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Posted Nov 8, 2000 by §hadow
A light fixture in our house blew out yesterday and my fiance' told me to call for an Electrician. After going through the phone book, I discovered there were only two in the local area. I told her about both of them.
The first one was a man named Paul Witherspoon and he was listed as a fully liscenced and bonded electrician and a Union member in good standing with over 25 years of experience. The other one was a guy named Hans Reboose and he was simply listed as being a midget.
She told me to just go ahead and call whichever was the best qualified. So I did. When the midget Hans Reboose showed up instead of Paul Witherspoon electrician extrodinaire, she was incredulous. "I can't believe you hired a guy who's only qualification to fix this is he's a midget!" she yelled at me.
"But honey..." I protested "you know what they say...Mini Hans makes light work!"
~§~
§hadow
http://www.h2g2.com/u133044
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Posted Nov 12, 2000 by Wayfarer -MadForumArtist, Keeper of bad puns, Greeblet with Goo beret, Tangential One
as the 1st person to actually submit anything, you recieve a complementary  or whatever your drink is!
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Posted Nov 16, 2000 by §hadow
Glenmorangie Scotch with the Port finish on the rocks is my preferred poison.
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§hadow
http://www.h2g2.com/u133044
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Posted Nov 20, 2000 by §hadow
Aye lass, it's too exclusive for just any old plain smiley. It needs an entire crew of programmers and analysts that are tried and true enthusiasts of that golden elixer to do the job right for it.
~§~ 
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Posted Oct 17, 2006 by TheGeekMom
A suggestion gentle readers, the Xanth books by Poul Anderson have a Plethora of Puns read them and enjoy
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Posted Oct 17, 2006 by TheGeekMom
In regards to a lady named Muffet, tuffet outdoor furniture, spiders, and proper manners toward a lady enjoying an outdoor repast, courtesy of Guy Wetmore Caryl's "The Embarassing Episode of Little Miss Muffet",
"The moral is this be it madam or miss to whom you have something to say, you are only absurd when you step in the curd, but you're rude when you get in the way."
For those more familiar with the "Harmonius Heedlessness of Little Boy Blue", I present this:
"The moral lies, before your eyes, when tending kine and corn. Don't spend your noons in tooting toons upon a blatant horn. Or scaling and assailing for with energy immense, your cows will take a railing, and the farmer take offense".
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