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Posted Dec 27, 2002 by mari-rae(tee reads: (entangled in cardboard boxes, please send tape...)
Thank you for the link, but I am not seeing the Island... ???? 
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Posted Dec 27, 2002 by Asteroid Lil
I just checked the link to http://www.asterlil.com/h2g2/mothergoose/mgwelcome.htm
and it's working fine. What exactly are you not seeing? The link is at the bottom of the h2g2 page (Let the Play begin).
*sneaks a bottle of Wild Turkey in with the other bottles to see if anyone notices*
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Posted Dec 27, 2002 by Lighthousegirl UK
 everywhere I look at the moment there are references to turkey 
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Posted Dec 29, 2002 by Chantywrassler Two pounds a month and you too can be a CNUT
I know what you mean. Why 'twas only thirty seconds ago the wife said I was pished as a turkey
....or was it a post office queue? I can never tell the differece without scratch'n'sniff pension books..
On another's issue, am I the only one here who has ever had their drink confiscated and been ejected from a panto because ... wait for it... wait for it...
"There are children present".
I mean, do they actually expect you to sit thru that crap sober without shouting at Mother Goose to get them out for the boys?
Bah humbug!
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Posted Dec 29, 2002 by Chantywrassler Two pounds a month and you too can be a CNUT
btw Mango Breezer actually makes Lemon Coke taste drinkable
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Posted Dec 29, 2002 by Chantywrassler Two pounds a month and you too can be a CNUT
btw2 Never ever, ever, EVER drink Mango Breezer with Fristi Peach and Mango Yoghurt drink, it tends to make a mess of your keyboard.
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Posted Dec 29, 2002 by Chantywrassler Two pounds a month and you too can be a CNUT
btw3 a/a except that Blackcurrant and Blueberry yoghurt tastes better but the colour as you pour the Mango Breezer into it is more than slightly offputting....yellow snow springs to mind and we're not talking Angus Deayton and Gareth Hunt's partypiece here.
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Posted Dec 29, 2002 by Chantywrassler Two pounds a month and you too can be a CNUT
even I don't understand that one. Hey! Silly thought, but maybe, just maybe you can get ratarsed on Mango Breezers 
...then again maybe one was ratarsed beorehand and is only maintaining an reasonale level of drunkenness with which to hold the world (and maniacal womens' pantos) at bay.*
* this in no way constitutes an admission of guilt
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Posted Dec 29, 2002 by Chantywrassler Two pounds a month and you too can be a CNUT
"beorehand"
Ho tish Mi speeling's farting ot og
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Posted Dec 29, 2002 by Chantywrassler Two pounds a month and you too can be a CNUT
KO Munchyboos . Jusht one more tesht and I'll be almosht ready for a pint of your finesht IPA.
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Posted Dec 29, 2002 by Chantywrassler Two pounds a month and you too can be a CNUT
BTW4 "THE CAPS LOCKS BEEN HIT"
RULE OUT TROPICAL LUCOZADE AND MANGO BREEZER UNLESS YOU'VE WOKEN UP NEXT TO SOMETHING WORSE THAN DICED CARROTS.
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Posted Dec 29, 2002 by Chantywrassler Two pounds a month and you too can be a CNUT
btw5 Pear Nectar and Mango Breezer = the Biz.
Not only does it prevent scurvy, but you can also get drunk on it. 
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Posted Dec 29, 2002 by Asteroid Lil
Would you like some toast?
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Posted Dec 29, 2002 by Chantywrassler Two pounds a month and you too can be a CNUT
has anyone seen the Mango Breezer I was saving for New Year to throw at The Sweet tribute band?
Oh well, suppose I'd better go and find a mixer to go with the pernod instead. Hmm let's see, "Sanitorium Creme de Menthe avec Croutons". Yes, let's try that one.......
