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Posted Aug 8, 2001 by Portable Chaos
http://www.bbc.co.uk/h2g2/guide/A611399
Hi,
Have just finished this and would be thankful for any comments
PC
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Posted Aug 8, 2001 by Azara
Hi, PC!
There are three general comments I would like to make:
First, you really need to proof-read the entry again. There are quite a few spelling mistakes (including in the title) and places where it looks as if you changed part of a sentence and forgot to change the rest (e.g. 'his father who had teacher English').
Secondly, a lot of Guide readers outside Britain won't recognise the references to Howard and Heseltine - Thomas is really much more famous worldwide than they are! I think you would be better to drop those references.
Thirdly, it would really help to improve the look of the entry if you used Guide ML. Of course the sub-editors can put it in, but first you have to impress a Scout enough to convince them to pick the entry. If you used Guide ML you could put in clear headers, and putting the quotations in italics would make it clear where they end (especially with the bits from Under Milk Wood).
I hope this helps!
Azara
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Posted Aug 8, 2001 by Portable Chaos
it does indeed help, sometimes my spelling leaves a lot to be desired [ to make a mistake in the heading is a simpletons error], and have corrected the mistakes, although the guide ML is beyond me.
PC
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Posted Aug 9, 2001 by Will Of God
Good content, but the visual and syntatical flow leaves a little to be desired... needs to be smoothed out.
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Posted Aug 9, 2001 by Portable Chaos
I have done some tinkering with the main content, but i am trying to use the GuideML to improve the look, but at the moment i am not having much luck [ i care barely switch on the computer without disaster striking ]
PC
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Posted Aug 9, 2001 by Azara
Hi, Portable Chaos!
If you are not used to Guide ML, what I would seriously suggest is that you make only one or two changes at a time and then update the entry. (This will probably get you on the list of Most Frequent Posters, but don't worry, it will wear off!). If you try and make a lot of changes at once then you may end up very frustrated if you're being told there's an error and you can't track it down.
So to start with, just go to Edit entry, click on the Guide ML box, and then update it. All your paragraph spacing will disappear, but at least you've got the first step done.
The main things I think you need are:
<HEADER> at the beginning of your headings and </HEADER> at the end.
<P> at the beginning of each paragraph and </P> at the end.
<I> at the beginning of anything you want in italics and </I> at the end.
<BR/> at the end of a line if you want to separate the lines of a quotation.
It would probably be easier for the moment to put these in one at a time and then update, so that you can keep track of any problems.
If you want to be particularly fancy, you can use <BLOCKQUOTE> at the beginning of, for example, the quote from Under Milk Wood, and </BLOCKQUOTE> at the end. This indents the quotation at the left, which looks nice.
Give it a try, anyway!
Azara
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Posted Aug 9, 2001 by Portable Chaos
i will try, but don't blame if i start world war three
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Posted Aug 10, 2001 by Tempest
Hi! I've recommended this entry for the edited guide.
Tempest (scout)
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Posted Aug 10, 2001 by Gnomon [See A60420098 for details of new sign-in system]
There are still a fair few spelling mistakes in this, and they are the sort that will not be caught by a spelling checker. For example, you say that Llarebbub is Buggerall backwards, but it obviously isn't. "A stranger has some" looks as if it should be "a stranger has come", but since I don't know the poem, I couldn't say for sure. You will have to check the spelling of any quoted text very carefully, as since it is poetry, the sub-editors should not change it.
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Posted Aug 10, 2001 by Portable Chaos
Thanks for pointing out the idiot mistakes that i keep missing, but as i suffer with dyslexia i quite often miss spelling errors, i have made the corrections you have kindly pointed out.
And a big thank you to Tempest for recommending me. XXXX
PC
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Posted Aug 10, 2001 by Orcus
Tsk - Good entry 
However... I wouldn't hold your breath on the recommendation...the italics may well not accept it yet as it's been in Peer review less than a week.
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Posted Aug 10, 2001 by Portable Chaos
i can hold my breath for a very, very long time [ JOKE ]
PC
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Posted Aug 10, 2001 by Orcus
Sorry but I thought I'd better mention that. We're not supposed to pick articles that have been here less than one week because (a) It gives time for people to find and read the article and suggest changes and (b) it's annoying for authors who've had a perfectly good article here for months to see articles picked out almost instantaneously.
As I said though - this *is* a good article and should wend its way into the guide. Don't worry about the GuideML mark up - doesn't bother me if someone has or hasn't done this and in fact the writing guidelines do encourage people with no knowledge of Mark up languages to write anyway. I've even discussed this on the Scouts' forum and those who are also sub-editors seem to actually prefer it sometimes if the author hasn't marked it up as they occasionally have to unwravel non-approved guideML which is far more time consuming than simply marking up an article from scratch.
As a suggestion - would it be nice to include a list of some of his more notable works at the end of the article - I know he wrote many poems but a list of your favourites or his most famous ones would be nice 
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Posted Aug 17, 2001 by Portable Chaos
MONKEYS SECRETLY CONTROL OUR ACTIONS
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Posted Aug 31, 2001 by Ausnahmsweise, wie üblich (Consistently inconsistent)
This looks like it has potential!
(I recently heard on a radio program that Thomas may have been diabetic and that his death may not have been directly due to too much drinking.)
I still see one small mistake in a quote from Under Milkwood.
"... And before you let the sun in, mind it wipes it's shoes."
Because the "its" is genitive and not short for "it is", there shouldn't be an apostrophe. Maybe you can compare with the original.
Good luck!
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Posted Oct 1, 2001 by BBC auto-messages
Editorial Note: This conversation has been moved from 'Peer Review' to 'Dylan Thomas - His Sullen Art'.
This thread has been moved out of the Peer Review Forum because your entry has now been recommended for the Edited Guide.
You can find out what will happen to your entry here: http://www.h2g2.com/SubEditors-Process
Congratulations!
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Posted Oct 2, 2001 by Lentilla (Keeper of Non-Sequiturs)
Congratulations on writing this great entry! It will be a little while before your article is edited and ready for the Edited Guide; when it's due to appear, you'll receive an e-mail. Thanks for your contribution, and I look forward to other excellent works!
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Posted Oct 2, 2001 by Portable Chaos
Thanks Lentilla [ Nick Drake rules ] , and also a big thanks to everyone how has left encourageing remarks.
P.C.
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Posted Oct 2, 2001 by Azara
Have some  , Portable Chaos!
Congratulations on getting the entry recommended.
Azara
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Posted Oct 2, 2001 by Portable Chaos
Cheers! Azara, some of my happiest memories involve staggering [ in both senses of the word ] amounts of booze, so a little more won't harm. And thanks for your support.
PC
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