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Posted Oct 15, 2009 by The_Jon_m - Young, Educated and proud to be so. Bluesman of the Parish - Forgot about Dre
Entry: The River Mersey, England, UK - A58387675
Author: Lord The_Jon_m - The Return of the Sage - Young, Educated and proud to be so. Bluesman of the Parish - U204330
hi
will add a few links very soon, I'm sure I can find some
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Posted Oct 15, 2009 by  lanzababy - Pirate - Scout - adrift on life's ocean
Hi Jon  Another promising entry. I'm sure there are lots of things I can say, but it's 2.30 am and I will likely make more sense in the morning.
Just suffice it to say, that it makes an interesting look at a journey through the North West of England.
 to remind myself to re read!
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Posted Oct 15, 2009 by lanzababy - Pirate - Scout - adrift on life's ocean
erm - me again. As an ex resident of Didsbury and later of Sale, I thought it important that you make a note of the Flood Defence System
where you write:
>>>>There are few houses near the river as it visits the three Didsburies, instead there is parkland, farmland, and a plurality of golf courses.
I believe you are referring to the area which is allowed to flood.
http://www.mangeogsoc.org.uk/egm/5_1.pdf
As the risk of flood is one we all have to learn to live with, I reckon you need to weave something about it, into an entry on a river.
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Posted Oct 15, 2009 by Not-so-bald-eagle
Hi !
I've just read this informative entry.
The first sentence ('one of the world's great...') jars and seems like hyperbole. The river might deserve this ranking but IMHO doesn't have it. I think the 2nd sentence is sufficient to convey its importance (underlies->underlines?).
2nd para. ("*Its* name comes from..."): The last sentence isn't clear to me.
"Stockport Tiviot Dale station" perhaps specifying that it's a train station
"The Mersey valley here is overlooked by high ground on either side." Although I'm not completely sure where 'here' is, what about something along the lines of "Here, the Mersey river runs through a valley", "Here, the Mersey valley is very deep" or perhaps you wished to emphasize that the valley is narrow here....
"The M60 then crosses over to the south side where it continues to follow the flat river valley around the south of the conurbation." I'm not sure what conurbation is meant.
"Meanders are the name of the game now as the river is *indecisive squeezes* ...." a typo or something
"waterfoul" -> "waterfowl"
"On the Wirral side..." I suggest 'on the Wirral side of the river' for those not familiar with the geography
I hope I haven't been too picky and that these comments help you to polish your entry. Feel free to disregard anything you don't like
 
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Posted Oct 15, 2009 by lil~ACE/Scout {Auntie Giggles}
Living in the lower reaches of the Mersey, I can see it all! 
Can you please change Hesby to Helsby. It's mentioned in a couple of places 
This Entry will work in nicely with a little article I have on the back boiler 
OOoh! Can you please mention Billy Fury, he used to work on the ferries A12921860
lil xx
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Posted Oct 15, 2009 by Gnomon [See A60420098 for details of new sign-in system]
I'm not supposed to comment without having read the entry, but I'm going to anyway.
Just glancing over this quickly, the main section entitled "The Mersey" is far too long with too many paragraphs that are only a sentence or two long. A section that long is going to need more structure: perhaps subheaders, or joining it up into paragraphs. Otherwise people will lose interest and stop reading it.
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Posted Oct 15, 2009 by HonestIago. SIWOTI syndrome sufferer.
I agree with Gnomon: The Mersey section is too long and needs breaking up into smaller sections. I think you the detail with which you talk about stations and railways is a bit much, at least put them into a separate section.
Couple of small errors: the Mersey starts meandering a few miles before Carrington, the first big meanders crop up in the Didsburys and by Chorlton Water Park the meanders are a couple of miles wide, and New Brighton is a still a resort, just a diminished one. Also you use peninsular a couple of times when describing the Wirral, when you mean peninsula.
The Etherow is the longest tributary of the Mersey and it might be worth mentioning the Trans-Pennine Trail which runs within a mile or two of the Etherow/Mersey for almost their entire length apart from a short section in Stockport where it cuts a corner.
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Posted Oct 15, 2009 by Galaxy Babe
<<Spike Island was a toxic site, when chemical factories, railway lines and docks have rusted and decayed.>>
I don't understand that
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Posted Oct 15, 2009 by Devonseaglass-dsg
As a former resident of Spike Island, I have an interest in the bridges across the Mersey thereabouts.
The railway bridge is also called Ethelfleda Bridge and is a Grade 2 listed building. It has Saxon connections, hence the name.
There is a proposal to build a new road bridge to take traffic away from Runcorn and the Silver Jubilee Bridge (the Mersey Gateway project). This will be a toll bridge.
The Transporter Bridge, completed in 1905, was the largest of its type in the world.
The Manchester Ship canal, which runs under these and former bridges, was in its day the largest canal in the world at 36 miles (58km) long.
Enjoyed reading the entry, for reasons I cannot fathom.
