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This is the Journal of Genetic Cucumber Mutant
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101 things not to do when drunk
Post: 1
Posted Apr 2, 2001 by Genetic Cucumber Mutant
1. Propose to girls who you fancy but hate you.

2. Wake up the next day and pee in the sink.

3. Spend £30 quid on a night out and realise the next day that you only drunk 2 pints... and then wonder how much the extra value meal cost you.

4. Run in front of taxis.

5. Start thinking about why your love life is **** - it will only depreess you further.

6. Send text messages to people.

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101 things not to do when drunk
Post: 2
Posted Apr 2, 2001 by 2legs -- To insanity and beyond!
7. Get home and decide to phone relitives/friends/local council to leave obscene message complaining over bills.
8. Arieve back home and decide to A. drag out the crate of wine you are supposed to be saving for important occasions/for when its trippled in value and B. drink £150 of it!
9. Attempt to swin, in the North sea, in December, without even having a swiming costume

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101 things not to do when drunk
Post: 3
Posted Apr 2, 2001 by Wayfarer -MadForumArtist, Keeper of bad puns, Greeblet with Goo beret, Tangential One
10. drink immense quantities of coffee so as to be very hyper but also have crummy reflexes.

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101 things not to do when drunk
Post: 4
Posted Apr 2, 2001 by 2legs -- To insanity and beyond!
11. Just being drunk, when it is night before final exams, or important job interview.
12. Attempt to make up with partner for an arguement, or anything.
13. TRY to cook Chinnease or Curry for everyone from pub, who you have invited back for the meal.

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101 things not to do when drunk
Post: 5
Posted Apr 2, 2001 by Genetic Cucumber Mutant
14. (TRUE STORY - mates experience) Get so drunk that you forget where you live; walk home to that place you think you live @ 3am; insult some woman becuase she is living in your house; get stopped by passing patrol car for disturbing the peace; apologise profusely to woman for annoying her (and scaring her); get life home with nice policeman, all 2 miles back to your actual house.

15. (TRUE STORY - mates experience) Go to mates house (my house!) in foreign place. Say "I am going to cashpoint" on leaving club @ 2am; walk wrong way to cashpoint depsite warnings; forget you are meant to meet friends; have friends report you as lost due to long time absence; wake up next day in friend's house with friends; claim that a beautiful woman gave you a lift back to friend's house in her car and that you nearly pulled her (despite not knowing where mate's house was...); discern the next day that 'beautiful woman' was actually female constable; cry.

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101 things not to do when drunk
Post: 6
Posted Apr 3, 2001 by 2legs -- To insanity and beyond!
16. (Following on from last comment[s]; another real thing); Wake up in train station, not knowing what train station it is, to eventually find you are over 80 miles from home, and then after eight years never find out what happened on that night, or where the hat I had obtained came from.

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101 things not to do when drunk
Post: 7
Posted Aug 27, 2001 by Jay Native

• Approach a girl whose name you think you know in a club while completely pie-eyed and when it comes to getting her number having to ask for her real name after guessing it wrong twice.

• Get very lucky and get taken back to a very attractive lady's house. Hopping in the sack and passing out straight away, then in the middle of the night you bladder forgets to wake you when it needs to go and you just wet your latest lady's bed.

Names have been removed from these stories to protect the innocent (not me!)

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101 things not to do when drunk
Post: 8
Posted Aug 27, 2001 by 2legs -- To insanity and beyond!
19. Decide to jump down a set of stairs to "show-off" and end up spraining ankle/breaking leg.

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101 things not to do when drunk
Post: 9
Posted Aug 28, 2001 by Monsignore Pizzafunghi Bosselese
20. (real experience) don't try to slice cucumbers for a late salad. Especially if you don't like the tip from a finger in it sadface

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101 things not to do when drunk
Post: 10
Posted Aug 28, 2001 by 2legs -- To insanity and beyond!
OUCH! yikes now, that must smart like heck the next day yikes

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101 things not to do when drunk
Post: 11
Posted Aug 28, 2001 by Monsignore Pizzafunghi Bosselese
Oh yes it does! But it's a very nice feeling when the pain slowly vanishes smiley

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101 things not to do when drunk
Post: 12
Posted Aug 29, 2001 by Jay Native
21. Fall asleep in a lightly coloured, expensive living room and wake up to throw up on the floor, on the wall, and on the white leather sofa. Trouble is guaranteed.

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101 things not to do when drunk
Post: 13
Posted Aug 29, 2001 by Jay Native
22. Eat a kebab from a van that looks only just safe enough to cook dog food in. It might taste great at the time, but most mere mortals (sober ones anyway) would keel over after one sniff !!

drunk

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101 things not to do when drunk
Post: 14
Posted Oct 3, 2001 by Zak T Duck
Got some more for this list. Of course these are all completely made up, but totally plausible.

23. Propose to your ex by SMS

23a. Propose to your ex by SMS, and get beaten up by her new boyfriend the following day

24. Juggle knives (inadvisable when sober, never mind drunk )

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101 things not to do when drunk
Post: 15
Posted Oct 3, 2001 by 2legs -- To insanity and beyond!
25 decide to clean your hard drive and delete your PHd thesis in its almost complte state which has no back up ccopy

*made up obviously

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101 things not to do when drunk
Post: 16
Posted Nov 6, 2006 by Phoeniks
26. [Another true story] Get off with (snog/make out with) the 'gay and ridiculously camp one' at a party. Being a girl, it was not the best thing to do.............twice...... bubbly

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