most incompetent person when it comes to dealing with deadlines. I do the last nine-tenths of an assignment at the last possible moment. The fact that that nine-tenths turns out to be some of my best work is a constant aggravation.

But what can you do?