A bit of Flip the Frog's resume...
Oct 11, 2000
One cannot claim to be the guardian of all that is good without being able to back it up, so in order to give all of the loyal FlipFans some grounds for argument against the "closet FlipFans" who still claim to not like your favorite defender of the downtrodden, and those few who are just plain evil, like the jerks in S.T.U.M.P.E.D.
My first big adventure came one summer day when I stopped an evil adversary named Elisabeth from trying to destroy the ice cream man and his beloved truck, which brings joy, happiness, and ice cream to hopeful children across the land. Apparently, my adversary was claiming that the ice cream man "discriminated" against her and wouldn't sell her ice cream on the basis of age, but I bought some, and so did her little sister, so I knew that it was just a legitimate cover for her diabolical agenda. But worry not, because I was fully able to stop the fiend from hoarding the world's ice cream supply and then bringing destruction to the ice cream truck and all the wonderful things it stands for. After that, she was converted and helped my on my next heroic endeavor.
Next, I stopped her little sister Cookie from murdering a bunch of innocent little critters. Allow me to explain. Cookie claims to be a loving and wonderful owner of many pets, but for some reason, her pets keep dying. She lost a fish, a gerbil, and a guinea pig in the course of a week. That's not good ownership, if you asked me. So, in order to save the lives of the pets still living in the house, namely the Pacman frog, I devised a plan to escort Lis to the house, finagle the frog, and escape back to her dorm to stash it there. The plan went swimmingly. Now Cookie is trying to acquire a ferret or a hedgehog, and thus I am doing everything in my power to keep her from succeeding in it.
I also chair the Lincoln High School Committee Against Smut, although I now reside at Wabash College. We work to drive all that is smutty to areas where we don't have to tolerate, and then once we get it there, exterminate it completely. We generally accomplish this goal by blacklisting the offenders, and occasionally killing them. Drastic measures to be sure, but a small price to pay for purity.
So my friends, follow my exemplary example and eradicate everything essentially evil.
Flip
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