Okay, a brief resume. Since my birth in 1962 I have been steadily increasing in weight, which I regard as entirely normal. I'm sure the 15 years when my body mass didn't alter was a statistical blip.

I spend my time playing folk and blues guitar to enormous and deleriously happy audiences, running a multinational business empire, fighting off advances from beautiful women, and lying through my teeth to people that I don't consider ready for the awful truth.

Despite a happy and stable childhood I turned out reasonably normal in the face of my own considerable efforts to be a rebel and buck the system. (That's "Buck" the system, yes. Capital "B".) Sadly my long hair and headbanging habit didn't survive the transition to salary-earning adulthood.

I was introduced to h2g2 by my oldest friend, BluesSlider, who has been thrown out of some of the best pubs and clubs in the land, and only survives in here by hiding under his alias. I am seldom happier than when sitting playing guitar with this man with a tankard of beer or glass of whisky to hand.

And I think that's quite enough for now.