Posted Oct 29, 2001 by U255
Here's a little entry wot I wrote earlier. Everyone's comments welcome. Except Ashley's.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/A646210
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Posted Oct 29, 2001 by Zarquon's Singing Fish!
Hi,
Living is SE London, as I do, I have never heard of this museum, but he entry makes it sound interesting. I might even go there one day.
I would suggest putting the last paragraph nearer to beginning. For me, that seems to make more sense and the free entry stuff is a selling point, I think.
You say the museum is suitable for children. From what age?
If I was writing this, I might have put the stuff about Kate Winslett etc. as a footnote, but you're free to ignore this. By the way, do you thing everyone will know who she is?
 
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Posted Oct 30, 2001 by U255
I've read your comments... and I agree with them all! I've updated the entry to reflect them. Many thanks indeed for your time.
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Posted Oct 30, 2001 by Zarquon's Singing Fish!
Yes, I think Kate Winslett is definitely better off in the footnotes. The entry reads better now in my opinion.
I like footnotes where you can read them and they make sense on their own, without the tedious to-ing and fro-ing you sometimes get with footnotes. Yours are like this and they are very jolly. 
Another small suggestion - again, you're free to disagree with me - the reference to the Researcher in the body of the text jars very slightly. Might you consider amending it either to 'one is reminded of' or 'one is transported to' - 'or 'you are' if you don't like 'one'.
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Posted Nov 13, 2001 by Jimi X
Nice one. Now where's a Scout with picks when you need one... 
- X
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Posted Nov 14, 2001 by BBC auto-messages
Editorial Note: This conversation has been moved from 'Peer Review' to 'The Geffrye Museum, Kingsland Road, Dalston, London'.
This thread has been moved out of the Peer Review Forum because your entry has now been recommended for the Edited Guide.
You can find out what will happen to your entry here: http://www.h2g2.com/SubEditors-Process
Congratulations!
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Posted Nov 14, 2001 by Jimi X
Wow! That was fast...
Now wipe that smile off your face Sam and get back to work!
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