Posted Mar 4, 2002 by Woodpigeon (oh, I do like a bit of gorgonzola)
Hi HappyDude,
It's got the makings of a very informative article! On reading the article I found that there are quite a few grammatical errors - here are just a few from the first few sentences.
* Monmouth footnote - no full stop "Lucy Walter he was beheaded". Also the sentence that this footnote appears in is quite a mouthful. Consider splitting it into 2 or 3 separate sentences.
* should "Prorogued" be capitalized?
* "During September the Bloody Assizes occurred these were court sessions" - "occurred. These..."
* "upto 320" - "up to 320"
* had pled - pleaded?
* "James II went on to suspended laws and the execution of laws" - "to suspend, and execute laws..."?
* "breech" refers to your bum. It should be "breach".  The sentence in which it appears is also unwieldy.
I'll stop there (out of time), but I think overall your article could do with a slimming down on some of the sentences (more full stops!) and the detail. You are adding characters to the plot with no indication of who they are, and it might be better to footnote them, or just leave them out altogether. I will try to look at the article again after some of the basic grammatical and structural problems have been addressed.
I hope this helps,
 Woodpigeon
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Posted Mar 4, 2002 by HappyÐude® ... "short skirt long jacket" (have you seen my coxcomb?)...a ℘eripatetical entity
Thanks, a couple of points I can clear up now the rest I’ll take a look at the article and alter where necessary,
*should "Prorogued" be capitalized?
In my opinion yes.
*upto 320" - "up to 320
I believe upto is as acceptable as up to (I no this is a debatable point & I’m not going to debate it now – if this entry is picked the Sub Ed can make a final decision.)
*James II went on to suspended laws and the execution of laws" - "to suspend, and execute laws..."?
Should be “execution”.
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Posted Mar 4, 2002 by HappyÐude® ... "short skirt long jacket" (have you seen my coxcomb?)...a ℘eripatetical entity
* had pled - pleaded
"pled Scottish English and American English
the past tense and past participle of plead", Longman web Dictionary
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