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Posted Oct 15, 2009 by The_Jon_m - Young, Educated and proud to be so. Bluesman of the Parish - Forgot about Dre
I think I'll take that as a compliment
attacked most changes and added links
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Posted Oct 15, 2009 by Galaxy Babe
<<British Hindus see the Mersey as the British version of the Ganges and perform their ceremonies there>>
do you have a link for that?
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Posted Oct 15, 2009 by Dr Zen now with PhD Funding.
Fantastic Entry..
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Posted Oct 16, 2009 by Galaxy Babe
Ah, thanks for the elaboration. I thought you meant ritual bathing: http://www.indiavacationpackages.co.../ritual-bathing-in-river-ganges.jpg
Perhaps a small addition:
British Hindus see the Mersey as the British version of the Ganges and perform their ceremonies there, although they draw the line at ritual bathing (and please add that BBC News link, which is very interesting)
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Posted Oct 20, 2009 by lanzababy - Pirate - Scout - adrift on life's ocean
I still think this needs a bit more polishing Jon, as there are a fair few spelling or typos to correct.
The section with the header 'The Mersey' is still very long and hard to follow - maybe if you edit out parts that are not really connected to the river itself? For instance you write:
>>>> Crossing them is the busy Styal line taking would be jetsetters from Manchester to Manchester Airport. This would be an ideal place to link the railways, allowing either trains from Chester and the west or Stockport and the east direct access to one of the country's major airports. While plans were muted in the 1990s, nothing has happened. Looking to the south, one can see the massive 747 Jumbo jets that seem to hang in the air as they approach the airport from far away climbs. However most of the noise comes from the more mundane road network. The dual carriageway A34 takes motorists south out of the city heading towards Wilmslow and perhaps Stafford, Birmingham and Winchester beyond, it runs next to the railway. The roar of the motorway is difficult to get away from along the first few miles of the river, however here, there is not one, but two to contend with as the M56 splits away from the M60, providing a rapid link to the traffic jam on the A556 waiting to join the M6.<<<<<
I think a lot of this could easily be condensed, eg
Crossing them is the busy Styal line taking passengers to Manchester Airport. Looking to the south, one can see the frequent aircraft that seem to hang in the air as they approach the airport runways.
However most of the noise comes from the more mundane road network. The dual carriageway A34 takes motorists south out of the city heading towards Wilmslow and eventually Stafford, Birmingham and Winchester. The roar of the motorway is difficult to get away from along the first few miles of the river. At this point there is not one, but two motorways to contend with as the M56 splits away from the M60, providing a rapid link to the traffic jam on the A556 waiting to join the M6.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I suggest that if this is a journey along the river, then any extraneous descriptions be examined critically to ensure that they add to the purpose of the entry, otherwise they are diluting its impact.
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Posted Nov 10, 2009 by The_Jon_m - Young, Educated and proud to be so. Bluesman of the Parish - Forgot about Dre
I will work on this soon, but since the eds have randomly removed my Wickford entry ... A13083680 ...
on the grounds of it breaking house rules (which I didn't notice when I wrote it, nobody in PR noticed, the scouts didn't notice, the italics approving it didn't notice, the subs didn't notice and the eds didn't notice when puttign it on the front page).
I am very annoyed that it has been left (I don't know how long for) with the message saying that all I have to do is a simple edit to fix it. I CAN'T EDIT IT, IT'S EDITED.
To me this message is infering that I just can't be bothered sticking to the rules and won't chance something I didn't know was wrong. It is also an insult to not just me, but the PR process, the scouts and the subs
I'm not in any rush to work on EG stuff until I get and answer and apology
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Posted Nov 10, 2009 by Galaxy Babe
I think you're supposed to edit the text in the email they sent you, and the Eds fix the edited entry.
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Posted Nov 11, 2009 by lanzababy - Pirate - Scout - adrift on life's ocean
Sorry Jon, but I'm not following you. Is the 'modded' entry something that was in the Edited Guide already?
If you had an email from the eds, as GB has suggested, then there must be something that needs attending to. But there is also a 'glitch' that randomly seems to strike entries.
Have you had an email from the italics?
Whatever the cause, it is impossible for the Scouts to be aware of this situation. There are thousands of entries, and no way for us to be made aware of problems like this, unless the author of the entry lets us know. I don't think you can link this problem to anything that happens here in PR. and I really hope it doesn't put you off completing your entry on the River Mersey.
 and tea and sympathy!
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Posted Nov 12, 2009 by The_Jon_m - Young, Educated and proud to be so. Bluesman of the Parish - Forgot about Dre
it was my edited entry on Wickford, Essex.
I haven't got an email from the eds about it
but as a scout / sub when I wrote it, when it got PRed, when it scout scouted, when the eds accepted it, when it got subbed and when it was put on the front page, nobody had a problem.
It must have been up for a fairly long time, and also down for a fairly long time. That it has now been deemed unsuitable is a slight onthe whole PR process
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Posted Nov 12, 2009 by lanzababy - Pirate - Scout - adrift on life's ocean
I think it sounds like the 'moderation' bug has affected your entry Jon. That is why I asked whether you had received an email - as I believe the bug does not generate an alerting email. I think you should go to the reporting bugs page
Feedback-Bugs and let the eds know about it.
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