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Posted May 3, 2007 by Langly
This is the first entry i've read on here that's moved me to tears 
 Lx
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Posted May 3, 2007 by Mr. Dreadful (on hiatus)
Same here. 
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Posted May 3, 2007 by Thaumos
That is as brilliant and powerful as the photographs themselves. Thank you especially the links to them, they are amazingly raw.
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Posted May 3, 2007 by h5ringer - The Maestro Cat - Merry Xmas to Hootooers everywhere. This means YOU!
Speechless really is the only possible word to use here. Bravo 
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Posted May 3, 2007 by vacuumdiagram
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Posted May 4, 2007 by Galaxy Babe
Well done Rich
All that angst in your journal? completely unnecessary.
Keep on writing from your heart and soul (if you can)
GB
 
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Posted May 4, 2007 by Woodpigeon
This story and the associated photographs linked to it are unforgettable, humbling and a harrowing reminder of the awful depths of injustice in this world. The photo of the small child is burned into my conscience and I think about it very, very regularly.
I think you deserve great credit for bringing this story to our attention.
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Posted May 6, 2007 by  Rich [?] - Cavaliers Batsman of the Year 2009!
It took me a long, long time to write this Entry. Everything I'd read about him was written to make a point, about the tragedy of the circumstances of his death, about the futility of it all, or to serve as moral judge and jury. The more I learnt about him, the less fair this seemed. He was just an average bloke thrust into extraordinary circumstances, and ultimately he just couldn't play the hand he'd been dealt. I can see quite easily that if you or I had been born into his place, we'd have reacted the same way. The spiral he found himself descending was as inescapable as it is excusable. It's very difficult to strip out all the emotion from a story as emotive as this one and leave just the bare facts, and I hope I managed this. I think Kevin deserved his story to be told properly.
When researching Kevin's life, I found a weird sense of normality, which scared me. I'd find myself in bed at night recreating the scenes of those photographs, how they came about, and putting myself there instead. I found it very difficult to sleep without a good dose of strong alcohol, and reading moralistic blogs criticising his actions would make me pace the lounge with anger. I was only researching; I wasn't there, I wasn't him. I can barely imagine enough what it was like to face those situations and that criticism every day. I think few of us could adequately handle the reality without our own lives falling apart.
The 'angst' wasn't about my writing, GB. It was purely existential doubt. I could write 1,000 Entries like this, and together they wouldn't count for a billionth of the power of just one of Kevin's shots. This is a very powerful Total Perspective Vortex, and writing this Entry made me look into it far more deeply that I wanted to. The journal helped to keep me relatively sane while writing it; it was an easy place to sound off about different aspects and separate my feelings from the writing. As far as writing any more goes, we'll see. This may be it from me.
Thank you very much for all your comments. Though I haven't been able to read it since it was picked, I'm very glad it has had an impact on people. The story is important, not the writing - I have no place in Kevin's life - and I hope it keeps on touching people and changing one or two perspectives on life here and there.
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Posted May 6, 2007 by Galaxy Babe
I know your angst wasn't about your writing, but more about whether you could get inside his head/skin enough to tell his story. You feel ... inadequate to the job. I have felt that way. Well I have news for you pal! The story YOU told has brought Kevin to the attention of many who would never otherwise have known of him. I beg to differ when you say you have no place in Kevin's life - you're his h2g2 biographer! Wear that badge with pride, you've done him justice.
Those who were with you in your journal while this was a work-in-progress, know what it took out of you, the personal penalty you paid for caring so deeply. No-one expects you to write to this standard or depth every time, it wouldn't be good for you, or your mental state. So change tack. Take some light relief. You love bluebells, they're in bloom, use them for inspiration. Ease yourself back in gradually, or take a nice long break until you feel whole again.
GB
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Posted May 6, 2007 by Rich [?] - Cavaliers Batsman of the Year 2009!
I'll carry on with this conversation elsewhere, Annie, because I don't think the good people here want to watch me stare at my navel any longer 
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Posted May 7, 2007 by Galaxy Babe
 you know the place
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