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Posted Dec 29, 2002 by Chantywrassler Two pounds a month and you too can be a CNUT
Toast? Ho Yus please Lil. Three teaspoonfuls of coffee in it and I'll be right as some weather simile or other.
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Posted Dec 30, 2002 by Asteroid Lil
You need to stay away from those sweet drinks, you know. You'll rot your teeth.
*serves up toast with lashings of butter and dundee marmalade then goes to make coffee*
I shall be the designated coffee server on New Years Eve.
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Posted Dec 30, 2002 by Chantywrassler Two pounds a month and you too can be a CNUT
*takes buttered toast with marmalde from Lil*
Thanks a lot Lil. Now that we can get Ibuprofen in liquid form, do you think you could arrange a seies of antiheadache dips for Hugmaheidday?
*realises he doesn't like marmalade and sneakily scrapes it into the sleeping Pheroneous' open zip*
As for sweet drinks rotting my teeth, I took them out before I started drinking.
*realises he doesn't like toast and sneakily scrapes it off the butter and into the sleeping Pheroneous' open zip*
ghee this is lovely Lil, can I have some more please? 
Munchkin, you postdeserting post deserter you, can I have a French Coffee cocktail please? That's pernod and tia maria servied in a blue and white stripey glass with a string of onions looped over the rim, and a burning sheep impaled on the little umbrella.
*Looks at the list of unfilled vacancies for New Year's Eve and decides to apply for the position of horizontal  . Pops CV into an envelope with a covering letter which reads, "You're ma besht schpal" and posts it in Pheroneous' trouser postbox.*
No wonder Postman Pat takes a drink before starting his round.
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Posted Dec 30, 2002 by Pheroneous
**Emerges from behind tapestry, notices someone has been using flies as a postbox. Gingerly removes envelope with two fingers, and drops it on floor. Carefully, zips up flies. For protection.**
Munchkin! Is this seasonal jollity I see before me. Is this wise? Or, even, allowed? there are rules you know.
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Posted Dec 30, 2002 by Chantywrassler Two pounds a month and you too can be a CNUT
Yes, get control of yourself Munchyboos. What kind of example are you setting for the not-so-young upcoming BOFs of the future miladdo? I've a good mind to take you outside and horsewhip you to within an inch of ecstasy, but you still haven't paid for the last session.
Uhoh.....<gulp> you mean me don't you Pheroneous?  My good man, do you think I'm actually still capable of seasonal jollity at my age? I was drunk as a lord I tell you. I demand to be tried by my peers, just so long as they're unmarried women (it's easier to get the result declared a misstrial if things go wrong).
*picture goes all wobbly <thinks> "Ha! Let's see you straighten that Munchkin*
Well your honour, there I was propping up a bar in the East End yesterday, watching Daniel O'Donnell and Cliff Richard on Songs of Praise, when suddenly this Irish song based on the wurzels Combine Harvester came on the jukebox...."I drove my Saracen thru your garden last night....". I'm afraid the situation got to me and I lapsed into a bout of cheery drunken surrealism I haven't felt in many a long month well before it reached the chronicly hilarious chorus of:-
"I've a lovely shiny helmet and a pair of kinky boots,
I've got a lovely brand new jacket and a lovely kardi suit...
And when we go on night patrol we hold each others hands,
For we are the British Army and we're here to take your lands."
I defy anyone here's brain to cope with the sight of a muted Cliff Richard on TV apparently singing this song to his Blue Rinse Groupies at The National Stadium in Cardiff.
Short term memory loss prevents me from remembering the best lines and it seems that this masterpiece of Irish literature is unpublished on the web, tho I reserve the right to bring further lyrics before the court should the situation repeat itself and should this verdict go against me.
I rest my O'Casey.
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Posted Dec 30, 2002 by Chantywrassler Two pounds a month and you too can be a CNUT
I would like to take this opportunity to lay further evidence for my impaired mental state before the court:-
http://www.bbc.co.uk/religion/tv_radio/songsofpraise/index.shtml
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