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Posted Aug 20, 2000 by Tube - the being being back for the time being
I dimly recall a joke about that... it runs something like this:
The Police stops Heisenberg for speeding, the cop asks: "Sir, do you have any idea of how fast you were driving?" - "No", replies Heisenberg, "but I know where I am!"
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Posted Oct 13, 2002 by Researcher 206110
This would also be plausible:
Heisenberg is lost and asks a policeman, "Where am I?", to which the intergalactic traveller in the disguise of a plod answers, "I don't know but I know where you are headed".
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Posted Jun 10, 2003 by Count Zero
One of my favourite bumperstickers for geeks is:
"I'm not too sure about the Heisenberg guy anyway"
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Posted Jun 10, 2003 by Steve K.
A little adaptation of a joke:
Heisenberg was very brilliant but very absent-minded. So one morning his wife tells him that they are moving that day, so when he gets off work at the lab, he should go to the new address. Quitting time comes and Heisenberg, of course, forgets all about the new house and goes to the old one, which is vacant. As he stands there on the sidewalk wondering what to do, he sees a little girl walking up. He asks her, "Little girl, do you know where the famous scientist Heisenberg lives?" She says, "Yes, daddy, mommy sent me to get you."
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Posted Jun 10, 2003 by Behind Geddon's wall, The Wall of death! (chemist-assassin, keeper of the hooded swan)
A few years ago, no less an august body than the Royal Society of Chemistry tried to get in on the act with:
"Heisenberg may have slept Here".
No-one should let us chemists loose with comedy - it's frightening!!
They also came up with
" If it's green and wriggles - it's Biology
If it doesn't work - it's Physics, and
If it goes bang - it's Chemistry"
Is it any wonder we scientists are considered to be slightly mad!!!!!
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Posted Jun 10, 2003 by Cupid Stunt
That's been around for years, and in it's correct foprm (not meaning to nit pick) is:
If it wiggles it's biology, if it smells it's chemistry, and if it doesn't work it's physics.
But back to Heisenberg...
Q: Why was Heisenberg bad in bed?
A: Because when he had the time, he didn't have the energy, and when he had the momentum, he didn't know the position.
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Posted Jun 11, 2003 by Count Zero
Here's the worst physics joke I've ever heard.
On a bumpersticker:
Beware of quantum ducks...
QUARK, QUARK
<biggroan>
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Posted Jun 12, 2003 by Cupid Stunt
*joins in with a sympathy <biggroan>*
Two atoms are walking along when one of them trips over and lands on the floor.
"Are you alright?" enquires the first.
"No!" replies the second "I've lost an electron!"
"Are you sure"? asks the first.
"Of course I'm sure!" answers the second "I'm positive!"
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